Equal parts pride and panic drive my erratic heartbeat. Sally ceases her movement to watch both of us while I stand with the stupid stick gripped so tightly in my hand it tremors.
The living room is silent, save for our breathing.
Genny’s brow lifts into two perfectly formed arches, and then…she smiles. No, she beams. A full-on, blinding grin. She makes no move toward the stick, instead bucking the rules and stating without permission, “So, my lioness awakens.”
I try to fight it, but can’t help it—I grin back in her direction. Together we take our seats, no words necessary. Graciously, I hand the Speaking Stick back to Sally, who lovingly strokes its feathers on her way back to her chair.
From then on, the session proceeds pretty typically. Here are some highlights.
Sally to Adam: “Have you attempted to make contact with your family?”
Adam: “Hell no.”
Sally shares a heartfelt lecture with regards to the importance of closure.
Sally to Genny: “When was the last time you used?”
Genny: “Heroin? Not since entering Sacred Heart over two years ago.”
Sally: “Your question concerns me. Is there another drug you struggle with?”
Genny: “No. Well…I did down an entire six-pack about half an hour ago in preparation for this session. Since it was purely strategic, I don’t think it counts as an addiction.”
Me: *giggles*
Sally: “Well, six is better than the twelve you downed last week. I must be making progress.” *grins as she writes*
It’s not until Lukas’s turn that I actually start paying attention.
“Lukas.” Sally turns her full attention to him, placing her pen gently on top of her notebook. I recognize the gesture. It’s her silent illustration that he can speak without fear of being recorded. “Would you like to discuss the events that led you to Sacred Heart?”
Lukas’s dark brows slant, and he grips the back of his neck, focusing on his well-worn boots as he speaks. “Not here.”
We try (and fail) to hide our surprise. In all our sessions, he’s never indicated any possibility of opening up about his past. Genny’s eyes find mine, and she smiles, most likely planning the intricate details of the Wildflowers ceremony as Sally speaks.
“We can speak privately in my office, if you like?”
He shakes his head. “No.”
Sally smiles gently, as she has done with all of us when we haven’t felt ready to talk. I respect her ability to look genuine and not hurt when we won’t open up. She clears her throat and offers softly, “Well, whenever you’re ready.” Her eyes linger on him momentarily before she addresses the group.
“Thank you for finding the courage to share with me some pieces of yourselves. I know it’s daunting, and I know you don’t know me, but with each session I grow closer to knowing and truly understanding each of you. We can travel this road together, if you’ll have me on your journeys. I can and would very much like to help, but only when and if you find it within yourselves to trust me. I know it’s not easy, but I’m here for you. Always.”
I offer her a shy smile in thanks as we all rise to our feet. She returns it with her own before exiting the living room.
Genny has no problem with retaking control of the group. “Wildflowers.” She dips her head in reverence, and it’s all I can do not to laugh. “The ceremony shall commence in T-minus thirty minutes.”
As one, our eyes flit to a well-known key ring suddenly sprung from her pocket, dangling from the tips of her fingers. “Mrs. Rodriguez said we could borrow the truck until eight.”
And just like that, in a ’65 Chevy in need of massive repair, we’re gone.
9
Genny dumps the contents of her backpack onto the grass in front of us, and we gawk openly.
“You were not kidding about the s’mores,” I say through laughter.
When a Toblerone lands on the heap of graham crackers and marshmallows, my head jerks upward in question. Genny answers with a shrug. “It’s the best I could do. Mrs. Rodriguez, with her five food groups, clearly missed the memo about a sixth having been mandated by youth everywhere. Or maybe not, since I found her chocolate stash a couple of months ago.”
I gasp, appalled. “You’ve been holding out on us.”
She waggles her eyebrows, then in Limp Bizkit “Nookie” style offers her response. “I did it all for the nougat.”
We allow her to go on for the full chorus, but when she brings her hands to her mouth to begin an impromptu and completely irrelevant beatbox session, I cut her off with a stern shake of my head. “No. Stop it.”
She stops, but the distant look in her eyes tells me she’s still reciting lines in her head. My deadpan stare remains on her until she finally gives up. “Fine,” she growls.
“Ceremony?” I prompt, crossing my arms over my chest. “We only have an hour, Limp.”
I rub my upper arms, chilled by the night air. While my gloves may provide some warmth to my hands and forearms, I’m only wearing a tank top. In the moment, I wasn’t really concerned with grabbing anything warmer, but now with goosebumps rippling over my skin, I realize my hasty mistake. My lower body is golden, though. Fleece pajama pants are the best invention ever, even if they do have pickles topped with Santa hats all over them.
Don’t ask. I picked them out at a second-hand store. They called to me and I took pity on them.
Genny, however, is expertly shielded from the chilly spring night with a cardigan. Gray kittens cover every single inch of fabric, all in different positions. Some even paw at balls of yarn.
I squint at the painful sight and frown. It’s quite tragic.
Tearing my gaze from her, I look around at the other Wildflowers to realize it’s not only Genny who’s dressed for the elements. Adam is wearing an extremely worn bomber jacket and Lukas is donning a thick, black hoodie that looks rather cozy and enticing. Or maybe that’s just him.
I exhale in defeat. So, I’m the only underdressed idiot in the bunch. Awesome. Teeth chattering, I look to Genny again and repeat, “Seriously, Genny. Ceremony. Right meow. Some of us are freezing out here.”
Genny smiles graciously, then motions to her cardigan before offering me a well-deserved deathblow.
“My Gee-Gee made me this.” She pauses. “Before she died.” And as if that wasn’t dramatic enough, she throws in, “Leaving me with no kin.”
Knife. In. My. Heart.
I’m such an asshole.
My mouth flies open, ready to spew an apology, but she cuts me off with an impish grin. “I happen to think it’s purrrrrrfect for tonight.”
Our chuckles ring through the air, then she clasps her hands together and her expression solidifies into one of respect, ready to start the ceremony.
“So, first, introductions are to be made.”
Adam and I grin at each other, then watch Genny as she kneels down and unzips the front zipper on her backpack to extract a flashlight. Lukas looks on silently, but his eyes are lit with curiosity. I begin to bounce from one foot to the other in attempt to keep warm, rubbing my biceps.
Genny rises, flicks the light on, and signals with a jerk of her head. “This way.” Single file, we follow her through the long blades of grass. Interspersed are several patches of light purple and pink wildflowers. I try not to step on them as we walk.