The show stays paused as we all sit around the living room, devouring our pints of ice cream. After hesitating too many times to count, I finally ask, “So, the party tomorrow night. What kind of guys are coming?”
“Just some guys from the college. You’ve probably seen them around. Marty, Owen, and Graham just came back after summer break.”
“They have an apartment this year, instead of living in the dorms,” Remee points out.
Zara rolls her eyes. “That will be the party spot this year, then.”
Remee stretches out her legs, leaning back on the arm of the couch. “The guys are cool. They’re fun to hang out with even though—”
“They’re idiots?” Zara snorts.
Serena laughs, licking the ice cream from her spoon. “All guys are idiots. The young ones, anyway. The older guys have their shit together.”
“You’ll like them,” Remee assures me. “And they’re bringing some friends.”
Serena studies me quietly for a moment, until I look away from her scrutiny. “Are you trying to meet someone, Kelly?”
“I’m not…I don’t know much about dating, but I’d like to try. You know, to find a guy I like.”
A smile bursts across Serena’s face. “I know lots of guys I could set you up with! The only reason I didn’t offer before was because I know you just broke off an engagement and I figured you weren’t ready.” She waves her hand. “These two never let me set them up. I’m so excited. Please say yes.”
“Serena! Don’t push her,” Zara scolds before turning to me. “Are you sure you’re ready to date again? I’m not judging. It’s just not always a great idea to rush into it after a heartbreak. It can lead to some bad decisions.”
“Getting laid is never a bad decision,” Serena says. “Don’t get in her head.”
I’m quiet as they go back and forth, arguing over whether an appropriate amount of time has passed for me to date, until Remee interrupts them.
“Maybe if you two shut up, we can find out what Kelly wants.”
All eyes are on me.
“Um…I don’t know exactly. I don’t have a lot of…experience with dating.” Zara listens as I regard her. “But I’m not heartbroken. I never was. The engagement was more of an arranged thing. Something my parents wanted. I never loved him. It was just expected of me.”
“Wow,” Zara says. “That’s awful. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. It’s over and I’m relieved.”
“And now you want to meet some guys,” Serena adds with a nod.
Remee grins at me. “We can definitely help with that. It depends on what you’re looking for, though.”
“Looking for?”
“Are you dating to find love or a husband or just mess around?” she clarifies.
“Oh.” I stare into the pint of ice cream, running my spoon around the bottom as I answer. “Well, I’d like to get my vagina licked.”
When I look up, they’re wearing identical smiles like I said something funny. Or was it ridiculous?
Serena leans over and hugs me. “You are my favorite person tonight. That’s the most honest answer I’ve ever heard. There’s nothing wrong with just wanting some orgasms. I know more than one guy who would be all over your pretty ass.”
I realize I’m going to have to tell them everything. God, this is awkward. “I’ve never really done that before.”
“Done what?” Remee asks. “Had a guy go down on you?”
“That…or um…sex, you know, in general.”
The sudden silence presses in around me, heating my face, and I don’t dare look up at any of them. I’m just going to play with my spoon and pretend my ice cream is the most fascinating thing I’ve seen.
Zara’s voice is soft as she says, “You’re a virgin?”
My teeth scrape my lower lip, and I nod.
“Are you waiting for marriage?” Zara asks. “There’s nothing wrong with that. Or waiting for any reason.”
“No, I just didn’t want to sleep with Stanley. It wasn’t for any moral reason.”
“I wouldn’t want to give it up to anyone named Stanley either,” Serena quips.
Silence resumes for a few moments until Remee speaks up. “That does change things. You don’t want to let just anyone take your virginity. You only lose it once. It should be someone you love.”
“Oh bullshit!” Zara argues. My eyes widen. She’s the last one I expected to disagree with such a statement. “First of all, sleeping with a guy for the first time doesn’t mean he’s taking anything. You aren’t losing anything to him. That’s some patriarchal, misogynistic nonsense. Society putting value on what they consider a woman’s purity is as wrong as it gets. You’ll be the same person with the same worth after you have sex. You just have to make sure you’re attracted to the guy, you’re protected, and that it’s what you really want to do.”
Serena nods in agreement. “For once, I agree with one of your feminist rants.” She holds up a hand and regards me. “But you do want to find the right guy and the right penis. Someone who isn’t a jerk and will take his time.”
“The right penis?”
“Oh yeah. My first one was way too big. You need a practice penis.”
Giggles fill the room, and I feel the awkwardness drain away.
“A warm up willy?” Remee says, giggling.
“I definitely want to get to know someone and like him first. Not just, you know, do it to get it over with.”
“Good.” Zara sits back and smiles at Serena. “We’ll help you meet guys until you find one you want.”
“The perfect starter dick,” Serena says.
The insistent beep of my phone shakes me from sleep and I’m shocked to see how late I’ve slept in on Saturday morning. I’ve gotten used to early shifts at the bakery, but late night girl talk and weed smashed my sleeping pattern.
Why do I have fifteen text messages before ten a.m.? Someone has left voicemails as well. Dread floods through me when I see the missed calls and texts are from my parents. A few from my father and more from my mother. Whatever they want can’t be good and I’m not going to read them now. I have to get moving to make it to the first Adulting Club meeting.
I’m a little nervous when I first get there but it’s a small group and everyone is great. We talk a little while we wait for the instructor to show up. I hadn’t bothered to see who was running the group, and my stomach flips when my economics teacher walks in and calls out for all of us to join him.
Mr. Aldrich. Good god, the man is hot. I wonder how old he is?
Don’t even think about it, Kelly. He’s gorgeous and older, and your teacher for fuck’s sake. I’m not going to embarrass myself by getting a crush on a teacher like a middle school student. That smile, though. Whew.
Somehow, I manage to keep from embarrassing myself throughout the meeting and it’s pretty fun. I’m glad I joined.
My good mood sours when I get home and remember my parents have been trying to get in touch with me. I’ve just opened the first text when someone bangs on the front door hard enough to rattle the walls. My feet catch in the rug when I leap off the couch, and I tumble to the floor. Ignoring the ache in my tailbone, I scramble to my feet.