CHAPTER 1
EMERSYN
The hum of the engine vibrated through me where I sprawled on the bed in the back of the cab. Jasper had insisted on a solid eight hours of sleep on our last break. While I was pretty sure he hadn’t slept more than three hours, the other five had been very enthusiastic.
“Gonna pull off up here for coffee, Swan,” he said in a husky, sex-drenched voice that sent shivers through me. “The restrooms are clean, and secure. We can also shower if you want.”
Stretching a bare leg out and propping my foot against the passenger seat, I grinned. “We?”
His soft chuckle confirmed what I’d heard. “Yes, ma’am. If you’re getting naked anywhere, I’ll be right there. Security first.”
Rolling onto my side, I propped my head up on my fist. “Well, never let it be said I’m not security-minded. I promised Kellan I would follow all the rules.”
“All of them?” The level of suggestion in his tone just made me grin wider. “Remind me to thank Kellan when I get back.”
“I’ll thank him for both of us if you want…”
“Damn,” he exhaled the word. “You know, I think we may be a little late getting back on this run.”
I was still laughing as I sat up and looked around for where my clothes had landed. When Kellan first suggested that I go with Jasper on this run, I was a little concerned about the why. Since Bodhi’s surprise appearance and the news about my mother, it had been one of the only things I could think about.
Saving Mom was already on the list, but no one was willing for me to go to the facility where she was being kept. Not even as her daughter. Especially not as her daughter. The only people behind her being committed had to be Dad or Uncle Bradley.
I could understand their concern, yet it didn’t change the fact that I was worried about her. I’ve been worried about her for a while, and a little afraid. The questions of if she knew, what she knew, and when she knew it—they were all there.
But she was still my mom. She’d still wanted me and been on my side. Maybe it was foolish to hold onto that thought…
“Swan?”
I blinked the tears then swiped my hand over my face to erase the evidence that splashed to my cheeks. “I’m here.” I cleared my throat. “Did you throw my clothes up there?”
He cut a glance toward me. “Behind you… and what’s wrong?”
A wet laugh escaped me as I twisted and turned to find my clothes. He really had just tossed them up and over. “I was thinking about my mom. Then…” Shaking out my t-shirt, I tugged it over my head. I had no idea where the bra was, but I could find it later.
I used a wipe to clean up a little before I pulled on my panties and finally wiggled into the jeans, then climbed down into the passenger seat.
“Then?” he prompted as he passed me water.
Uncapping the bottle, I stared out the window at the scattered traffic ahead. Despite all the shows I’d done and the scant number of hours on a tour bus, this was honestly my first time in an 18-Wheeler.
I liked it.
Thrusting a hand under my hair, I lifted it out of my shirt collar and leaned back, bare feet propped against the dashboard. “Then I wondered if I should be worrying. Bodhi brought us the information almost a week ago, and we haven’t done anything yet.”
With a sigh, I tilted my head back.
“And that sounded like a complaint.” With all they did for me, how hard was a little patience?
“It was a complaint,” Jasper said without irony or recrimination. “You’re allowed to complain, Swan. It’s not going to bother me or anyone else.”
I cast a smile at him, and he brushed his fingers down my cheek. Too soon, my smile faded. “What if I’m wrong about her?” I didn’t think I was. I didn’t want to be wrong.
“Then you find out,” Jasper told me, his voice never once wavering. “Parents don’t have to be perfect for us to love them. They can be weak, and they can be frail. They can be mean sons of bitches too. Does it make us less for loving them?”
Twisting a little in the seat, I stared at him. “You are not the one I would pick for the philosopher.”
His snort delighted me; it was so derisive. “I’m not a philosopher. I’m a student of life, and I’ve got the scars to prove it.”
Yes, he did have scars. The thought sobered me. Two of those scars were still healing and even though Doc had taken him off restrictions, he was still supposed to take it easy. Not that it slowed him down.
Before I could respond, he reached over to catch my hand. “Emersyn, you are allowed to love her. Now, the question of whether you can trust her is one we need to answer, but we will get her out for you and you can have the time to figure out what you need to figure out.”
I squeezed his hand. “You guys do so much for me.”
“Not enough,” he said, the rumble in his voice deepening. “Not soon enough, either.”
Cheek pressed to the seat, I studied the hard lines of his profile. A fierce expression had taken up residence there as he scowled through the windshield.
“Jasper,” I murmured, and the corner of his mouth curved.
“You don’t have to comfort me.”
Really? I raised my eyebrows. “You didn’t have to save me either.”
That got me a growl as he cut those stormy gray eyes at me. “That’s not funny.”
“Neither is you being upset about something you didn’t know about, nor could have changed…” I sighed. This was not where I’d seen this conversation going while my body was still humming from his touch after our last break.
“It was our job to protect you,” he argued. “We’ve always agreed to that being our task from the moment they adopted you, and we wanted to keep track of you. Be able to be there whenever you needed us. Not that…” It was his turn to trail off.
He’d released my hand and put both of his on the steering wheel, where the knuckles went white.
“No one saw what was happening,” I told him as gently as I could. “No one was allowed to know, I learned that very young. The only people I ever told… they died.”
He flexed his fingers on the steering wheel. This was not a conversation I’d had with him yet. The others knew, but they weren’t revealing it until I was ready. While Jasper had been wounded, I’d been worried about telling him.
Wounded or not, I was actually scared to tell him. I didn’t know what he would do. Of all of them, Jasper’s temper had seemed the worst. He’d been almost volcanic when I first showed up.
Yet beneath all the glares, scowls, and harsh words was a powerful heart with a deep-set loyalty that threaded his core. His fury with Liam had been about perceived betrayal and his fight with Milo was over the loss of him, coupled with the idea that Milo didn’t want me with any of them.
It put Jasper in a harsh place. Then the day Jasper asked me if the idea of them torturing Eric turned me on, and well, yeah—it definitely had. “I want to tell you something,” I said slowly. “It’s a story about me, my family, and why I’m worried…”
Opening the water bottle, I took a longer, deeper drink of it. I almost wished it was alcohol. Or a cigarette. Or… just about anything to steady my nerves.