Chapter One
The Past
“Be good, mi hijo. Watch your hermano,” my mother whispers, softly. Her palm caresses the top of my head. The scent of lavender washes over me as she leans down to kiss my forehead, then Benicio’s. My baby brother.
“¿Cuándo vuelves?” I question when she’ll return. I stare past her and out the window. The orange glow of the pole light signals that it’s nighttime. She does this often. Leaves us alone in the middle of the night to go to work.
“Te prometo que volveré pronto.” Soon, she promises. She pats my head, leaving us alone in a roach infested motel room. It’s not the first time or the last. The muscles of my stomach tighten and clench as the deep growl of hunger roars. My brother and I were put to bed hungry. It’s nothing new. I chew the inside of my cheek, debating whether or not I want to risk waking Beni. He can’t help it, but my brother is a crybaby. Always whining for food or for me to play with him.
Things weren’t so bad till he came along. I didn’t go as hungry, and we had a nicer motel room. It’s not his fault. Though sometimes I hate him for existing. I get stuck having to care for him.
The hunger pangs deepen, and I scowl at Beni as he sleeps peacefully, unaware that Mom can’t afford to feed us. He at least got milk earlier. All that was left for me was some tap water out of the bathroom sink. Sometimes Mom hides crackers. She says we can’t keep much here, or the roaches will get in it. I told her she should move us to a better place, and she backhanded me.
Sometimes she gets me cereal from the food pantry. Except it’s always stale and old.
I hate it here.
Mom’s been gone two days and Beni won’t stop crying. Someone keeps knocking at our door, but Mom told me not to open it for anyone but her. I don’t know what to do. I’m scared. I wish she’d come back.
I wrap my arms around my brother, begging him to be quiet. I tried turning the volume up on the Tv to drown out his cries, but that only made him worse. I rock him back and forth the best I can like Mom did when he was smaller and fussing all the time. I’m not as successful in my attempt.
The voices outside our door grow louder. Someone’s shouting and beating the door so hard the window rattles as though it may break. The door opens and some greasy dude who works here stares at my brother and me with pity in his eyes.
A police officer enters the room. “Fucking hell,” he mutters, taking in the state of our living conditions. “You’re going to be okay.” He offers me a smile and a candy bar.
It’s the first of many lies.
“Where are you taking my brother?” I run toward the woman carrying Benicio away from me. Beni howls at the top of his lungs, red faced and snotty. His dark hair that matches my own curls around his ears. His chubby cheeks stained with tears. He reaches over her shoulder. His hands outstretched, unable to reach me.
“He’s dehydrated. I’m taking him to a doctor.”
“I want my mom.”
“I’m sorry. That’s just not possible. Someone will be here to get you soon, okay?” The woman beams at me, but there’s nothing kind behind her eyes. All I see are her unspoken lies.
I kick at the legs of the desk in front of me. “Necesito ver a mi mamá.” I want to see my mom.
“Stop that,” a grouchy man barks at me as he types on his computer. “I don’t know what you’re saying. Speak English. I know you can.”
“What about my brother?” I’ve not seen him since that lady took him.
“Son, your mother has been detained. I’m trying to locate a relative. Do you know your father’s name? Does your mom have any friends?”
I scowl at him. I’m not telling him anything. Mom always warned me about strangers and that one day we may be separated. She promised that we’d find each other again if it happened.
He presses a button on his phone. “Joyce?”
“Yeah, Bob?”
“Can you take him to get a sandwich or something?”
A minute later, the office door opens to a heavyset lady who wears too much perfume. Her shoes squeak on the floor as she walks. She smacks her lips together, chewing her bubble gum. A big bubble forms between the O of her lips, then pops. “Come on. Do you like peanut butter and jelly?”
The growl of my stomach responds before I can shake my head.
Present Day
Location Unknown
“Dad!” Letti squeals as the front door slings open.
My girl runs at me, nearly knocking me on my ass. Damn, she’s grown. “What’s this Dad business?” I glance toward the porch where Alisha stands with her hands on her hips, looking ticked off. Nothing new there. I had no business marrying her, but I wanted to do right by her and the kid.
“Xavier,” she mutters with pure disdain. Can’t blame her. I’m a shit husband.
Always on the road. Rarely available. She has no problem spending the money I transfer into her account each month, though. Gave her the house when we separated. One level, three bedrooms, two baths, with a two-car garage, and an in-ground pool. I make sure they always have the best. Alisha drives a top-rated SUV, and I made sure she has high end appliances. Nothing is too good for my girl and that means nothing is too good for her mother. As long as she’s raising my daughter, I’ll provide her with a good life.
I grin down at Letti as she hugs me tighter. Her dark eyes and dimples match mine, but the rest of her is all Alisha. Blonde hair, light skin, long legs. Got her mom’s attitude, too.
“Mom just made dinner.”
Alisha rolls her eyes but waves me inside.
The scent of chili attacks my senses. “Smells good in here.” My wife and I may not always see eye to eye, but I give credit where it’s due. The woman is a damn good mom. Our daughter is her entire world.
“We were just about to eat. I’ll grab you a bowl. What are you drinking?”
“How spicy did you make it?”
Her brows shoot up like she’s wondering why I’m bothering to ask. Letti has a stomach made of steel, like her old man. We love our food spicy.
“Take some milk.”
I pull up a seat and am waited on like a king. Letti pours me a glass of milk while Alisha fixes me a bowl. Our relationship isn’t ideal, but it works. I roll into town and stay a few days, weeks, or months until the open road calls my name. Alisha has come to understand and respect that I’m never gonna be steady in the sense of working a nine to five, but I’m unchanging. I’m static. She knows what she’s getting. A man who supports her but can’t be held down by the conformities of society.
Letti fills me in on the latest ongoings of sixth grade. She has a new best friend and joined the academic team. My baby is a mathlete.
“Go on and get washed up for bed.”
“But…”
“No, but to it.”
“Listen to your mother. I’ll drop you at school in the morning.”
Letti beams at the news and darts down the hall.
Alisha clears the table while I light up a smoke. “Wish you’d do that outside.”
“You gonna act like you’re not happy I’m here.” I slide a hand around her waist.