19 Jack would let me go. “Alice.” “Why aren’t you doing anything?” I yelled at him. “We have to do something!” “We are trying to,” Ezra insisted. “Milo broke his neck and cracked his skull. Even if he lives, he’ll most likely be brain damaged and paralyzed.” “So you’re just going to let him die?” I asked incredulously. “I don’t think that’s what anyone’s saying,” Mae said. I turned to her, trying to understand the conflicted expression on her face. “We can try the hospitals,” Ezra said, watching the slow rise and fall of Milo’s chest. “Or… we can turn him.” “Into a vampire?” I swallowed hard. Jack finally released me and took a step away. When I managed to pull my gaze from Milo, I saw Jack’s eyes filled with tears. “I am so sorry, Alice,” Jack apologized, his voice thick with despair. “His heart is slowing.” Ezra looked at me evenly. “You’re going to have to make a choice, Alice. Quickly.” “If he turns, he’ll live, right?” I asked, surprised I could talk. I found it hard to even breathe. “If we catch it in time,” Ezra said hesitantly. “But it’s not a sure thing. If he’s already too weakened, the turn might push him over the edge.” “You mean instead of saving him, it might kill him?” The room started spinning, and Jack reached out to steady me, tentatively putting his arm around me. “I’m sorry,” Ezra said simply. “I can do it,” Jack offered, knowing it would make me more comfortable with the decision. He moved closer to Milo. “If this is what you want, I’ll do it.” “Do it,” I whispered hoarsely. “Are you sure?” Ezra eyed me seriously. Ezra wanted to gauge my certainty, but that was impossible to measure. I felt somewhere between total shock and blacked out hysteria. Tears streamed
20 down my cheeks, mixing in with the blood I had inadvertently rubbed off of Jack’s chest when he held me to him. Milo laid on the island, barely breathing and his heart slowing every second. If this was going to happen, it had to happen now, and as far as I could tell, it would be his best chance for survival. “Everything will be okay, love.” Mae was at my side and wrapped an arm around me. I wanted to push her off, but I didn’t have the strength. “We’ll see,” I said. Jack rummaged through a drawer, wasting precious time we didn’t have. “What are you doing?” “I need a knife.” He looked back at Mae for help. “There’s one in the kitchen sink,” Mae nodded to it. Jack sifted through the d the sink and grabbed the knife Mae used to cut fruit. He walked over to Milo, holding the knife, and his breathing got more ragged. He was afraid of what he was about to do, and that didn’t make me feel any better. “Do you want to see this?” Ezra asked me, sending a new shiver down my spine. “Yes, of course.” I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else when this happened, no matter how disturbing it might be. If this was where Milo died or turned, I had to be here, with him. Jack glanced over at me, his eyes burning with apology. He looked down at Milo and took a deep breath. With one deft move, he sliced open his wrist and blood trickled out. Pressing his wound up against Milo’s mouth, he didn’t even notice the pain. “Ezra,” Jack shook his head, his voice trembling. “He’s not responding.” “Give it time,” Ezra said. “What if he doesn’t wake up?” Jack started to panic. His cut already began to close, and he used his other hand to pry it open, allowing his blood to flow into Milo’s mouth. “Give it time,” Ezra repeated.
21 My heart raced wildly, and I knew that wouldn’t really help the situation. Whatever was supposed to happen wasn’t happening. Jack was terrified, and Mae tightened her grip around me. Jack gasped sharply. Milo woke up enough to sink his teeth into his arm, but little else seemed to be happening with him. Jack groaned, and I tried to understand what he was feeling, but it was too many things all at once. Milo coughed, but he still didn’t seem to be awake. Jack pulled his arm back before Milo gagged on his blood. “He’s choking!” I yelled, and Mae’s arms stopped me from performing CPR. “No, he’s fine,” Ezra assured me. “He’s okay?” Jack winced and wrapped a towel around his wrist until the blood stopped. “It’s too soon to tell,” Ezra said. “What do you mean it’s too soon?” I struggled against Mae, but she held firm. “If he’s breathing, doesn’t that mean it worked?” “It’s a process that takes a couple days,” Ezra explained, then looked past me at Mae. “I’ll go ready a room for him,” Mae said quietly and let me go. I rushed over to Milo. He coughed and his body shuddered involuntarily. I stroked his hair, damp from the lake and his own blood, and his eyelids trembled but didn’t open. Jack’s blood covered, and I wanted to wipe it away, but I was afraid to. “Alice,” Ezra said and placed his hand on my arm. When I finally looked away from Milo, I was surprised to see we were the only two in the kitchen, along with my brother. I’d been so fixated on watching Milo that I hadn’t noticed Jack leave the room. “What?” I tried to focus on Ezra, but my eyes were sore and blurry from crying. “Why don’t you go rest? I’ll take Milo and clean him up and make sure he’s settled upstairs.” Ezra’s warm brown eyes tried to soothe me, but I laid an
22 arm over Milo possessively. “I can clean him up,” I insisted, but Ezra shook his head. “You can’t carry him, Alice,” Ezra said. “This whole thing has you exhausted and frayed. You need to clear your head a bit, and you can check on Milo later. There’s nothing more you can do for him now.” “But-” I tried to think of a convincing argument to stay with him, but there was none. Except that letting Milo out of my sight seemed impossible Out of nowhere, Mae appeared at my side, and I knew the battle was lost. “Come on, love,” Mae cooed and put her arm around my waist, so she could prying me away from Milo. “He needs to be moved upstairs where he can be more comfortable, and you need a chance to breathe.” Ezra scooped Milo into his arms so he could take him upstairs. If Mae hadn’t mentioned that he would be more comfortable elsewhere, I might’ve fought more to stay with him. But as long as it was better for him, I’d let it happen. I went to the bathroom to change for the second time that night, and I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Milo’s blood covered my pale skin. I took a long hot shower and cried. After I pulled on Mae’s pajamas, I left the bathroom. The panic and fear had died down, leaving an overwhelming sense of guilt and sadness and creeping numbness. It was hard to wrap my mind around everything. One minute, Milo was laughing in the lake. The next he was dying and turning into a vampire. Jack sat on the steps leading upstairs, morose and freshly showered. As soon as he saw me, his eyes filled with terrified sadness. He felt responsible for Milo, and I didn’t even know what happened. In all the worry of trying to figure out how to save him, I’d overlooked how he had gotten that way in the first place. “Alice, I am so sorry,” Jack said, his words rushed and shaky. “What happened, Jack?” I walked stiffly over to him and sat down on
23 the step below him. “We were goofing off.” He shook his head and tears filled his eyes. “He was running on the dock, but it was wet. He slipped and cracked his head… I am so sorry, Alice. I didn’t even think-” “How is he doing?” I interrupted him. I don’t know if I blamed Jack, but I wasn’t ready to ease his guilt. If he and Milo didn’t have a habit of letting things get a little too wild, Milo wouldn’t have been hurt. But then again, if I wasn’t trying to let things get out of hand with me and Jack, I would’ve still been outside, reining them in. Or if I hadn’t invited Milo over tonight. Or if I had never even come over here. Milo never would have been here if it weren’t for me. “Milo’s still unconscious. Ezra said that if he’s lucky, he should be unconscious through most of this.” “If he’s lucky?” I shot him a worried look, and he dropped his eyes. “What does that mean?” “Turning isn’t exactly pleasant.” He rubbed his hands together sheepishly. “So Milo’s in pain? Like how much pain?” My eyes widened, and I hoped I hadn’t made the wrong choice. “He’s completely out right now. He can’t feel anything.” Jack tried to brush me off, and that made me more paranoid. “He’s my brother, Jack! I’m going to worry! This whole stupid thing is my fault!” “None of this is your fault,” Jack corrected me sternly, and his eyes got strangely wounded. “Alice, you can’t blame yourself for this. You had nothing to do with it.” “Don’t tell me what I can or can’t feel!” I tried to stand up, but the weight of the night hit me. I lost my balance, and Jack reached out for me. He pulled me into his arms, and at first, I fought him, just because I felt like fighting something. But his arms felt