“I’m glad Phoenix found you. I looked around the house for you. When it started to rain, I was really worried. Why did you just take off?”
“I just wanted to go for a walk. It’s kind of my thing. I didn’t realize how far I’d gone, and I didn’t know it would rain all of a sudden.” I know he was worried. “Sorry for making you worry. It won’t happen again. I’ll tell you next time I decide to go for a walk.” Phoenix walks past us and into the house.
“Irelyn is upstairs waiting on you. She was worried too,” Asher continues. She runs up to me and hugs me as soon as she sees me.
“What the heck did you think happened to me? It’s just a little rain.”
“I don’t trust these country woods. You could’ve been picked up by an ax murderer or something.” She giggles, finally at ease.
“Shut up, cray-cray. Nobody wants me.”
“That’s not true,” she says, shoving my arm.
“I’m going to take a hot shower and get out of these wet clothes.”
“Phoenix already headed that way. He may have beat you to it,” Sasha warns. I’m not talking to this skanky, guy stealing whore.
“You can use the shower on the first floor,” Asher offers.
“Go ahead, and I’ll bring you a change of clothes,” Irelyn chimes in.
“Okay. Thanks.” I use the shower downstairs. It is nowhere near as nice as the one in the master bath. I almost feel guilty. I hear the door creak open, and I can make out Irelyn laying clothes on the counter for me.
“I’ll just take these wet clothes and put them in the wash,” she says, before heading back out the door.
Chapter Five
Harlow
I step out of the shower and immediately notice those clothes are not my things. I run over to them and lift them up. They’re some sort of tights and tank with a sports bra. The panties are the only thing that belongs to me. I dry off quickly, wrap the towel around me, and crack the door open.
“Irelyn!” I scream. “Irelyn!” I keep yelling her name until she brings her smart ass down these stairs to see what I want. She knows why I’m calling her.
“Yesssss,” she drags out when she gets to me.
“Don’t yes me. These are not my clothes. Where’s my stuff?” I don’t have much. She pushes past me and closes the bathroom door behind us.
“I put all your shit in the wash, so they’re wet. This is a goddamn intervention. I’m sorry, but you’re just going to have to be pissed with me.” I begin to have a mini panic attack.
“Why would you do this? God. Now, I need to get something to wear from Asher.” I’m so upset with her as I pace the floor.
“Would you listen to yourself? It’s fucking clothes, Harlow. It’s time to fucking stop hiding behind the damn clothes and makeup. Whatever happened in your past, let it go.” She attempts to lower her voice. “You are a strong, independent woman. You don’t need clothes to define who you are. I don’t know what happened, and you don’t have to tell me, but I know the whole point is to make yourself visually unappealing.”
“You don’t know shit.” Tears spill from my eyes, and I angrily wipe them away. How dare she? She yanks my arm and pulls me in front of the mirror.
“News flash, baby girl. You’re beautiful no matter what you wear. If you’re not interested in the attention of a man, then tell them to back the fuck off. You're feisty as fuck, so I know that you’re capable.” She breathes out a calming breath. “Those clothes you wear are for a fucking coward, and you are not that. Embrace your curves and sexiness. If you don’t want a relationship with a man, you don’t have to. This fall starts a new chapter for us, and I will not let you hide anymore. You have me. Just please, give up this whole baggy look. We can go shopping and do girly shit together. And for the love of all things holy, please see that I’m doing this out of love.”
I walk over to the tub and take a seat on the edge. Of all the previous lectures I’ve gotten from my mom and other people about how I dress, this is the first time that someone has gotten through. I have given power to my past. It’s held me captive and made me scared to be seen by the opposite sex. I didn’t want to be on their radar. I’m still afraid. It seems silly when you say it out loud, but the clothes and makeup make me feel safe.
The truth is, Phoenix ignored it all anyway, and I’m able to handle him—sort of. He is the ultimate alpha male, so if I can interact with him, maybe I don’t have to be afraid of men. This is a big step for me, but I’m going to try. It’s better to do a trial run here than on a campus with thousands. Plus, I have Asher and Irelyn here. Jesus, the fact that I’m having this inner monologue with myself about clothes makes me certifiable. I look up at Irelyn, and she gives me the brightest smile imaginable. She knows that she has gotten through. She doesn’t say anything. She just hands me the clothes. I don’t even ask her to leave. She’s seen me naked before. The leggings slash tights, whatever the hell you call them, are knee-length, but the tank doesn’t cover my ass. I know I’m curvy, and right now, they’re all on display. I timidly walk out behind Irelyn up to the second floor.
“Eat your heart out, Sasha.” She laughs.
“Ugh,” I groan.
“What? Her body doesn’t hold a candle to yours, babe. She had shit to say about you not changing into a swimsuit yesterday. She is going to wish you were still hidden. The guys are going to flip their shit, so be ready. This is your test.”
“Thanks.” Now I dread going upstairs even more. I’m not going to back out now, but I pray they don’t make too much of a big deal over my transformation.
“What the…?” The question dies on Ren’s lips. The guys all turn to see what got him so excited.
“Well, I’ll be goddamned,” Phoenix says. “There she is.” He walks over to me and shakes my hand before I can yank my hand away. “Hi, Harlow. Nice to finally meet you.”
“Cut the shit, Phoenix,” I chastise.
“I don’t see what the fuss is about. So she finally put on some normal people clothes and washed all that shit from her face,” Sasha whines. “Good for you, Harlow.”
“Fuck you.” I’m tired of her shit, so I give her the middle finger. Asher steps in to defuse the tension.
“I like it, sis. You don’t need all that baggy shit. You’re a beautiful woman, not some Goth or tomboy.”
“Can everyone please stop focusing on me, please? Don’t make this weird for me. It’s something I’m trying to see if I like it. Everyone has their own personal style, so get off my case.”
“Anyone want to watch American Horror Story?” Phoenix changes the subject. He looks over at me and winks. I still hate that he slept with the skank, but he is not mine, so I can’t hold that against him. I do appreciate his effort to take the spotlight off me. It works because the guys begin to grab plates of lasagna and beers to settle in for the show. Phoenix, of course, grabs a plate of chicken breast and greens.