CHAPTER 1
Everything hurt.
Eden clenched her teeth as the ache in her gut sharpened to a knifepoint. One more minute, she promised herself as the pains worsened. She grabbed the edge of her closet door and used it to keep herself standing.
A week ago, Az had found out the reason she was sick was that she wasn’t taking out Siders. That without using her strange ability to kill the Siders and absorb their Touch, she would turn to ash. And now Az is gone, she thought. And you’re still crumbling from the inside out.
A stubborn tear dripped down her cheek and hung from her chin. When it dropped and soaked into her sleeve, the ring of gray residue left behind proved to her how badly she needed to take out a Sider.
Her whole body seized with pain. “It’ll stop,” she croaked, knowing the worst part was coming. She wrung the bottom of her shirt, fighting not to cry out. The ache spread. A few seconds and it’ll be—
Gone. Eden let loose a sigh so full of relief it trailed off into a whimper. Exhaustion and fading adrenaline buzzed through her brain.
After a few moments, she figured this bout was over. On wobbling legs, she moved around the nightstand and parted the thick curtains hanging in front of her window. From what she could see, the alley to Milton’s was nearly impassable with drifts of ice and snow. They hadn’t been going out to the coffee shop anyway, since Jarrod had quit his job there. With both the Bound and the Fallen angels after them now, a job was too dangerous. Yet every day they stayed in their apartment, the danger still grew. The Bound would find them. Slaughter them, if they could. They had to move—she, Jarrod, and Sullivan had to run.
“Soon. Today,” Eden promised, just as she had yesterday. Her exhale clouded the glass.
She smeared the fog as she spun away. Things will seem better after coffee, she thought, heading out of her room toward the kitchen. At least coffee would warm her bones, help her think. Halfway across the living room, she heard a soft tap from the apartment door.
Eden stopped dead.
They’re already here, she thought. It’s too late. She stared at the door.
The hallway stayed silent. Great, now I’m hearing things. Even as she moved again toward the kitchen, three gentle taps sounded from the door. Eden changed direction, creeping closer. Obviously, whoever was knocking had gotten in the building’s security door. The weak chain lock and dead bolt on their own door were enough to keep out a mortal looking for Touch, or a Sider searching for Eden, but if it was an angel. . . . She thought about yelling for Jarrod, but then whoever was outside would hear her.
As she took a step toward Jarrod’s room, a voice called. “Eden. It’s Gabriel.”
Eden sagged. The last time she’d seen Gabriel, he’d shown up cradling a blood-soaked and blue-lipped Sullivan, set her down on the couch, and left without a word. A week ago. His appearance had been how she’d known that Az was really gone. Since that night, there hadn’t been a word from him. And Az would never be allowed to come back to her.
It took a few seconds before she collected herself enough to click the dead bolt. She undid the chain and swung open the door. Beyond it, Gabriel shifted uncomfortably, staring at his shoes. Part of her was surprised to find it really was him out there. Snow had melted into a puddle around him, enough that she wondered how long he’d been out there before he knocked. Had he been waiting to sense her thoughts leaving her bedroom?
His hazel eyes, dead and dull, skirted over her face before dropping again to the floor. With his head dipped forward, the hood of his jacket obscured his blond curls and his high cheekbones. There was no easy smile to set her at ease. She missed the old Gabe.
Gabriel teased the edge of the puddle with his shoe, spreading it across the worn concrete floor. His gaze lifted and slipped slowly over her shoulder to the living room beyond. “Is Jarrod here?” he asked.
Eden blinked in surprise. “Is Jarrod here? That’s all you can think of to say?”
“I—” His voice broke.
Eden hesitated, for the first time wondering if it was guilt that had kept him away, and what had brought him now. It was Gabe who’d taken her life. Gabe who now stood before her, Bound again. And the Bound were her enemies. Her palms grew slick. It’s Gabe, her brain insisted. Still, she couldn’t help the urge to back away from him.
His irises darkened from hazel to blood red. “Not all of us want to be your enemy, Eden,” he said, his voice cold. “I am begging you not to make this harder on me than it needs to be.”
A flush—embarrassment more than anger—burned her cheeks. Whether he meant to or not, he’d read her mind and heard the truth.
Shame wrenched his voice into something hollow and haunted. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I try to stay out, but you can’t help what you feel and I can’t help hearing the broadcast.”
She couldn’t stop concentrating on his hands. The same hands that had held her under the waves. She had no memory of her actual death, though it wasn’t easy to shake away the gruesome imaginings. “It’s . . . okay,” she offered.
“No, it’s not.” Gabriel subtly moved his hands behind his back. “Pathless or not, I took your life. I made a terrible error in judgment.”
She stared at him. His words sounded like a recording, something memorized and spat back.
“Can I come in?” he asked. Only when she nodded did Gabriel slink past her into the apartment, as if it was holy ground and he didn’t belong. He stopped in the middle of the room, his back to her. “I’m so sorry about Az.”
The words hit her like a sucker punch. “Some of your things are still here,” she said instead of responding. “I’m holding on to his until—well—if you want yours . . .” She knew how silly it sounded, like Az would come back from Upstairs to claim a few pairs of jeans and some shirts.
As long as Gabriel had been Fallen, and she tied to him, the Siders Eden took out would have ended up Downstairs. Thinking that meant Luke would gain followers, she’d stopped sending Siders on. That’s when she got sick. To save her, Az had done what he’d once considered unthinkable—used his wings to go back Upstairs, become Bound again to clear Gabriel’s name. Now they knew more. The Siders Eden sent on weren’t harmless. They were a poison, killing souls, and now saving herself meant unleashing a plague Upstairs. Everything Az sacrificed had been for nothing. All she had left were his things. His sweatshirt smelled like him, crisp and clean and a little like the air when snow’s about to fall.
Gabriel’s shoulders slumped. “Eden.”
“It’s worse, you know,” she said quietly as she shut the door. “Than when I thought he was dead.” She stared at the back of Gabriel’s puffy parka. The hood dropped from his head. “We were supposed to be together, and now he’s just missing. And there’s this hole, and I can’t seem to . . . I don’t . . . ” She trailed off, locking her arms around herself. “I need him.” She didn’t care how stupid it sounded. “Tell me where to find him. How to get to him.”
“I can’t.”
“You have seen him, though?” She steeled herself. Now that he was Bound again, Gabe couldn’t lie. There’d be no sugarcoating. “Is he okay?”