Chapter One
“Every passing moment is a chance to turn it all around.”
Unknown
Seventeen years was a long damn time to wait for an apology.
But if Maddie Christopher was ever going to get any peace and closure in her life, she needed to bite the bullet and extend one.
Pulling into the parking lot of SEAL Security, she was surprised to find it full of cars on a Sunday afternoon.
Actually, she was hoping it would be empty and the offices closed so she could have one more day to mentally prepare, but clearly that wasn’t going to happen.
“Well…crap,” she muttered as she pulled into the first open space in sight.
Facing the building.
Obviously there was some sort of event going on, so it seemed like a sign that she could take a little more time to think about what she was going to say and how she was going to say it. It didn’t matter that she’d been thinking about it and rehearsing it in front of a mirror almost every night for a month. Saying the words to her own reflection was one thing; saying them to the man she’d wronged so long ago was another.
Her husband.
Ex-husband.
Wait…was he still an ex if the marriage was null and void because she lied on the license?
Either way, she was here to look Knox Channing in the eyes and apologize.
Maybe then karma would get the hell off her back and let her get her life together and find some happiness.
It wasn’t like Maddie hadn’t been happy in seventeen years. It was more like she felt like a shell of her former self. She’d gone to college, currently had a great job, owned her own house, drove a nice car, and had dated a handful of nice guys.
And if she were smart, she would have married one of them and started the family she’d always wanted.
“But I’m not smart,” she murmured with disgust. “I’m stupid. Stupid for still thinking about a guy from a whole other lifetime ago who probably hasn’t given me a second thought in all this time.” She sighed. “Why am I even here?”
Then she remembered.
A simple recent comment from her mother sealed Maddie’s fate and brought her here.
“When are you and that nice husband of yours going to have babies?”
That was it.
That was the question.
The funny thing was that her mother had early onset Alzheimer’s and normally couldn’t remember what happened yesterday, but for some reason, she suddenly chose to remember Knox. Not that Maddie had ever forgotten him, but no one dared to mention him in over fifteen years. That one random comment had sent her spiraling a bit and a wave of “what ifs” hit her with a near crippling force. Her therapist said the only way she could ever move on was if she got some closure. That meant she had to seek him out and talk to him and ask for his forgiveness.
Of course, this wouldn’t be an issue right now if Knox had answered any one of the dozens of letters she had sent him. Granted, the last time she wrote to him was close to fifteen years ago, but still.
They’d been young and in love and secretly eloped the weekend they graduated from high school. Maddie was only seventeen, but they said she was eighteen on the application for the license. The ceremony was in a cute little chapel up in Maryland and they had a honeymoon at a Holiday Inn off of I-95. When they got home and told her parents though, everything fell apart in the worst possible way.
She’d never been rebellious—ever. That weekend was the one and only time that she went after what she wanted. She loved Knox and was so excited to be his wife. That weekend they talked about leaving the small town outside of Richmond, Virginia where they grew up and moving to North Carolina.
Ironically, that was where he currently resided.
After everything happened, her parents sent her off for an extended stay with her aunt and uncle in Washington State. She’d written him so many letters apologizing, but never got a response. Then she found out he’d gone into the Navy and had to do a little detective work to get an address where she could write to him, but…she never got a response. Logic would dictate that he clearly wasn’t interested in what she had to say, but Maddie knew this was something she had to do.
She knew it even if her therapist hadn’t told her to.
And she’d still be procrastinating if she hadn’t gotten that postcard in the mail.
Which was weird.
It was a postcard for SEAL Security and the services they offered. There was literally no reason why Maddie should have been on their mailing list, but the timing was certainly convenient.
So now here she was and rather than getting out of the car and ripping the damn bandage off, she was rehashing history in her head.
“Dr. Marcia would say I’m reverting to my stalling tactics…” she groaned. “This shouldn’t be so hard!”
Basically, she was going to confront a stranger. She didn’t know this grown-up version of Knox Channing, so this shouldn’t be a big deal. Granted, she’d seen some pictures of him and wished she did know the grown-up version because he’d grown into a fine-looking man.
Not that she was surprised. He’d always been good looking and all the girls in school had crushed on him. But Maddie was the girl he picked–the one he fell for–and she was the envy of them all.
And then she was the girl everyone mocked because she was stupid enough to let him get away.
Not that she had a choice.
“Okay, no more of this,” she said firmly as she turned the car off and grabbed her purse. “No more stalling, no more depressing trips down memory lane.” Looking up at the big building, she let out a long breath. “Time to get this over with and move on.”
Walking across the parking lot, Maddie noticed that the people leaving the building were wearing baseball or softball uniforms. She didn’t know much about Knox’s business other than the fact that it was a training facility for bodyguards and security teams, but it looked like they also hosted ball games.
“Good for company morale, I guess…”
She hesitated slightly at the door, but when a group of people came out, she simply held the door and forced herself to step inside. Following the sounds of people talking and laughing, she made her way through a small office area and through a doorway that led to a massive gym. There were small groups of people scattered around the room and she scanned them all from her spot to see if she recognized Knox. It didn’t take long to realize she didn’t.
With no other choice, she walked to the first group and asked if anyone knew where he was, but they didn’t. Then she moved on to a second and then a third before she started to second-guess her decision to show up here today.
“Should have waited until tomorrow and normal office hours,” she said quietly before approaching a couple sitting on a pile of mats. “Excuse me?”
The dark-haired woman turned to her and smiled. “Hey! Can I help you?”
Glancing around nervously, she replied, “I’m looking for Knox Channing.”
They both stood and looked around the gym. “I think I saw him head into the locker room just a few minutes ago,” the guy said, pointing to a doorway in the corner.
“Thank you,” she said before turning and walking to the locker room door.