“We’re all in this together. I was there, too. Now, it’s time to see how forgiving Palmer Weston can actually be.” I pat him on the shoulder and head to my bedroom.
Sleep comes easy, but only because I know I’m guaranteed another day. Nothing can typically bring me down, but right now, my entire world has been hurled upside down, and keeping those I care about safe consumes my every thought.
Chapter Two
Palmer
“Open up, Palmer. I know you’re in there.”
Breaker Davenport. The bane of my existence.
I’ve been trying my hardest to ignore him, but he’s endearing as hell, not to mention persistent, which makes this difficult. Ever since Marek’s arrest and release, Breaker has been checking in on me. Every time, I manage to lock his voice out of my head. My noise-canceling headphones have helped.
“I’ll sing to you again,” he calls through the door.
I stand from the window seat and swing the door open. Breaker has his hands on the top of the doorframe. His untucked dress shirt rides up, showing off his trim stomach. Several tattoos peek out from the top of his jeans as he swings forward and back on his heels.
“Don’t you have something better to do than harass me?” I leave him out in the hall and return to solace at my window.
Ever since I blurted my theory to Dixon and Breaker, I’ve been hiding in my dorm. The truth is, the more I allow the idea to sink in, the madder I grow. If I’m right, my sister has allowed me to experience a year of fear, while she continues to breathe somewhere out in the world. If I’m wrong, then I’ll have to mourn my sister again.
If Reed were to walk through this doorway right now, I’m not certain how I would react. No response feels appropriate for what it would mean for everyone.
“Are you really going to ignore him?” He kicks the door shut and rests against it.
“Perhaps.” I hug my legs tight against my chest. Watching Marek being taken away in handcuffs made me feel helpless. Even with the overwhelming anger I had towards him, the majority of my heart and mind wanted to reach out and fix everything. I should have expected him to race over here after I’d found their camera, but nothing could have prepared me for him standing in front of me.
He’s always been my flame, and I’m the stupid moth that can’t seem to stay away.
“So, the hand holding didn’t mean shit then?” he questions. I roll my eyes, thinking about how childish he sounds, accusing me of something for holding Marek’s hand. “That must not have been you that gripped his hand the minute those cops said his name.”
“Breaker, stop!” I plead, hoping to keep denying everything I feel right now.
“That’s not his necklace around your neck then, either?” He points to the silver chain hidden under my shirt. “I must be seeing things.”
“He asked me to hold onto it for him.” I grip at it around my neck.
“That’s what jewelry boxes are for, Palmer.” He sits on the edge of the window seat with me. “You have it around your neck because it’s been killing you to know he’s been going through hell, and there’s no way for you to fix it for him.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I huff a heavy breath against the cool window and draw a circle in the fog, followed by two dots for the eyes of a sad face.
Breaker reaches forward and finishes the frown. “I know he came to see you. I also know you gave him an emotional and physical ass beating. Go see him. Figure out what has had your ass holed up in here.” He stands and walks away.
Panic settles into my chest as he opens the door.
“Have you ever felt something so deep for someone that it didn’t make any sense? Or how about when you do think about them, the good is overplayed by the horror they’ve created in your life?” I push off the seat and meet Breaker at the door.
“Actually—”
“No, I didn’t think so,” I cut him off. “Until you know what that feels like, don’t come knocking on my door giving advice.”
“We fucked up. You already know that, but we thought—”
“You thought wrong.” I grip the knob and push it farther for him to go out and leave me alone. “I can’t do this. I thought I could. It seemed so easy to let the games you four played fall to the wayside, but what it took was a few days in this room to realize it’s not that simple. We’re not that simple.”
“So, all that time we spent together, really getting to know each other, means nothing now?” He searches my face for a sign my words don’t match my actual feelings. “And here I thought I’d actually have a friendship with you. My fucking mistake.”
“Your mistake happened the minute you didn’t stop them.” I shrug, fighting everything inside of me that wants to break down. Hurt crosses his eyes, but he’s stoic otherwise. He corrects himself in a blink. “Leave me alone, Breaker. Don’t show up here again.”
“Palmer.” Breaker’s voice is low, quiet as a hunter trying not to spook a deer. “It’s been a week. You have to come out of here.”
“Just don’t, okay?” I slam the door shut and rest my forehead against it. There’s a small shake to the wood, and I jerk.
“We do things we aren’t proud of. Hurting you will be our greatest regret,” Breaker whispers. “You’re stronger than this, stronger than us. Don’t let us ruin you.”
Dammit! Why does this boy have to be so thoughtful?
I open the door, and my hand reaches out before I can think better of it. It wraps around his shoulder, and I yank him forward. My arms grip tight around him, and we hug each other.
No other words seem appropriate for this moment. A few seconds pass, and I let him go and shut myself inside my dorm without uttering a single thing.
My friendship with Breaker has been an effortless, easy one. We’ve fallen into this life where we can’t exist without the other. I mean it when I say it’s easy to trust him. He’s never put his hands on me. What the few days of isolation have done for me is make me second-guess everything.
Don’t let us ruin you. Those five words play through my head over the next few days. I decide to avoid anything and everyone for the rest of the week.
While I’ve been out of school, Delaney has been bringing me my paperwork, lying to the teachers, and telling them I’ve come down with the flu. No one else besides her and Breaker have bothered to check on me.
I haven’t built up the courage to tell her the whole truth yet. She has no idea what really happened on that rooftop. The events that followed won’t make any sense to her, especially my decisions. How do I explain something I don’t even understand myself?
On the off chance I’m right, telling Delaney will result in my dragging her into this mess. There isn’t a chance I’m willing to risk her falling into the crosshairs of my troubles.
I dodge Delaney’s calls, ignoring everything that waits for me on the outside of this dorm room. In here, I’m safe and able to pretend as if chaos doesn’t wait for me. Once I open the door, I’ll have to face Marek and ask questions when I’m not ready to know the answers. Out there is where reality lies, and for the time being, I prefer to live as if I’m a normal senior girl counting down the days until graduation.