FROM THE ROYAL BUGLE, EUROPE’S #1 SOURCE FOR ROYAL GOSSIP
Robot Royal Searching for a Wife?
Who’s ready to be a princess? Time to throw your tiara in the ring!
Sources inside the palace at Elsinore have confirmed that Crown Prince Phillip is actively seeking to settle down–though what kind of woman he’s looking for remains a mystery. Perhaps best-known for his stiff personality, Phillip (who has been dubbed the Robot Royal) has never been publicly linked with anyone, so this news comes as quite a shock.
“His parents are actively seeking to arrange a match for Prince Phillip,” an exclusive source tells us.
Is this why the Duchess of Vendar was recently spotted leaving the palace in tears?
“He didn’t want a casual fling,” a rebuffed woman, who wished to remain anonymous, told the Bugle, “but he also had no interest in discussing anything more serious.”
Maybe he prefers the company of machines to humans, which would be a real shame for the living, breathing females who would love to help make an heir!
Perhaps because Prince Phillip has never officially been linked with anyone, speculation has reached a fever pitch on what he could possibly be looking for in a wife. And if the gorgeous Duchess of Vendar isn’t good enough, who is?
Meanwhile, Prince Callum has gone from dishy playboy to seemingly celibate. The Golden Boy hasn’t been photographed with a woman since last summer when he was linked with American designer Brit Malloy.
Perhaps the sudden changes in both princes stem from King James’s health issues. Though the palace has yet to issue an official statement and refused to comment at the time of publication, our source tells us that the king is gravely ill. King James has made only a handful public appearance in months, with Prince Phillip assuming his role at diplomatic meetings and public functions alongside his mother, Queen Suzette.
We invite the palace to put all rumors to rest by giving an official statement and we invite you to vote in our poll below on which prince has the best abs! See photos below— hello, Thirst Trap!
CHAPTER 1
Phillip
The door to my office bursts open, the way it only does when it’s my younger brother, Callum.
That is, unless this is the start of a coup, which is highly improbable given the current stability and security in Elsinore. Claudius jumps to his feet, as though he plans to defend me. Even more improbable than a coup. Claudius is a top-notch advisor but in no way a bodyguard.
I glare as Callum sweeps into the room, all bright smiles, indecently short tennis shorts, and sweat-damp hair. He must have come straight from the courts, while I’ve been at my desk since before the sun rose.
A tale of two princes. Other than our builds—tall and broad, our hair—wavy and blond, and our eyes—a bright blue, Callum and I have very little in common.
Claudius sinks back into his chair.
Callum squeezes the advisor’s shoulder before flopping down in the chair next to him. “Claud. Good to see you.”
“Please refrain from calling me Claud.”
“Sure thing, Claw.” Callum picks up a pen from my desk and twirls it expertly between his fingers. “I came by to see if you wanted to have lunch later, but it looks like I crashed a secret meeting.”
Claudius and I exchange a glance, because actually—yes. He did.
One I’m still trying to wrap my head around. Even though all of this was my idea, now that it’s becoming reality … I’m more than a little overwhelmed. And definitely self-conscious about sharing the details with my brother.
Callum drops the pen and leans forward, eyes shining. “You are having a secret meeting! Brilliant! What are we plotting?”
Before I can stop him, my brother snatches the folder off my desk. With a sigh, I lean back in my chair. The last thing I want is Callum sticking his nose into the delicate matter before Claudius and I iron out all the details. Though I suppose I am going to need Callum’s nose (and the rest of him) to pull this off.
Callum flips through page after page, looking amused. “Well, this is unexpected. Dear brother, why do you have a dossier of single women throughout Europe?”
When I don’t answer immediately, my brother’s eyes take on a glint I do not particularly like. It is the same one he had when arranging to send swans to King Rafe and Queen Serafina as a prank.
“Are you planning to star in your own royal edition of The Bachelor?” Callum asks.
I frown. Is that some American reality TV show? Claudius coughs and looks as though he’s hiding a smile behind his hand.
“You’d make for great television—all stoic and noble while women have catfights in bikinis over who gets to sit beside you at dinner. I love it. Can I be your wingman?”
“Absolutely not. No television. No catfights. No wingmen.” I pause. “I’m searching for a wife.”
Callum’s eyes go wide, and he drops the folder. Papers scatter and Claudius—with an irritated sigh—helps gather them back together.
“Since when do you want to get married?” Callum asks, tucking the last papers back into the folder. I reach for it, but he pulls it to his chest. “I thought you were dead set against the idea.”
“No. I’m simply not interested in any of the women Mum and Dad have been parading through the palace.”
“What’s so wrong with the women they’ve suggested, if you don’t mind me asking? The Duchess of Vendar wasn’t beautiful enough for you?”
“The Duchess of Vendar was indeed beautiful. And she knew it.”
Not unlike most of the other “suitable” women my parents have been not-so subtly suggesting, the duchess was titled, entitled, and completely … wrong. If I’m choosing a wife, I am far more interested in what lies beneath the surface. And so far, the supposedly “good” candidates my parents have suggested are puddle deep.
“She did spend an awfully long time at dinner discussing the evils of open-toed shoes,” Callum says thoughtfully.
“I think her passion for the subject rivals Henrietta’s feelings about heels. Which is fine for Henri … considering our sister is barely eighteen. I’d prefer to find a woman who hasn’t been handed every opportunity. Someone with a strong work ethic, someone who isn’t titled.”
“I can understand that. The duchess was no good for you. I concede your point. It’s just …” Callum shoots a sideways glance at Claudius before meeting my gaze again. He lowers his voice. “I actually wasn’t sure you liked women at all.”
“Just because I rarely date—”
“Never.” Callum coughs into his hand.
“Just because I rarely date,” I repeat, “it doesn’t mean I don’t like women.”
I do like them … generally speaking. I simply haven’t met any particular woman who interested me beyond simple physical attraction. And I’ve never wanted a relationship based solely on that. Physical attraction is like low-hanging fruit. Common. Not hard to find. Attraction isn’t the problem.
The problem is that I want—no, need—something more. I need the kind of woman I will want beside me not just in sickness and in health, but in kingdom-ruling as well. I don’t have the luxury of choosing a woman just for myself. I’m choosing a woman for the people of Elsinore too. And so far, no woman I’ve met fits this description. Not even close.