I only had to wait a second before he replied, my panic attack slipping away as my body relaxed.
Jensen: Sure thing, babe. Be there in a few.
I leaned against the tree and scrolled through Facebook until the crunching of tires made me look up to see the Camaro pull over on the side of the road.
Jensen rolled the window down and jerked his head towards the passenger seat, and I silently walked around the car and climbed in, waiting for him to speak.
He drove for a minute or two before glancing over at me.
“What did you fight about, and where is he?”
I laced my fingers together on my lap with a sigh.
“Lukas and other stuff. He manhandled me and went to hit me, so I wasn’t about to get back in his car. He took off towards home.”
He looked sad for a moment as his voice turned gentle, soothing me slightly.
“Babe, trust me when I say he’d never actually hurt you. He just likes to scare people into doing as they’re told.”
“I don’t care if he physically hurts me or not, I’m not some lapdog that sits when I’m told. He doesn’t own me, and the sooner he figures that out, the better off he’ll be,” I bit out without looking at him, my hands fisting into balls.
“Is the shit with Lukas really that bad? Why can’t you just tell him to shut him up?”
My gaze finally slid over to him, and I hesitated before speaking.
“It’s fucking personal, so no, I won’t tell him shit.”
He was quiet for a while, making me sigh.
This conversation was going fucking nowhere.
“Can I stay with you tonight?”
“Like, on my couch?” he asked slowly, his pretty blue eyes glancing at me with uncertainty from behind his chocolate fridge.
I shrugged. “I don’t care where, I just don’t want to be near Caden. He’s been so nice since I moved in, but ever since he got back from his dad’s, he’s been a moody asshole.”
“Yeah, alright. But on one condition?”
“What’s that?”
“You talk to me. Doesn’t have to be everything, but I just need something. I can see everything in your mind is still hurting you, and I think opening up a little might ease your mind slightly,” he said softly, making me meet his gaze again.
My chest tightened with anxiety, telling me I was probably going to have a fucking panic attack after all.
He slowly took my hand, giving me an understanding smile.
“Not right now, later. First, I think we need a beer.”
“Caden’s pissed that you’re staying here,” Jensen stated later that night as he glanced up from his phone, making me snort from my spot on the couch.
“Good. Hope his shitty mood keeps him awake all fucking night, too.”
He chuckled, stretching out on the couch and putting his phone back in his pocket, glancing over at me again and catching me checking out his fucking abs where his shirt had ridden up.
He smirked, amusement in his voice. “See something you like, babe?”
I snapped out of it, giving him the middle finger and lying back on my part of the couch to sip my beer, hoping my face wasn’t too red.
When his gaze remained on me, I looked back at him with irritation.
“What?”
“We’ve had a few beers now, so it’s time you start talking, don’t you think?”
I hesitated before sitting up, wrapping my arms around my legs to rest my chin on my knees.
I pushed the panic down, convincing myself I could trust him, despite not wanting to.
Doubt nagged at me, but Jensen wouldn’t hurt me.
I felt it deep in my bones that he had my back, even if the others didn’t.
“Where do I start then? I don’t think I can talk about all of it, and…”
“Hey, just start wherever you want. I won’t make you talk about things you really don’t wanna talk about, okay? I just need you to open up a little bit.”
His blue eyes were gentle, and it gave me the courage to nod, deciding to confide in him.
“Lukas and I were best friends since the first day at preschool. We lived in each other’s pockets from day one, but shit got complicated at the end of middle school. He got weird around me and seemed to find excuses to bail on our plans and shit. We slowly became more distant, until the one time I needed him the most and he completely turned his back on me.”
Hot tears stung my eyes, but I took a deep breath and looked him right in the eye, ignoring my voice as it cracked with emotion.
“My dad’s always getting into debt with people a lot richer and more important than he ever was. He lost a bet to some rich guy at one of his parties a few years after we lost basically all of our money, and we had heaps. He tried to win the money back at poker but lost all over again. He was already in debt to this guy and was well over his head before that night, so Max threw me under the bus to save himself like he has many times before. This time was different though. I’ll never forgive my dad for it, and when he dies, he’ll be lucky if I show up to spit on his fucking grave.”
I knew I was crying and probably looked a mess.
All I wanted was to reach for him, but at the same time, I couldn’t bear the thought of having someone touching me.
I closed my eyes and took a shaky breath to continue, the panic and anxiety clawing at my insides, threatening to tear me apart.
“The creep made a bargain with Max that all his debts to him would be cleared if he gave me to him for the night.”
Jensen’s body stiffened, and he went to reach for my hand but stopped last minute when I flinched back as if it were a snake.
“Fuck, Rory…”
Sobs wracked my body as I curled into myself, as if to protect what was left of me, but I kept speaking from behind my shield.
“Dad knew he’d rape me. He knew how horrible the man was, but he still tossed me at him because he only gives a shit about himself. Lukas came over the same night, and I saw him at my fucking bedroom window before he ran away. He didn’t even call for help, he just…,” I choked out before completely breaking down at that memory.
That always hurt more than the memory of the rape.
Lukas had fucking abandoned me.
When I didn’t flinch back as Jensen took my hand, he gently hauled me into his lap and cradled me against his chest, hiding my face in his shirt to let me cry it out.
I didn’t know why I’d told him so much of the truth, considering I was going to just work around the worst of it to shut him up.
I’d needed to tell him though, and I was relieved to finally talk about it as some of my demons went silent inside me.
I trusted him.
“He never told you why he didn’t help you? Or why he went to a different high school?” he finally asked, making me sniff and look up at him through my broken blue eyes.
“I basically didn’t see him again until I came to your school. It’s too late now, and I don’t want to hear his excuses. He gutted me that night, and I won’t ever forgive him for it. He has no idea how bad it was.”
“Who knows about this? Have you ever spoken to a counsellor or…”
“No, and I don’t want anyone else to know,” I warned, watching his eyes as shame and regret washed through him before he covered it up and gave me a small smile, making me forget about it.