Even now, as I swung him up into my arms to take him up the stairs, he tugged at my heart. He wrapped both arms around my neck and snuggled against me with his head rubbing on my chest, purring like a kitten.
“Are you going to let him stay for the night?” the driver asked.
I shouldn’t. I wasn’t. “Yeah.” The word came out rough, and I cleared my throat. “Might as well. It’s almost light out anyway. I’ll let him sleep it off, then have a talk with him.”
He nodded, looking relieved. “Have him call me tomorrow when he’s awake so I can pick him up.”
“Fine.”
I moved to enter the apartment, but he touched my shoulder, and I turned back to him. “What is it?”
“Don’t think I made this decision very lightly.” His eyes were troubled as he watched Ashton in my arms. “I circled the block four times before I told myself that if you meant him any harm, you would’ve taken him up on all the other times he came on to you.”
“I’m practically a stranger.”
“One who didn’t take advantage of his many vulnerable states over the past month.” He squeezed my shoulder. “Please, handle him with care. Life hasn’t been too kind to him of late, and he’s been a little misguided. Even worse than usual.”
I frowned down at the bundle in my arms and back at the driver. “What do you mean?”
He shook his head and walked to the stairs. “If you’re as important as he makes you out to be, then he’ll tell you.”
I cursed beneath my breath. I had no time to figure out riddles. Why the hell had he said anything if he was only going to leave me curious?
Once inside my apartment, I closed the door and stared at the guy in my arms. His lips parted, and he snored. What to do with him? I could sneak him back downstairs to his driver and let the man handle it. Ashton was his responsibility, not mine. Except now I felt responsible for him being drunk because he might’ve misinterpreted my words when I told him I didn’t want him.
I did want him. I just shouldn’t.
The choices as to where he’d sleep were limited. My apartment was an open flat space above the coffee shop, which was why it had been so ideal.
After the tragedy, I’d scraped together my entire life savings, quit my job, and moved here to Battersea close to my best friend. I’d invested everything I had into this business with Phillip. We’d gotten a loan and opened Coffee Crave. Until the coffee shop started to spin a true profit, I made do with the little I had.
I took him over to my bed and laid him down. Apparently, that was enough to wake him up. He opened his eyes but said nothing.
“Why did you get drunk, Ashton?” I asked.
“Y-you said you didn’t want me.” His body went limp as I removed his shoes. “You made me sad. Nobody ever wants me, and I thought the way you looked at me meant you saw me differently.”
His words cracked open the shell covering my heart. His voice was less than steady, and he slurred, but there was no mistaking the sorrow. I’d hurt him tonight even more than I’d intended to.
“I lied,” I said, avoiding his eyes. “I lied that I didn’t want you. Couldn’t you feel how much I did while we were on the dance floor? I wanted so badly to take you somewhere and fuck you out of my system. But it won’t be so easy to do that, will it?”
“God, I hope not,” he murmured. “I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind. Why don’t you want to be my Daddy?”
Instead of responding, I rose to my feet and pulled him to his. He sagged against me, but I wasn’t finished with him yet. I walked him over to the bathroom, where I helped him to brush his teeth. When he gagged, spewing his guts, I held him steady, pushing his hair back so it didn’t get in the way.
I discarded the toothbrush and switched to the mouthwash. His breath stank from the alcohol. When he mumbled that he needed to pee, I had him sit on the toilet while I washed out the sink, but he ended up pissing on the floor. That only made him cry, blubbering that he was sorry.
He was a fucking mess, and it scared me. It brought back memories that left me sweaty and nauseous.
I eventually got him back into bed, wearing nothing. His shorts were too soiled, and he kept tugging at the harness so much I feared he’d strangle himself with it. Accidentally, of course. By the time I went to my drawer to find him a T-shirt, he’d wormed his way beneath the covers tucked under his chin and was snoring.
At the foot of the bed, I stood watching this boy, who I couldn’t accept as mine. No matter what my heart and body said. He looked so innocent and at peace in sleep. He was so beautiful, but I sensed his driver was right. This boy had layers, but how far did I truly want to peel them back?
And what if I let him into my life? If I were to become his Daddy and he my boy, would he be able to live by my rules when I had no intention of compromising on them?
Chapter Six
Ashton
Waking up in a strange bed was nothing out of the ordinary for me, but somehow this time things felt different as I opened my eyes. I squinted at the light that hit my pupils, frowning at the unfamiliar blinds that were only half-drawn. The bright sunlight streamed beneath the screen and bathed the bed in warmth.
I glanced around, taking in the small space of the bedroom, trying to place where I was. Across from the bedroom area, I could make out the semblance of a living room area with a television mounted on the wall and only one long sofa. The two walls on either side of the bedroom made it difficult for me to see anything else, but wherever I was, the space was small and nothing at all like I was used to.
My focus returned to the bedroom as I tried to catalog everything to get a clue as to where I was. Apart from the queen-size bed and the nightstand, it held a small closet with the door hanging half-open. A dresser, with a set of keys, a cell phone, and a wallet, took up the rest of the space.
I pulled off the bedcovers and rose to my feet, immediately pausing from the dip and roil in my belly. I held my hands out to steady myself and prevent a tumble to the floor. I must’ve been hammered last night to…
Oh, god, no.
The memories returned with the force of a sucker punch. I fell back onto the bed. Callum and the club. Giving up that he’d ever show up, then dancing with him, having him jerk me off on the dance floor before him leaving me alone.
What the hell had happened after?
“Oh, god,” I groaned, placing my aching head in my hands. I couldn’t recall everything else that had happened, except for me causing such an uproar in the club Rue had promised to take me to Callum.
Why was I still here? Had I been sober, I’d never have asked Rue to bring me here. The way he’d run out on me at the club, I’d never expected to see him ever again, let alone to let me in.
Yet here I was. In his bed. Alone. At least that part didn’t come as a surprise.
But hey, I was completely naked. Had that been before or after I dropped in on him? My ass didn’t feel like I’d had a dick up there last night. Now if only I could decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
“How do you feel?”
My head snapped up at the unexpected voice. Really, I should’ve known he’d show up at some point, but I’d been too preoccupied trying to recall what had happened.