Chapter 1
Grace Seven Years Old
It was the spring before my eighth birthday when we moved. I remember because everything looked so lush and green. Outside the front of our house was a large area of grass with a path running alongside a small river. Beyond the river was yet more grass, with trees, and fields for as far as I could see. Cows grazed in the field and came down the muddy bank to drink from the water. Scenes from the picture books I used to read were now right before my eyes.
I was like a ball of compressed energy, desperate to go out and explore—the lure of all the space, so different from the city where our house was next to more homes and roads with nothing in between.
But my mum was cautious. She’d never fully explained why, nothing more than the usual ‘don’t talk to strangers’ or ‘stay away from the edge of the road’, which meant that the freedom that teased the air could only be enjoyed from my bedroom window, even though I was desperate to go outside and play more than anything else in the world.
Finally, after a week of badgering her over and over again, she relented and let me walk across the small, quiet road our house was on and onto the green. I could still see her in the living room window. She never took her eyes off me, but that was okay. I walked up and down and made sure I could still see the house. The fun of being let out soon disappeared, now I didn’t know what to do with myself out in the open. So I picked up a long stick to drag behind me. Now I was outside, I felt a bit lost. There was no one else to play with.
But that soon changed.
The next day, after I’d convinced Mum I could go out on the green again, I met them. Two boys came tearing past me with a pretend gun and crossbow. They were loud and shouty, and it was hard to ignore them. But I didn’t want to. My heart raced as they rushed past me, and my eyes stuck to them like glue. Play with me, I silently begged as they kept running.
Sadly, my mum had other ideas, and as soon as I had worked up the courage in my little chest to ask one of them if I could join in, she hoisted me back to the house. My chest got tight, and my eyes stung, but I didn’t want to cry. Crying was for little girls who weren’t allowed to play on their own or find friends for themselves. That’s not who I was.
I ran up to my room and watched them from my window. The boys yelled and screamed at each other, and it made me wonder if they were friends at all the way they argued. But they also wore great big smiles on their faces and raced off together every few minutes after agreeing, or not agreeing, who’d shot who.
That night, I went to bed, hoping to find a friend to play with the next day, and I even wished it would be the loud boys whom I’d watched from my window.
The spring sunshine lit up the world day after day and gave me no reason to stay inside. The Easter holidays meant no school, at least for now. When the holiday ended, I would be starting at my new school. Part of me knew that it would be fun because I’d meet a whole bunch of new friends for the first time. But that funny, swirly feeling in my stomach wouldn’t go away when my mind pictured what it might be like. And every day, it got worse.
The outside was beckoning me with bright clear skies and thick green grass. Mum had relaxed enough that she wasn’t waiting at the window for the entire time I was outside. I would be eight in a few months, but to my mum that only meant I still needed to be watched.
This time, as I ran about with my stick and drew patterns in the grass, the boys’ voices and shouts were an early warning of their arrival on the green. They didn’t have any pretend guns with them today, but the smiles they shared the first time I’d seen them were still firmly on their faces.
“Hi!” One of them skidded to a halt in front of me. “My name’s Maddison. Want to play?” He had light, yellowy hair that looked like he hadn’t brushed it after getting out of bed.
I wrung my hands together. The giddy feeling circling in my stomach and the bubbles in my chest that were ready to explode turned my voice soft. He’d stopped to ask me to play. That was everything.
“Sure,” I muttered.
The other boy stopped and watched, his eyes switching back and forth between us. I hoped he didn’t mind that his friend had stopped to say hi. He might not have wanted to share him or play with me at all.
“I’m Oliver,” the second boy finally said. “Maddison is my younger my brother.” His voice held so much pride as he introduced himself and his relationship to Maddison. His voice was deeper than Maddison’s, and under both their gazes, I had to force my feet to keep standing in front of them and be strong. The turning in my tummy had grown worse, and I couldn’t resist twisting back to the house for a second, to check it was still in view, in case I had to escape. I kept looking at Oliver, though—his hair was brown, like mine, and he didn’t look like he was Maddison’s brother at all.
“Hi,” I squeaked.
“What’s your name?”
“I’m Grace.” It was barely a whisper, but I didn’t care. To me, I’d been brave enough to get over the nerves that ran all over my body like horrible insects. If I could do that, then I could be friends with them. Not one, but two new friends.
That introduction, standing in the grass outside my new house, meant the world to me. I went home feeling taller than when I had gone out to play. It was the missing piece that filled my heart after the move from my old home and set the foundation for my future happiness in my new one.
For the next four days, all I wanted was to be outside and explore with Oliver and Maddison. They’d worked out which house was mine and sent my excitement into overdrive when they came to call for me the next afternoon. Seeing them behind the front door put a grin on my face even my mum couldn’t remove with her constant hovering.
She was always careful and was full of questions before she deemed I would be safe in the boys’ company. And she insisted that later on we go and meet their mum. That was almost as exciting as being allowed out to play. I’d find out where they lived, what their house was like, and then maybe I’d be able to go and call for them. With the promise and reassurance from Oliver, as he had a watch, to be back in an hour to go and visit, we were let out. Mum’s watchfulness remained though.
“What do you want to play, Grace?” Maddison asked as we all sat beneath the big tree that shaded the edge of the river on the other side of the green.
“I don’t mind. What do you normally play?” I said quickly, pushing the job back to them. What if I suggested something silly and they didn’t want to play with me anymore? Their approval of me and acceptance was so important.
“Oh, we don’t mind. We can’t play some games as there’s not enough of us. What about freeze tag?”
“Sure.” At least I knew what that was.
“Great. I say Oliver is it!” Maddison jumped up and sprinted off. I tried to follow, giggling as I went, and looked over my shoulder for Oliver. My legs ached, and my lungs burned, but it was worth it.
For the next hour, we raced about, catching each other, releasing and swapping who got to race around. The smell of the sweet grass and the warmth of the sun completed the perfect afternoon. Neither Maddison nor Oliver shouted at each other like the first time I’d watched them. They still wore the smiles they had on the first day, but they swapped the yelling with sniggers of laughter and warnings of ‘run faster’, or ‘you’re it’.