24 wonderful and safe around me, and I gave into it. I buried my face in his chest and sobbed. “It’s going to be alright, Alice,” Jack whispered. “He’s going to be okay. You just need to get some rest.” “There’s no way I can rest as long as Milo’s…” I trailed off. I didn’t know how to finish the sentence, and I could barely fight off the fatigue anymore. Even though I didn’t want to admit it, I didn’t know how much longer I could stay awake. “Mae’s sitting with him, and you know she’ll make sure he’s as comfortable as he can be.” Jack stood up and lifted me in his arms. He carried me upstairs to his room. After he laid me down in his bed, he stood next to it, looking hesitant. “You aren’t gonna leave me, are you?” I wanted him with me. I didn’t want to be alone. “Mae wanted me to sleep on the couch downstairs,” Jack said. “But I don’t want you to.” Still looking unsure, he carefully climbed into bed next to me. I had too much on mind to get excited about it, but he made me feel safer than I ever thought possible. I rested my head on his chest, listening to his slow heartbeat. Only one thin wall away from us, my brother laid in a bed, going through his own struggle. I felt guilty for falling asleep when his future remained so uncertain. The exhaustion of the night won out over my guilt, and I passed out in Jack’s arms.
25 - 4 - Jack was gone when I woke up. I went next door to check on Milo, but he seemed to mostly the same. He lay in bed, looking pale and frightfully small, but at least his breathing had improved a little. Mae staked out a position next to his bed, and she assured me that he had yet to wake up. After I got dressed, Ezra addressed the practical aspects of the situation. Milo couldn’t go home right now, and I didn’t want to be away from him. Our mother was always gone, thanks to work and a gambling addiction, but she would notice if we didn’t come home for days. Ezra suggested that I go home, get some clothes, and tell my mom that we were staying at their vacation house for awhile. Jack returned from his mysterious whereabouts and offered to take me home. Ezra had to repeatedly assure me that Milo would be fine before I got in the car with Jack. I was convinced that Milo would take a turn for the worst as soon as I left. “He’s going to be alright,” Jack told me again as we pulled out of the driveway. “How do you know that? Have you even seen him today?” I glared over at him. It’d hurt me to wake up alone, and he hadn’t explained his absence. “Yeah, I checked on him when I got up. Ezra said everything’s going fine. It looks like the change is taking.” His earlier guilt seemed to have lessened a bit, since it looked like Milo wouldn’t die. “When did you get up?” “Awhile ago.” “Where were you?” I asked. “I had to eat.” He shifted uncomfortably. After all this time, I think he still expected me to go screaming for the hills every time he mentioned that he drank blood. I hadn’t gotten used to the idea, but it didn’t repulse me. Well, not enough to send me packing, anyway. “So did you just pick up some girl?” My jealousy flared, but oddly enough, that appeared to relieve him.
26 “No. We were low on blood at the house, so I went to the bank and picked some up. We’re gonna need more blood around with Milo.” He said it so matter-of-factly, but in a weird way, it hadn’t fully sunk in with me yet. Milo needed to drink blood. “When does Milo need to eat?” “Soon, I think.” He looked over at me to see how I was taking things. I must’ve managed to look pretty okay, because he continued. “At first, he’s going to eat a lot. The turning takes a lot out of you, and he won’t understand how to gauge his hunger.” “I can’t believe this is happening,” I groaned. Closing my eyes, I leaned back in the seat and tried not to look as freaked out as I felt. “It won’t be so bad,” Jack said. “I mean, I’m not so bad, right?” “So what’s gonna happen?” “I can’t really say for sure.” “What do you mean you can’t say? You’re a vampire. You know what it’s like to be one,” I said incredulously. “Yeah, but it’s different for everybody.” He wanted to let it go with that, but I kept glaring at him until he continued. “You already know the basics. I don’t even know what you’re trying to find out.” “This whole turning process,” I clarified. “What does that entail exactly?” “I don’t know,” Jack said, and I scoffed. “What? I can’t really remember, and I’ve never seen anybody else turn.” I couldn’t tell if he was lying or not, but it seemed pretty ridiculous that he couldn’t remember the most important event of his life, especially since it hadn’t been that long ago. I could understand if Ezra had forgotten, but sixteen years was relatively recent. “How can you not remember?” “Do you remember being born?” Jack countered. “No, but I wasn’t twenty-four when it happened.” “Well…” He sighed. We pulled up in front of my brownstone, but we
27 sat in the car as he thought of a way to explain it. “Mae can remember her turning vividly, and I think Peter can too. But I can’t. Mine’s all hazy, like a dream I had a very long time ago. I just can’t remember pain very well, I guess.” “So it is really painful?” I asked, even though I wasn’t sure I’d want to know. “Your body dies,” Jack said softly. “Not all of it, but enough where you really feel it. But it only lasts a few days, and then everything feels really wonderful.” “Is there anything they can do for the pain?” “You’re really so much better off talking to Ezra about all of this,” he said. “Do you think I made the right choice?” “I think you made the only choice,” Jack told me solemnly. Then he smiled crookedly, trying to brighten my mood. “Come on. Let’s go pack your stuff so we can hurry up and have a sleepover.” “You make it sound so much more fun than it really is,” I muttered and got out of the car. “Hey, any time you spend with me is fun!” Jack said, following me out. “Oh, yeah, last night was a total hoot.” I meant it at as some kind of joke, but the hurt look on Jack’s face meant I cut a lot deeper than I meant to. “I didn’t mean it like that.” “Nah, you’re right,” he brushed me off and went into the apartment building in front of me. The apartment looked the same as it always had, but it felt smaller somehow. Thankfully, my mother was at work, because I wasn’t ready for a conversation with her. It’d be too hard telling her Milo wasn’t coming home, even if I was just feeding her a lie a vacation house. Milo’s room was immaculate, making it easy to find the things that I needed to pack. He mostly needed clothes, and I picked out what I thought were his favorites.
28 Jack tagged along for moral support, and he ended up being a huge motivator. I tended to stand and stare until he prompted me to do something, like pick up a shirt. Going through all Milo’s stuff was hard. It felt like an invasion of privacy and the kind of the thing I would do when he was dead. After we got Milo’s stuff, I went in my room to grab my clothes. As long as Milo was turning, I didn’t plan to leave him, so I’d need things for myself. Before we left, I wrote a note for my mother and kept it as simple as I could. I told her we were at a vacation house for the next few days, and I’d have my cell if she needed me. The note didn’t sound very convincing, mostly because it was from me. Milo usually did that kind of thing. “How long is this gonna take?” I asked on the car ride back. “The car ride?” Jack was willfully playing dumb, and I didn’t appreciate it. “Like five more minutes.” “How long will it take for Milo to turn?” I carefully enunciated all the words. “I don’t know, Alice.” “What do you know?” I snapped. “I told you that you need to talk to Ezra about all of this,” Jack said. “I don’t know why you think I was kidding. We’re almost home now. You can run inside and interrogate him until your heart’s content.” “I will.” I crossed my arms over my chest, as if I had won something. “Yeah. I know you will.” Jack carried the bags inside when we got to his house. Matilda waited by the door for his return, but even she seemed oddly subdued. The entire mood of the house had changed. Everybody waited on edge for Milo to be okay. Jack went upstairs and I started following him. I wanted to check on Milo again, but Ezra appeared at the top of the steps. Something about the way