We can all say many things about James. Yes, he fucked up. Yes, he could have helped us a lot sooner. But I can't help thinking that, really, he swooped in when we needed it most, at the turning point in our lives when we need to make decisions about our futures.
Cole is off to Colton U to be their next star running back. As far as I know, Hadley is following right behind. Remi and Ace both have plans for their future, although I'm fairly sure college isn't part of Ace's. He tolerates school at best, so there's no way he's doing another four years of full-time education, no matter how many times Remi might try to convince him. Me, on the other hand… I've got a pile of application forms sitting on my desk that I really need to send. I filled them all out last year, but the thought of actually mailing them terrifies me, for some reason.
We've just found our feet in the Bay, and here we are already planning our futures away from it. I look at the envelopes just sitting there as I walk toward the window and stare out.
A knock sounds out, but I don't say anything—Cole will walk in regardless. And, two seconds later, he does. I don't turn around, but the quiet creak of the bed tells me what he's doing behind me.
"Excited to go back?" he asks, making my brows pull together. I'm not sure I've ever heard him sound excited to go to school, but there's definitely something lighter in his tone than usual.
"Something like that," I mutter, turning around and finding exactly what I expect, my twin brother making himself at home on my bed with his hands behind his head. "Get your fucking shoes off," I bark, knocking his feet off the sheets.
"Jesus, who's twisted your panties?"
"No one," I grunt, dropping down into the chair. I rest my elbows on my knees and drop my head.
"Ah, I see. Missing your girl?"
"I'm not sure I like you this happy, you know."
He chuckles, which does nothing for my irritation.
"Go and cheer someone else up. I'm not in the mood."
"Maybe not, but I'm meeting Hadley before school, and I have it on good authority that Ken—"
"Let's go," I bark, pushing from the chair and stalking toward the door. "You coming or what?" I ask when he makes no move to follow.
"Yeah, I'm with you." I look back over my shoulder as he climbs from my bed. His eyes roam my room for a beat before landing on the pile of applications. "You know you actually need to send these to be accepted, right?"
"Fuck off," I grunt, walking out to the hallway, assuming he'll follow.
"You know," he says as he joins me in my car. "I never thought I'd be the one with a plan for the future while you were fumbling around like an idiot."
"I'm not fumbling."
"Oh no? So why haven't you mailed them?"
"I was going to, and then Kenny turned up and..." I trail off. My excuse is bullshit, and I'd be an idiot to think that Cole is buying any of it.
"She's hardly been taking up all your time."
"Thanks, asshole. I don't need you telling me that."
"I'm just saying. It takes minutes to mail them. Why haven't you?"
What if she leaves? What if she goes back to him? The words are right on the tip of my tongue, but I swallow them down. I know it's stupid to hold off because of Kenny—it's just another excuse I'm adding to all the others. I just need to man up and accept that we've only got a few months before all our lives change once again.
I blow out a sigh. "I'll send them after school."
"Good. I'll beat your fucking ass if you miss the deadlines because you're being a pussy."
"I preferred you when you didn't talk much."
"And I prefer you when you're not sulking, but we can't always get what we want, can we?"
"It seems not."
"She'll come around, Con.” Cole offers me a tentative smile. “She's just been through hell. The last thing she wants is to let another guy close."
"I'm not just any guy though, am I?"
He shrugs. "Fuck knows, Con. We left her behind and look what happened. She probably thinks you're just as bad as them, that you care as little."
"That's bullshit."
"Yeah, well, I haven’t figured out a woman's head yet, and I doubt that you will either, so just go with the flow."
"And now he's giving me girl advice. Fucking priceless," I mutter while he barks out a laugh.
"It's amazing what regular pussy can do for a guy."
I slam my foot down on the brake a little too hard when we come to an intersection.
"What the fuck did you just say about Hadley?" I snap, turning to look at him.
He shakes his head at me. "Fucking hell, Conner. She's really got you whipped, huh?"
"Hadley isn't just a piece of ass, she's..." I trail off, thinking of his girl.
"I'm more than aware, hence the ring on her finger."
"I still can't believe you did that," I say, pulling out slowly, much to the irritation of the guy behind us.
"Neither can she, but she's yet to take it off, so I think she's warming to the idea." He smirks.
"You're fucking nuts, bro."
"Meh, life's fucking good right now. Might as well enjoy it before the next surprise slams into us."
"I'm happy for you—you know that, right?"
'We'll get you your girl, Con. Just give it some time." He reaches over and squeezes my shoulder in support. Although I appreciate the gesture, I can't help feeling like it might be a lost cause. Kenny isn't the girl I remember. She changed during our time apart, and I'm not sure if the new Kenny and I have any kind of connection at all.
The rest of the journey to school is in silence. The closer we get, the more Cole starts to fidget beside me. Back in the day, I'd think he was itching for a fight, but now things are very different, and the only person he wants to get his hands on is his girl.
"You know you only just saw her yesterday, right?"
"Yeah, which means it's been over twelve hours since..." He glances at me and trails off.
"No need to be embarrassed now, I heard what you were doing. Other side of the wall, remember?"
"Sorry," he mutters, although the shit-eating grin on his face says that he's anything but sorry.
"I need to get laid."
"You keep saying that, but we all know it's not happened since you've been here."
"I—"
"Go on, lie to me. I dare you." He pins me with a look that has me slamming my lips shut.
He's right, and the smug motherfucker knows it.
It's not that I've lacked offers since we moved here. The problem is quite the opposite. The good little girls of Sterling Prep started throwing themselves at us from the first moment we pulled up in this very parking lot. I could have fucked my way through both the senior and junior girls by now if I wanted to, I have no doubt. Problem is... none of them were her.
Kennedy Lowe.
She fucking ruined me, and she has no idea.
"Come on, we don't want to miss them."