“Everywhere” by Fleetwood Mac
Requested by [email protected]
I’m sweating.
I haven’t seen Holly in two days, and I’m starting to get worried she’s going to get cold feet. She stayed at the cabin while I’ve been staying at a little motel in town. She takes the whole not seeing each other before the wedding thing very seriously.
“You clean up pretty well,” Henry says as he walks in from outside. Behind him, I get a glimpse of the sky. It’s grey and threatening snow, the cold wind following him into the small, warm space.
“So do you,” I tell him, bringing him in for a hug, “I think this is the first time I’ve seen you clean-shaven in months.”
“Only the best for Holly,” he jokes, pulling away and reclining in one of the chairs.
We’re both dressed in navy blue suits, our hair pushed back and our beards gone. When I look at him, all I can see is me at his age. He somehow got everything from me and nothing from his mother, whereas Charlotte is the spitting image of her mother.
I can only hope he doesn’t make the same foolish mistakes that I did at his age.
“How’re your studies?” I ask him, speaking of mistakes.
He sighs and rolls his eyes, his hands running down his face.
“They’re fine.”
“You know if they slip too far down the scale, you’re going to get benched.” It’s the only way I can get to him, the looming threat of losing hockey. I’ve tried so many other ways, but he doesn’t seem to care about anything except his stick and puck.
“Can we talk about literally anything else?” he asks, his voice filled with annoyance.
Fair enough. Today doesn’t need to be marred by my hounding him about his grades. Even though they are just as important. I just want to get it through his head that his first employers will look at his GPA. They will care. Even if his first employers end up being in the hockey business.
“Yes, fine,” I give in, sitting on the end of the bed opposite him. I study him for a moment as he looks out the big window to his right.
“You’ve grown up to be a man I’m quite proud of, you know,” I tell him. I know I don’t tell him enough, and something about today is making me sentimental. I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to make it through today without crying. Especially once I see my girls standing up there.
Charlotte is with Holly, helping her and Holly’s mom with getting the place ready for the few guests we’ve invited and making sure Holly isn’t trying to micromanage everything herself. I’ve told her plenty of times in the last month that today is her day, and she should relax and enjoy it…let other people take care of the stressful stuff.
But if I know her, she’s probably been walking around the cabin in her wedding dress, rollers in her hair, and makeup half-done to make sure no one needs anything from her.
God, I love that woman.
Henry smiles over at me and nods.
“I know.”
“I don’t tell you enough. I know I don’t. Your mom has always been better at expressing herself, but I’m trying to get better.” I lean forward and pat his knee, making sure he’s really looking at me. “I love you, and I’m so proud of you, Henry.”
He takes my hand and squeezes it.
“I know, Dad. I love you, too.” He smiles at me. “Wedding got you feeling a little emotional?”
“A bit,” I admit, laughing as I pull away. “Seems weird to be doing this all over again at my age.”
“At your age,” he sighs, rolling his eyes. “You act like you have a foot in the grave. You just turned fifty-one.”
“Over the hill,” I joke.
“Yeah, yeah, old man.” His phone vibrates in his pocket, and he pulls it out, frowning.
“What is it?”
He sighs. “Meant to tell you when I got here. Emmy is here. She came with me.”
“Oh, that’s great! I didn’t know she was coming!” I’m excited to have her, but when I take in my son’s face, my smile falters. “Is that not a good thing?”
He gives me a look. A look that says I should know it’s not a good thing and that he doesn’t really want to talk about it. But a look like that only makes me want to ask more questions. Holly has told me to stop pushing him when it comes to Emmy, and I really have left the subject alone. But now…
“Tell me.”
He sighs.
“I know, I know. Holly told me to back off, but I know something is going on there, and I’d like to see if I can help. It may even just help to get the thoughts off your chest, yeah?”
He shoves his phone back into his pocket and reclines a bit more in the chair, his head falling back as he takes a deep breath.
“We slept together.”
Maybe he does have more of me in him than his mother.
“Okay,” I say, trying to keep my voice as neutral as I can. I have a lot of questions, but not sure where to start or how much he wants to divulge. We’ve had conversations like this before; we’re pretty open with each other. I always wanted both him and Charlotte to be safe and feel comfortable coming to me if they needed to. So this isn’t new territory.
It’s just new because it’s Emmy.
“It was after a hockey game. I wasn’t drunk, but I was tipsy. She…” He takes a deep breath. “She was stone-cold sober. I think if she had only done it because we were both tipsy, it wouldn’t be such a big deal. But…”
“But because she clearly wanted it without alcohol lowering her inhibitions, you now know that Emmy might have some feelings for you.”
“Exactly. And I don’t look at Emmy like that. She convinced me to bring her because she said she wanted to be here and celebrate with us. She pulls the whole I’ve known your family for years card. But I really don’t want her to think we’re dating now.”
“You have to communicate with her,” I tell him. “What have I always told you and your sister, huh?” I nudge him with my foot. “You have to communicate with the people in your life who are important to you. Is Emmy important to you? Is your friendship important?”
“Of course it is.”
“Okay, then. You need to make sure you’re talking to her. Make sure you are open and honest because the last thing you want to do is string her along and hurt her feelings, right?”
He looks over at me and nods.
“Where is she now?” I ask him.
“Dropped her off at the cabin earlier this morning to be with the girls.”
“Okay, good. Holly loves her and could probably use the help. Listen, this is not a conversation to have here or even in the car ride home. You can’t have this type of conversation when she is going to be stuck with you on the drive home.”
He snorts.
“I’m serious, Henry. Keep that shit in until you’re back on campus. Make sure she has a way to leave if she gets uncomfortable. Don’t trap her in a conversation she has no way out of.”
“Alright,” he sighs…again. My God, you would think this kid had the weight of the world on his shoulders the way he sighs every other sentence. Although looking back on my life when I was his age, I probably felt the same.