As Liza goes on for the next ten minutes about all the places she’s lived, it becomes abundantly clear that she has been off the grid longer than I have been alive. Is it possible that this female vampire is older than Narcissismo?
“So you are an ancient powerful vampire, then?” I ask, practically salivating at the thought of someone like her turning me. In the vampire world, the pecking order is heavily dependent on who made who and how pure their blood is.
“We’re all equally powerful in my eyes, part of one big universe. Vampire. Human. Yak. Are we really so different at the end of the day?”
An ancient vampire can kill a hundred human men in sixty seconds, while a yak might do what? Nibble on your hair? Hardly equal.
“But you must be at least a third or a fourth generation. Correct?” I ask. Not that it matters which. As long as she is of superior strength compared to most vampires, she will do.
“Technically, I’m a second generation.”
What! Someone pinch me! Or better yet, someone bite me.
She continues, “My maker was a huge macho jerk. Only made female vampires because he thought we would serve him. Finally, everyone in our coven got sick of his whole ass grabbing and chauvinistic talk—” she lowers her voice, pretending to talk like a man “—female vampires are meant to live in caves, barefoot, waiting to please their maker with a warm human on the table when he comes home.” Liza exhales and smiles proudly. “So we shared his blood and dusted him.”
She is saying that they devoured the vampire who created them. And, as every vampire knows, if one ingests the blood of a stronger vampire, they inherit their powers. Sounds a bit confusing, unless you’re a virologist with a background in genetic mutations. In short, vampirism is caused by an ancient virus.
The original strain is the most powerful, though no one knows its origin. As the virus is passed down from vampire to vampire, the strain weakens. All that sciency stuff aside, I cannot believe my luck. She will be the perfect maker for me! “So you are essentially here for a vacation?”
Liza giggles. “Not exactly.”
“Then?”
“Well, I think it’s finally time to set down roots. I’ve seen it all, done it all. Everything except the one. The big L.”
Love. She wants love. She is perfect!
“I am sure you will find it, Liza. A woman such as yourself…” I reach for her hand and kiss the top. “…will have no issues finding suitors.” I gaze into her azure blue eyes. “But how will you ever choose? I’m sure the gentlemen are lined up around the block.”
She snorts and jerks her hand away. “Well, yanno. I guess a lottery would be the fairest.” She doubles over and laughs hysterically, snorting profusely.
It takes everything I have not to show what I am thinking: What the hell is the matter with this one?
Still, one cannot look a gift horse in the mouth. She is attractive and physically stirs me in all the right places. Check that box.
She is an ancient vampire. Check that box, too.
And, most importantly, she seems to have no clue who I am. Check, check, check!
“Liza, since you’re new in town, why don’t I take you to dinner tonight? I can show you a place that makes a mean Mongolian beef. Very spicy.” Vampires love hot food.
“Oh. Ohhhh. Sounds good.”
“Then I shall see you around eight?” I say.
“Sounds great.” She smiles, flashing a bit of sexy fang.
“And where should I retrieve you from?”
She gives me the address of her rental. It is not far from the library. “See you then. And please wear something breathable.”
“Sorry?” she says.
“It’s going to be a hot night.” I wink.
She stares blankly.
“The restaurant has the hottest peppers in town. You will be sweating.”
“Oh.” She swipes a hand through the air. “Very funny!”
I saunter out to await Brandi in the car. I have forgotten all about reading myself to death or dying of old age. Liza is quite possibly the sexiest woman I have encountered in my existence. She gets my vampire juices flowing, which says a lot! I have no vampire juice.
“Racker?” says a soft voice.
I turn my head and find Brandi sitting next to me in the passenger seat. I hadn’t even noticed her getting into the car.
“You’re really going out with her? Tonight?”
“You heard all that?” I ask.
“Yes. And I know what she is.”
“How?”
“After what I went through, a person just knows,” Brandi growls her words.
“What has your panties in a brunch, woman?”
“It’s bunch.”
I shrug. “Who cares? I don’t wear panties, now do I?” I wait for her to disclose what’s eating her. “Well? Out with it.”
Her warm brown eyes flicker with anger. Her pouty little lips are puckered in an angry little circle. “Never mind. Can we go now?”
“Yes, but you must help me prepare for this date.”
“Why do you want my help?”
“Because you are a woman, and I must practice my game.”
“Game?” Brandi frowns.
“Liza does not know who I am, and she thinks I have always been human. I must practice behaving like a modern man while wooing her at the same time.”
“Why not just tell her the truth?”
Brandi clearly doesn’t understand the complexities of my situation. “Because she is my last chance at becoming a vampire again.”
Brandi runs her petite hands over the length of her ponytail. “You’re serious. You really plan to seduce her so she’ll turn you.”
“She is quite beautiful. I wouldn’t mind bedding her too.” I always preferred sleeping with vampires. I like it rough. I like to push boundaries. And I go for hours. A human could never keep up.
Brandi shakes her head. She doesn’t approve.
“So you are refusing to help me? The man who nearly died rescuing you from a vicious vampire, therefore tarnishing my three-century-old reputation in the vampire world.”
“You’re not playing fair.”
“Judge me if you like, but you owe me,” I add.
“Fine. I’ll help. But promise me, if this works, you won’t end up being like that monster Julia.”
She is a reproachable specimen. Even at my worst, I would never have kept my house looking like that. “You have my word.”
CHAPTER NINE
Liza. Liza. Liza! Words cannot express the joy I feel tonight. To think, there is an ancient vampire out there who has no clue I am Mr. Nice. It’s like winning the lottery. She is also beautiful, well traveled, and had no issues accepting an invitation from a human male with the mark of the bat.
“It is almost too good to be true.” I check my hair one final time in the foyer mirror.
“Just remember what I told you, okay?” says Brandi, already prepared for bed in sweats and a T-shirt. “Talk about her. Ask questions about what she likes, her travels, any hobbies. If a topic makes her eyes light up, ask more questions about that. If she asks about you or your past, just sidestep and say something vague, like, her life sounds way more interesting. But don’t be pushy! Let the conversation flow naturally and, repeat after me, I will not showboat. I will not showboat.”