“I’m fine.” He waved me off.
“Did you hear what I asked? The note in the—”
“It’s none of your damn business who that note is from. I told you not to go snooping around in my things. Why you so nosy about my life suddenly?”
I sat on the couch opposite him. “The girls are worried about you, and I don’t know what to tell them. You don’t let me help you with anything. Won’t even let me take you to the eye doctor to make sure you can see okay to drive. I saw the new dent in the car by the way.”
“Someone hit it in the parking lot while I was shopping.”
“Sure they did. Dad, if you need help getting groceries or anything else, I can do that. You don’t have to hire someone when I live right down the road.”
“Stop treating me like a child, I’m not fucking ancient, I can do my own shopping.”
“Then who is ‘O’ and why are they buying you cereal?”
“It’s none of your business.”
“Is it someone called Orion?”
I blurted it out because I was on a roll, but in truth, I hadn’t fully expected to be right. I’d anticipated confusion, or more sniping. But my father went still, and his face flushed crimson. Son of a bitch. What the fuck is going on?
“Dad?”
He grunted.
“I met someone with that name last night, and he knew things I only told you, so you better start talking because—”
“I know you met him. He called and told me.”
I blinked. “What?”
“I know you met Orion at the park.”
“Why…what…” I gave my head a quick shake. “How do you know that guy?”
He leaned over, rubbing his temples. “Damn it,” he whispered. “Shit.”
“You’re freaking me out right now, just so you know.”
“He’s someone who helps me out sometimes.”
“Is he a nurse?”
“No!” He looked up. “I don’t need a damn nurse. I’m healthy as a horse. Probably healthier than you!”
“Fine, a housekeeper then? What?” Orion’s online resume was multifarious, so maybe he was an aide or something too, but that wasn’t quite glamorous enough to make the homepage.
My father stared at the floor, silent. The longer that silence stretched out, the more anxious I became. Something was very off here. I hadn’t seen my dad look so anguished since the weeks after my mother’s death.
I stood and walked toward his chair. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Orion is someone I helped out a long time ago.” He looked up at me. “So he helps me out now and then.”
“How did you help him?”
“I can’t discuss that.”
I stared back at him, my mind spinning. “Is this…something to do with when you were a marshal?”
“Something like that, yes.”
“But you’ve been retired for a while now. How long have you known this guy?”
“A long time.”
“Why have I never met him?”
“Because I keep my job and my family separate.”
“You’re not on the job anymore! And if this guy is concerned about you taking your vitamins, it’s a lot more personal than professional.”
“Let it go. It’s not important.”
I tried to read his expression. He was sweating, avoiding my eyes. I’d never fully understood my father’s duties growing up, but I knew he did dangerous work sometimes, that he traveled a lot, and that we weren’t supposed to ask him about his job. But I’d always imagined his mysterious ‘job things’ happening in some distant place, not here in Hillock Beach.
“What else does he do for you? Besides buying Cheerios.”
“I don’t know. Cleans. Pays my bills sometimes.”
“He pays your bills?”
“Not pays them, it’s my money, he just stays on top of it for me. Look, I don’t want to discuss this anymore. It’s my business, not yours. And I’m tired. I smell like fish. I need a shower and a nap, so you should go.”
Oh hell no, he was not ushering me out of the house until I understood this better. “Is this why you didn’t let me in the house when I came by recently? You were afraid I’d find evidence of this…person?”
He huffed. “Well, I was right about that. You did.”
“So you admit you were hiding him from me. Why? You do need the help around the house, don’t you?”
“No! Get off my case. I don’t need help, I’m not feeble for Christ’s sake. And I’m not paying him. He just…does it.”
“Then why does he do it? He knows you have a son living nearby, obviously. You talked to him about me. How am I supposed to feel about that?”
“I’m sorry.” He looked at me, his expression almost timid, which was not at all like the Jasper I knew. “A few times when you stopped by, he was here in the house. He’s seen you outside. That’s how he recognized you at the park. He shouldn’t have toyed with you like that, though, and I gave him an earful for it, believe me.”
I threw my hands in the air. “Oh, an earful. Why didn’t you say so? That changes everything. I guess it’s fine that some total stranger knew my personal shit, and used it to fuck with me. It’s all good, because by God, Jasper gave him an earful!”
“You’re overreacting.”
“You told him about my children canceling on me. You talked to him about my kids! Please tell me he’s not dangerous.”
“No!” He shrugged. “Not really.”
“What level of dangerous is not really? Do you need me to do something about him? Is he bothering you?”
“No! For Christ’s sake, Kurt. He’s not dangerous like that, not to me. I’ve known him since he was a kid. I was thinking of you. You’re kind of gullible.”
“Excuse me?”
“I love you, but it’s true. You’re not the brightest light in the harbor, and Orion can be very manipulative. He’s not dangerous, but it’d be best if you stay away from him. If you see him again, don’t engage.”
I rubbed my face, groaning. “I don’t get this at all. Do the girls know about him? Did Mom know him?”
He slammed his fist down on the arm of the chair. “Enough! I said it’s nothing, Kurt, so let it go!”
My father’s hand trembled as he brought it to his face, wiping his brow. I stared at him, stunned by the outburst. He took off the checkered shirt he had on over his tee and wiped his sweaty face with it. “It’s nothing, huh? Then why have you had that look on your face ever since I brought him up?”
“What look? I don’t have a look.”
“You look sick. And…kind of guilty.”
My father went quiet again, hands clasped, staring at the floor. It chilled me that he wasn’t arguing.
“Dad? Do you…have something to be guilty about?”
“I don’t want to talk about this.”
“This? What is this? I think I deserve to know—”
“I had an affair with his mother.”