Breaker’s laugh follows me outside and relentlessly mocks me until I shut it out with a slam of the driver’s door.
The drive to campus is quiet. I don’t turn on the music, preferring the silence. There’s comfort in my own thoughts, even as mangled as they are. Driving twice the speed limit through the streets, I grab the baseball hat sitting on the dash and slip it on for camouflage. I’m punching the passcode into Palmer’s building within ten minutes of leaving the house.
I skip the elevator and take the stairs two at a time, pausing at the top to check the hallway. When I see it’s empty, I shoot across the floor, turn the knob of her room, and find it unlocked. What is she thinking?
Palmer screeches as I shut myself inside. My back hits the door with a loud thud. Pain darts up my spine, awakening the nerves. Will it leave a bruise like it did on Palmer’s? The memory of her pinned against the door, the pressure of my body against her, excites me.
“It’s reckless to leave your door unlocked.” I stalk towards her.
“Maybe I’m looking to be hurt.” She inches away, creating space I don’t want to give her.
“Now is not the time to be stupid, Palmer.” I close the gap between us, but this time she doesn’t try to evade me.
“Marek.” She sways towards me. Her eyes say everything she doesn’t. She wants to rip my clothes off, but not before she wreaks havoc on me.
I lift my hand to grab for the hem of her shirt, and a sharp pinch rains over my face. Surprised, I glance up to Palmer’s pleased smile.
“What the hell was that for?” I run my hand over my cheek and down my jaw to alleviate the pain.
“That was for allowing Byron to do what he did to me”— she jabs her finger at my face, then slaps me again— “and this is for using me as some sort of pawn, which I still don’t understand.”
“WHOA! Okay.” I hold my hands up and try to dodge her, but she has me cornered.
Her body is so close to mine. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her angry like this. The last forty-eight hours for her has obviously been used to compile a list of reasons to hate me. There’s plenty there to write down, and I’m surprised it’s taken this long.
“You had me right where you wanted me, Marek.” The sadness in her voice forces me to swallow the lump in my throat.
“It wasn’t like that,” I plead.
“The worst part is I thought I wanted to be there, too. I only played into your hand because I was desperate to understand my sister’s fucking fascination with all of you, but I don’t care anymore. I’m washing my hands of it all.”
“I know I fucked up, but you need to understand something . . .”
“I’m not going to take part in this anymore. You don’t get to play your devilish games and have me at your feet. I’m done.” She pushes me towards the door, opens it, and shoves me into the hallway.
“Let me explain some things to you, Palmer,” I beg.
“No.” She lifts her hand again and laces it across my cheek. This time, I’m expecting it, and the sting doesn’t last as long. I stare down the end of her fingers, into her beautiful blue eyes. “That is for the fact that you were in love with my sister, and you used that against me in a time of weakness, which I seem to have with you far too often than not.”
I don’t know what I can say or do to make her let me explain. By the fire in her eyes, I suspect she’s made her mind up.
“Is there anything I can do that will make you listen to me?” I know how I sound, like a desperate piece of shit who isn’t willing to take the blows he’s earned. “Let me tell you everything. No more secrets.”
“There is, actually.” She crooks her finger in the air, calling me forward. I inch closer, and the door is violently slammed in my face. “Go fuck yourself, Marek.”
“I’m not giving up!” I shout through the door.
“Of course, you will, because a boy like you isn’t capable of being vulnerable, Marek.” There’s a soft thud from the other side of the door. I imagine it’s her head resting against the only thing keeping us apart. “Go home. Try not to go to jail again, but leave me the hell alone.”
Defeated, I head down the stairs, tugging my hat low on my face as I turn the corner. My shoulder smacks into a girl passing me on the stairwell.
“Excuse me,” I say, gripping her arms to steady her, afraid she’ll hit the floor. She jerks away as if my touch burns her, tugging the sleeves of her oversized hoodie down past her fingers. “I’m sorry, are you okay?”
She’s clearly frazzled, and I’m taken aback when she lifts her head, exposing her face. A bruise runs along her tear-soaked cheek. Her red-rimmed eyes plead for me to leave her be. I can’t look away from her trembling body. My gut tells me not to leave her like this, but what am I supposed to do? Hold her against her will? Demand to know what happened to her?
“Please, let me get by.” She darts to the side, flinching at the smallest movement of my body as she runs up the stairs. Who has this girl so afraid?
Call it my conscience or Palmer’s influence encouraging me, I follow her. Not wanting to be caught, I stay far enough away to not be seen. My curiosity gets the better of me, and I watch her go into her room, safely tucked behind her door. Whimpers and muffled cries drift out to me, proving what I feared.
I leave the dorm, unable to scratch the image of the girl from my mind. The drive home is spent comparing her bruises to Palmer’s after her attacks.
I walk into the house and find it mostly shut down. The living room and kitchen are empty. I take the back stairs and knock on Dixon’s bedroom door as I open it.
“Everything good with Palmer?” he asks, turning in his computer chair.
“Well, she got a few good slaps in and wouldn’t let me talk,” I explain.
Dixon spins around and pecks at his keyboard. “Can you blame her?”
“I wasn’t the only one on that rooftop.” Even to me, that argument is growing old.
“Yeah, but you’re the only one she gives a flying fuck about.” He glances over his shoulder, smiles, then returns his attention to the screen.
“What are you doing, anyway?” I walk to his side and bend down to look at the screen.
“I’m hacking into the police officers’ phones, or at least trying.” He shrugs as if it’s no big deal. Dixon has put his ass on the line for us more times than I can count. “Call it listening to my gut.”
“After you’re done with your side project, find out who’s in Room Four-C in the Rose Dorm for me, will you?”
“Yeah, sure.” He nods. “That’s Palmer’s dorm, right? Do I even want to know?”
“I ran into this girl on my way out, and something isn’t sitting right with me.”
“What girl?” Dixon asks.
“That’s what I need you to figure out. She had a pretty beat up face, spooked like a rabbit in a fox hole, so . . .”
“Linked?” He turns, eyeing me to catch my reaction.
“I hope not, because if it is, our problems aren’t even close to being over.”
“Your looming murder charges tell me our problems aren’t close to being over.” He chuckles and stands, walking me to the door. “I’ll have the girl’s name by morning, and for what it’s worth, I’m sorry how much we fucked all this up.”