I nod. Brandi and I spent the afternoon practicing the fine art of modern human conversation. I can converse just fine as a vampire, but I’m supposed to be human. One hundred percent.
My biggest challenge will be pretending I do not know as much as I do. I too am well traveled, well educated, and well lived. Luckily, I have spent most of my existence playing a role. “Got it. How do I look?”
“Like you’re about to fight a bull.”
Brandi does not support my red cape.
“Woman! What do you want from me? I am in jeans. And I have put on one of these hideous pastel pink button-down shirts you insist I wear. What more do you want?”
She backs away, holding up her hands. “Just trying to help. I don’t want you to die of old age because of your fashion choices. But what do I care?” She says that last part with a bitter edge, like I’m a moron for not seeing how vested she is in my plight.
“Funny.”
Her eyes whip to mine. “How’s that funny?”
“You’ve known me all of two days.”
“So?”
“You expect me to believe that you genuinely care for my well-being? We hardly know each other.”
She looks like she wants to claw out my eyes. “Did you actually put me down just now because I showed concern for you?” She shakes her head. “You’re damaged.”
I feel my conscience kick in. I am extremely untrusting, and I know it. Comes with the territory of living among my kind for three centuries.
“Apologies. I was out of line.” I remove the cape and toss it to the bench next to the door. “I am nervous. Can you imagine? Me. I have never been nervous in my life.”
“Just promise, if you convince her to change you, that you won’t become a turd like Julia.”
This is the second time she’s mentioned that. I don’t understand where this is coming from, but, all right, “Yes. Fine. I promise.”
“Just making sure. Have a great date.” She marches to her room and slams the door.
What has gotten under her skin? “I turned on the hot tub! Maybe you need to soak away that nasty attitude, young lady!”
I don’t have a clue why she is behaving so oddly, but I cannot afford to lose focus. Everything is riding on tonight. I must win Liza over, at least enough to get some of her blood. If I am lucky, she will do it while we are in the throes of passion.
“You’re a virgin?” From a quiet corner of my favorite Chinese restaurant, I gaze across the table at Liza over a steaming plate of spicy onions and eggplant. The establishment is a hole-in-the-wall with old carpets and too much dust on the dragon-painted lamps. Still, there is no better food in town. And no better view.
Liza looks stunning tonight with her huge blonde bun, thick glasses and a bulky dress that resembles a floral potato sack. I really appreciate when a woman is confident in herself and doesn’t try to impress. Her look says ‘I am sexy underneath this wall of impenetrable fabric. But you won’t get to see it unless you impress me first.’
“Yes, well,” she says, “I was raised by a very strict family in a small village. Women were expected to save themselves for marriage, and I guess after I was turned, I never really let go of my traditional upbringing.”
“But you are very old. That is a long time to wait.”
She plucks a piece of eggplant from the plate and pops it in her mouth. Meanwhile, my eyes are tearing from the fumes. There is an inch of fire-roasted hot peppers on the dish—special order. The waitress looked at us like we were mad. Even now, I keep seeing the chef poke his head out from the kitchen. He cannot believe we are eating it.
“Oh, trust me,” she says. “I wasn’t waiting. I was too busy living. One adventure after another until one day, boom! Five hundred years went by. It’s been an amazing journey.”
I am almost jealous. Liza has been taking in all the experiences life has to offer, while I spent my years acquiring wealth and power. Look where that got me. I still have the money, but I am about as powerful as a three-legged caterpillar. “So now you’re here in Phoenix, looking after Miriam’s library.”
“Just until my aunt comes. Then I’m off again.”
“To where?”
“Not sure. But it’s time, yanno? Sex and love are the two things I’ve yet to experience. Well, that and having children.”
“Children? You mean, you wish to turn someone?”
She laughs and waves a dismissive hand through the air. “God no. I’ve never given anyone my blood. Don’t plan to either. I mean, it would have to be a very special person under very special circumstances—someone I really trust and love. But I meant real children. I plan to take the cure and have actual babies.”
My throat goes dry. “Babies? The cure?”
“Yeah, there’s a cure now. It took a while for them to get the dosage right, but they can reverse vampirism. Isn’t that wonderful?”
I know all too well about the cure. Ground zero here. “I have heard of this cure—through my vampire friends, of course. They mentioned there is an issue with memory loss.” I am one of the only known exceptions. It’s a miracle that Vanderhorst did not lock me up in the lab for further study. No memory loss, an extreme age makeover, and rapid aging. They assume there was a reaction to the large dose I consumed, but no one truly knows for certain.
“My entire existence as a vampire will be erased from my mind,” she says. “When I wake up, there’ll be a new life waiting for me, which is why I have to make preparations. I’m thinking of recording a few videos for myself to explain why I’m no longer living in the 1500s. I kind of hoped to meet my special someone first, so I have help adjusting to what will seem like an entirely new world, but after some thought, I decided not to wait. I’m going for it.” She shrugs. “Mr. Right will come along when he does. Plus, I figure it’ll be easier to meet a human guy if I’m human, too.”
This is a disaster. My savior intends to become human again. Soon. And she wants a human companion. “Not to put a damper on your dreams, Liza, but have you ever considered that your soul mate might be like you?”
She blinks.
I continue, “And forgive me for being so frank, since we hardly know each other, but you are one of the most well-adjusted, eh hem—” I do not want to say vampire out loud in a public place “—persons of your kind I have ever met. I think you were born for it.”
The waitress comes and delivers a plate of piping hot Mongolian beef with the tiniest chili peppers I’ve ever seen. I know they must be hot.
Liza’s eyes light up. “That looks yummy. Dig in.”
Not wanting to be rude, I grab my spoon and load some onto my plate. My tongue is still on fire from the eggplant I sampled.
I take a bite and feign a smile. “Yumm…” Dear God, I am going to burst into flames. The pain! The pain! “Really spectacular.” I reach for my water and guzzle while Liza helps herself to the hellfire on our table.
“Wow. That is good. I’ve really missed meat. I’ve been living off yak herders and cheese for years.”
“So,” I try not to cry, “what do you think?”
“About?”