Maybe this is good, though—her realizing I’m a criminal in addition to being huge and unpleasant to look at. I’ll wither and die inside when she climbs off my lap and no longer wants anything to do with me, but it’ll be the best thing for her. What is the alternative? She stays with me forever? I do everything in my power to make her happy? Nothing—nothing I do could change the fact that she’s out of my league by a million miles. More.
She’d realize it eventually. Better to have her shy away from me now, afraid of my violent profession. Afraid of me.
“Yes, Fawn,” I push through stiff lips. “I’m a bad man.”
Her eyes well with tears. “No.”
“No?”
“You don’t want to be bad,” she whispers, laying a hand on my arm, which is still pointing the gun at Grim. She lowers it. And Jesus, I let her. Can’t do anything but stare into her beautiful golden eyes and let her disarm me, figuratively and literally. “You’re good. You’re a good man like the heroes in my stories.”
Not for the first time, she is bringing up these stories and my curiosity is more than piqued. “What stories are you talking about, baby?”
“The ones I found in the wall of the basement. About four years ago.” She wets her lips, growing visibly excited by the topic. “Notebooks and notebooks. Dozens of them. Filled with romantic tales. Although, the actual romance parts are pretty short.” Pink spots appear on her cheeks. “It’s mostly the characters spending time in bed together. Or, um…other places. Showers and tables and alleyways…”
“They have…”
“Sex,” she whispers, as if reciting a sacred prayer. “It’s time for me to try it myself now. For the first time. With you. It was always supposed to be you.”
Virgin. Of course she is.
Goddamn.
The urge to claim was already at a fever pitch, now it expands, rippling my muscles.
She’s back to grinding on my cock. Vision blurring from the immense pleasure, I can’t help opening my thighs slightly wider and tilting my lower body up at an angle for her. And she moans, bucking her hips eagerly. Fuck. Fuck, I’m going to come. Her pussy is so pliant through her threadbare panties. She’s a taut furnace—and those hips. The way they snap and drag. She’s such a flexible little thing. Driving me out of my fucking mind.
I wish like hell my conscience would shut up, but her statement won’t leave me alone. The longer I let her worship me like this, the guiltier I’ll be when it’s over.
It’s time for me to try it myself now. For the first time. With you.
It was always supposed to be you.
“I’d burn cities to the ground to have you, Fawn. If I thought you could be happy with me.” My hands are too filthy to touch her perfect skin, but I cup her face anyway, needing to impress upon her what I’m saying. Needing to have more contact with her. Before I never have the chance again. “You’ve been locked up, kept away from people. You don’t realize you’ve picked the ugliest son of a bitch out there to cozy up with. But you’ll realize it soon.” I can’t swallow past the fist-sized lump in my throat. “You’ve spent too long chained up. That’s exactly what I’d have to do to keep you with me. Once you see how much better you can do. I’d have to lock you in my basement. I can’t…I won’t do that.”
Fawn searches my eyes for long moments, then smiles softly. “See? I told you. A good man.” She leans in closer, her pupils dilating, tits flattening to my chest. And then, Jesus Christ, she kisses me. Her full lips settle over mine, suctioning gently, then she offers her smooth, wet tongue into my mouth, shooting my cock to stiffer attention. I can’t even function as she explores me with little licks that turn longer, longer, more eager. How is this happening? How is this girl whimpering, her legs restless, trying to climb higher on my body, clawing at my shoulders. Wanting it. Begging to be fucked.
I want it, too. I need it. Need to ruck up her dirty skirt, rip off her panties and bang this horny little angel until she’s satisfied. God, that would make me such a bastard. She’s under the false impression that I’m a good man. Doesn’t she realize why I was in her home in the first place?
As if overcome from the act of kissing, she collapses into me, breathing hard into the side of my neck. “Fawn…”
“Where are you taking me?” Her head lifts, hopeful eyes searching mine. “Your home?”
“My home,” I repeat dazedly. “No. I’m…”
“We’re taking you to the boss,” Grim says without turning to face us. “You’re collateral, honey. Ain’t you listening?”
“Shut your mouth,” I bellow, snapping my arm straight and leveling the gun at him once again. “I’m taking her to my place.”
Grim snorts. “You think we can return empty-handed? Frank might spare you. You’re too valuable. But me? He’ll put a bullet in my head before I walk through the front door.”
Fawn tugs on the collar of my shirt. “Why does he keep saying I’m collateral?”
Despite the situation, I love her ignoring Grim and asking me for the explanation. I love the total trust in her eyes, the loyalty. The way she regards me like…like I’m her Daddy and I have all the answers. Oh Jesus, am I already fucked? Am I really going to ruin this girl’s life to keep her in mine?
No. No, I can’t.
Steeling myself as much as possible against the need to soothe her, I deliver the harsh truth. She needs to hear it. She needs to know the truth about me. “Your father owed a debt to my boss and he couldn’t pay it. I was there, in your home, to end his miserable life.” Acid boils in my stomach. “You’re a placeholder for the money. Until he can come up with it.”
Which he never will. We’ll cross that bridge when we get there. But I can’t imagine she won’t be long gone by then.
Fawn rears back slightly, as if she’s been slapped. “I thought…I just thought you were there to rescue me.”
“I’m not a hero from your stories, all right?” I rasp, wanting to die.
Wanting to be her hero so badly, my heart is beating in my mouth.
For long moments, she can only study me, as if trying to read my mind. Can she? I swear, she’s looking right into my soul. Can she see it’s too black for someone so pure? “Well,” she murmurs unsteadily. “Joke is on you. My father doesn’t care enough about me to try and get me back. He’s probably grateful I’ve been taken off his hands.”
“That’s because he’s a goddamn fool,” I half shout.
“What does that make you? You don’t want me, either.”
I press our foreheads together, growling. “That’s bullshit and you know it.”
Her body begins to tremble. But not in fear. With desire. Keeping eye contact with me, she tugs down the bodice of her dress, exposing her tits to me and the bayou. “Prove it.”
Chapter Four
Fawn
For some reason, Benny is determined to make me believe the worst about him. Maybe I should. Maybe I should take a look at this man holding a gun and threatening the lives of others so casually and believe what he’s saying. Maybe I would if I couldn’t sense the turmoil in him. If he didn’t look me in the eye and essentially tell me he wants me, but he’s not good enough. If I hadn’t watched him for countless hours in the woods tending to sick animals.