Unsurprisingly, the four of us Wildflowers became inseparable, closer than ever. And although smiles from Lukas were still rare, whenever they surfaced, they were genuine. As it turns out, Lukas White is pretty funny.
Who knew?
But even though so much happened this spring, a crucial change has yet to happen. One I still struggle with on a daily basis.
Because the night of the ceremony, when we held Lukas in our arms as he cried, the heavens split wide open to proclaim in excruciating clarity what I already knew, but refused to accept: my feelings for him had no right to exist.
It was no longer of consequence if I had feelings for Lukas, or if he had feelings for me, or for Adam.
These questions were senseless and irrelevant and needed to be banned from my mind. All my feelings needed to be pulverized until they were no more, unable to threaten the fragile threads weaving the four of us together.
My head was completely on board with this plan, knowing the inescapable damage that could be done otherwise.
My heart?
Well, what can I say?
It’s still an asshole.
Which is exactly why I said yes when I was asked by Tommy Ledbetter if I’d like to go out with him to see a new rom-com this weekend. I needed the distraction. Plus, I really, really wanted to go to a movie. Lame, but true. We don’t get out much.
Granted, the acceptance of his invitation was not so much mine as Genny’s, since she was called upon to speak in my place. I just stood in the cereal aisle of the grocery store dumbstruck and unable to form a coherent answer. After Tommy left with the house phone number in his pocket and a smile on his face, Genny informed me the boy had been hopelessly vying for my attention at school on a daily basis. Something I may have seen, had I been, you know, “looking up.” Yes, I’d definitely improved, but to expect a complete change overnight was insane.
And…Tommy Ledbetter?
I crinkle my nose in thought.
I mean, I guess he looks familiar. Maybe?
The question of his existence is still plaguing me when Genny speaks, yanking me into the present. Finishing an upstroke, she turns to me, her entire face splattered with white paint.
“Big date tonight. Finally a night out for all of us,” she says, then wipes her cheek and grimaces. As much as I would like to laugh, I’m sure my appearance is much worse.
“Yeah,” I dazedly respond. “Awesome.”
I vaguely remember asking Mrs. Rodriguez if I could go to the movie with Tommy, and she approved. Right before she mandated that the other Wildflowers must accompany me on my…“date.”
Honestly, it’s all such an awkward blur.
But I’m okay with it. After my last questionable outing, I actually welcome having those I trust on standby.
“Good,” Genny affirms, “because you have like, an hour to get dressed. The movie is at six thirty.”
I launch myself off the ground. “No way! You’re kidding, right? It’s tonight?”
Her expression is disturbingly content. “No.”
“No, you’re not kidding, or no, it’s not tonight?” I inquire, my tone half-frustrated, half-freaked the hell out.
Genny makes a poor attempt to hide her smile. “No, I’m not kidding. Yes, the movie is tonight, and Tommy called about an hour ago to confirm.” Her mouth curves downward. “I guess I forgot to tell you.”
“Oh my God!” I whirl around, paintbrush still in hand, and start running in the direction of the front door. Just as my canvas shoes hit the wooden deck, Lukas and Adam emerge from the house, and struck by the sight of Lukas dressed and ready for my date, my brain shuts completely down. Along with my coordination. And given I’m sprinting full speed, my legs buckle, my feet misstep, and before I know it, my body is sprawled out on the deck, paintbrush still in hand.
Face, meet wood.
Nice, Chloe. Real nice.
“Oh my God. Chloe, are you okay?” I recognize Adam’s voice, though it’s muffled by suppressed laughter.
I inhale despite my mortification, then set my chin on the plank beneath me, immediately greeted by a pair of black boots and the frayed hem of boot-cut jeans. I close my eyes, internally cringe, and release my breath. I open my eyes just in time to see Lukas White grinning down at me.
His inky hair is spiked every which way, his black T-shirt stretched across his massive chest, and that stupid dimple is winking at me as he tries not to laugh. Slowly, he crouches in my line of vision, his eyes twinkling with amusement. He extends his hand, but before I can take him up on his offer to help me up, he reaches forward and gently pinches a stray strand of my hair between his fingers to tuck it behind my ear with deliberate care.
The gesture is so tender, and it makes me remember how sweet he was with the wildflower during the ceremony.
He’s such a paradox. There is so much gentleness within him, but he hides it away.
My heart flutters in my chest, and I silently curse its action.
I place my closed fists on the wood, but before I can press myself up, two hands curl around both my biceps and easily lift me off the deck. Once I’m on my feet, the familiar scent of his soap wafts around me.
He angles his head in concern. “You okay?”
I nod. “Yeah. I just…” I glance at the brush in my hand. “I was painting.”
Lukas looks behind me at Genny, whose heinous cackles are still echoing in the air, then back to me. “I thought you and Genny were painting the fence, not the deck.” He grins shamelessly, and the sight steals my breath. “Interesting technique.”
I avert my eyes and meet Adam’s over Lukas’s shoulder. No longer concerned for my well-being, he’s given his laughter free rein. I glare at him, privately noting that I very much approve of his loose white button-down/black skinny jeans tucked into combat boots combo, then redirect my gaze to Lukas. “I was painting the fence, until Genny reminded me that we’re going to the movies tonight.” I shift my weight to my other foot then lie. “I was so excited, I just tripped.”
Lukas’s smile widens. “Date night with Timmy?”
“Timmy!”
Adam shouts the name in perfect Timmy Burch pitch as he moves to stand next to Lukas, both with boyish grins lighting up their faces. I’ve never really understood South Park.
Narrowing my eyes, I angle my head in their direction. “It’s Tommy.”
“Timmy!” Adam cries again, then I’m forced to watch as both of them break into an extremely immature fit of the giggles.
Even Genny joins in as she walks up behind me. “You’re all ridiculous,” she scoffs. And of course, I’m not taken the least bit seriously. Not that I can blame them. I’m sure the half-grin on my face negates any and all threat.
Adam reaches for the paintbrush still in my grasp. “And you, my dear, are a mess.” With his free hand, he drags his thumb along my chin and holds the brush in front of my face.. He redirects his gaze at Genny and adds, “You’re even worse. We’ll clean up out here—you two clean up in the house.”
I nod, then take off again, swinging the door open and flying inside with Genny on my heels.
Thirty minutes later, we’re both showered and paint-free. Genny’s wearing an old Pink Floyd concert tee, bell-bottom jeans that practically cover her Chucks, and a wallet tucked into her back pocket with a long chain hooked onto her front belt loop.