Girl off the Grid
Thrown together on an eco-trip to Costa Rica, fashion blogger Camille and photographer Adam instantly hate each other. But as they journey off the grid together, they realize there’s a fine line between love and hate.
Books by my daughter, Kenzie Hart:
The Curious Swan
A sweet, whimsical romance set in the English countryside with a Jane Austen/Alice in Wonderland vibe.
I Fall Apart
This beautiful love story told in verse will take you on an emotional journey—from the happiness of falling in love to the sadness of heartbreak.
Tuesday, October 22nd
Only Harry.
9:30pm
“Will you come to Shanghai?”
Harry’s question hangs in the air between us. I look up into his blue eyes, hoping to find clarity.
Hoping to not feel so lost.
But suddenly, I feel frozen.
Alone.
It’s like I’m on a deserted island and my only chance of escape is flying away from me. I want to jump up and down, get someone’s attention, scream out, Help, but I can’t.
I’m stuck, feet in the sand, unable to move.
But I have to do something.
My fingers finally curl, and I dig my nails into Harry’s shoulders. I need to come back to myself.
This isn’t some life-or-death question.
This is just Harry, asking if I will go on a trip with him.
But his question doesn’t feel small.
And it makes time slow down around me until I notice that I’m at a complete standstill.
My cheeks drain of their color, and I feel my hands grow cold.
All the noise from the party disappears.
And then there is only Harry.
Two blue eyes looking down at me.
Two blue eyes filled with hope.
All I can see is him.
All I can see is the future he wants me to say yes to.
My answer isn’t just about a trip.
He wants an answer to the question that he’s been thinking about. Hinting at. He wants an answer to the question that Noah’s been worrying about. To the question I’ve been avoiding.
Do Harry and I have a chance?
And I have to give him an answer.
Right here.
Right now.
I slam my eyes shut as bile rises in my throat. I suddenly feel sick. The noise from the party comes rushing back into my ears. The smell of alcohol and smoke is too thick. And Harry’s fingers gently cupping my waist suddenly feel like chains.
I weave my brows together, wondering if I’m having a panic attack.
I’ve never had one before, but I imagine this is what it feels like.
“Mallory?” Harry’s fingers leave my waist with his words, quickly easing some of the pressure crushing my chest. He says my name again, and I try to focus on him.
On his voice.
“Harry,” I mumble, letting my fingers slide down from his shoulders onto his chest.
“Are you all right?” he asks. This time, his voice is clearer, and I can hear the concern in it.
I shake my head, my eyes still shut.
“Can you walk me to the bathroom, please?” It’s the only thing I can think to ask. To do.
Hopefully, it will be quieter there.
I will be able to catch my breath. And think.
“Of course.” When Harry takes ahold of my arm, I finally open my eyes.
I know I should look up at him and show him I’m okay. But I can’t.
Because I don’t feel that way.
Instead, I keep my gaze on the floor and focus on not crashing into anyone as we move off the dance floor and down a hallway. Harry stops, asking one of the waiters for directions to the bathroom. When we finally arrive, I let out an exhale. Relief floods through me at the promise of a wall being between us. But as I grasp on to the door handle, Harry takes my hand in his.
He turns me, so I finally have to look up at him.
“Mallory, I didn’t mean to upset you,” he says, looking worried and confused.
My stomach drops.
“I’m not upset.” I try to keep my voice firm, but it suddenly feels quiet and small.
“You don’t have to give me an answer tonight. We’ve got the private jet, so tickets aren’t an issue. I know you’re a planner. You’re probably just processing—” Harry goes on, but I quickly stop him.
“Just give me a few minutes. I’ll be right back,” I say, releasing his hand and pushing into the bathroom. When I close the door on him, I feel terrible.
But I also feel instant relief.
I turn the lock and slide my back down against the door until I’m sitting on the floor.
My head falls back, and I take in a large gulp of air. Without thinking, I pull out my phone and click on one of my favorited contacts.
The call rings for only a few seconds before Anna picks up.
“Hello?” Her bright voice echoes through the phone.
“Anna, I—” I close my eyes again, not sure what to say. I don’t know why I even called her.
“What’s wrong?” Anna says, immediately sounding worried.
I let out a long, slow exhale.
“I miss you.” It’s the only thing that comes out of my mouth.
“I miss you too,” Anna says warmly. “Now, tell me what’s going on.”
“I think I just had a panic attack. Or I’m having one.”
“You what?!” Anna exclaims. “Mallory, are you okay?”
I shake my head to myself.
“Honestly, I have no idea what’s going on with me. But I need to figure it out.”
“Are you all right? What happened?” Anna asks.
I can hear the concern in her voice, and immediately, I want to tell her that it’s okay.
That I’m okay.
But I really don’t know if I am.
“I just, I need to talk through something with you. It’s about Harry.”
As the words leave my mouth, the pressure on my chest eases ever so slightly.
“Harry?” Anna asks, obviously surprised. “I figured if anyone led you down the road to a panic attack, it would be Noah.”
A laugh escapes from my lips at that, making me feel better.
Because she kind of has a point.
But then I grow serious again.
“I’m Harry’s date tonight. We’re at his family’s friends’ dinner party. It’s something I agreed to go with him to, but—” I struggle to find the right words.
My thoughts and emotions are everywhere. I don’t know where the anxiety pulsing through me starts or stops, and finding the thread—the reasoning behind my feelings—well, it isn’t easy.
“And you miss Noah?” Anna asks, trying to fill in the gaps.
“No. Well, yeah, of course I do. But, Anna, Harry asked me to go to Shanghai with him. Like, tomorrow.”
Anna gasps into the phone. “No way!”
“Yeah.”
“Uh! I’m so jealous. That’s amazing, Mallory. Why can’t I be the one jetting off? I mean, seriously. First London. Now Shanghai.”
“Anna, I can’t go,” I say, cutting her off.
“Right, because your parents are coming into town,” Anna says, like she understands my reason. “Well, you could always call and ask them. I mean, you’re right. They’ll probably say no. But it doesn’t hurt to ask!”