My stomach does a flip at his words.
“I am because he asked,” I explain, glancing at Noah.
“I know.” Noah pushes the cart down an aisle and starts to unload it. “I wasn’t surprised he asked you.”
“You knew he would?”
Noah shrugs. “I thought he might.”
I grab a book, flipping it over in my hands. “Harry told his parents that I was his girlfriend. I’m not, but he explained that his mom asked about Olivia and was disappointed when she heard they broke up. I guess one thing led to another.”
“I think the idea of dating someone who his mum felt comfortable calling and trying to influence spooked Harry,” Noah admits.
“It would freak me out,” I agree.
“So, are you saying that my mum hasn’t rung you to try and straighten me out?” Noah says, his voice lightening.
“Do you need to be straightened out?” I laugh.
“Nope,” Noah says, pushing out his lips as he shakes his head.
I smile at him.
“Mmhmm. Say what you want, but we both know that you do.” I shake my head and shelve a book.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Mal. I’m a good boy, aren’t I?” Noah says, encroaching on my space. He’s wearing a knowing smile on his face as he looks down at me.
“Depends on the day,” I fire back.
“That’s probably fair.”
“So, are you nervous about tonight?” I ask, my mind moving to Harry.
To meeting his family.
“Not really. Are you?”
I swallow, trying to push down my anxiety.
“Yeah, a bit. I’m nervous to meet his parents. To come face-to-face with his dad. It’s going to be hard.”
Noah runs his hand back through his hair, his lips pulling into a flat line. “You just have to focus on being there to support Harry. Don’t worry about anything other than him. At least, that’s what I try to remind myself to do,” Noah says.
“You’re right. It just feels wrong. I don’t know if I can think of one good thing about tonight.”
“We’ll all be there,” Noah offers.
“We were all at lunch together,” I counter.
Noah’s eyes shift up to the corners as he thinks. “What about … seeing me in a suit?”
“I’m going to see you in a suit?”
“Mmhmm.” Noah nods. “Mum had it pressed yesterday.”
“What color is it?”
“Black,” Noah answers.
“I remember when you wore all black at Harry’s that one night. It was a little unearthly.” I laugh, grabbing another book.
“That was an interesting night,” Noah reflects.
And it was. It was the night that I thought Harry and I would sleep together.
It was the night that Noah asked me not to.
“What do you remember about it?” I ask him.
“Besides getting plastered, sulking, and admitting a few feelings?” Noah says easily, walking around the cart to grab a few more books.
“Besides that.”
“Probably finding that lingerie.” Noah’s eyes flick to mine.
“It wasn’t for you though,” I reply, feeling slightly guilty about him having found it. And for lying about wearing it.
“I’ve got a good imagination.” Noah grins at me.
“Well, I’m glad you have that good imagination. Because I don’t plan on having you see me in lingerie anytime soon.”
Noah’s hand comes up to my shoulder, pushing a piece of hair away from my face.
“You’re right.” Noah nods adamantly. “I think we should skip the lingerie altogether and get straight to it.”
“Noah,” I gasp, pushing him against the bookshelf. “Are you telling me that if you had the chance to see me in lingerie, you wouldn’t want to?”
“I thought you said it wasn’t for me?” Noah points out, his gaze falling down to my lips.
“It wasn’t for you.”
“Mal, it doesn’t matter what you wear,” Noah says, pulling me toward him by my wrists. “At some point, it will just come off.”
“What about last night?” I ask.
“What about it?”
“We never …”
“Kissed?” Noah finishes.
“No.”
“Can I ask you something, Mal?” Noah says, still holding on to my wrists.
“Sure.”
I search his face, my heart speeding up in my chest.
“How often do you think people come across this?”
“Come across what?”
Noah’s eyes slip down toward his hands. They’re still on my arms, and he gently slides them across my skin.
“Love is abundant. I won’t deny that. Connections are too. But us? It’s different than that, isn’t it? It’s … more. A lot more.”
Noah’s eyes come to mine as he waits for my answer.
And for the first time, it feels like he’s looking at me for guidance.
I move my eyes over his defined cheekbones, to his straight nose, and down to his rounded lips. But finally, I come back up to his eyes.
To him.
“It’s one plus one equals three,” I barely get out.
Noah nods. “We’re tangible. I feel it so clearly when we come together. There’s no denying it.”
And I know what he means.
Something else is between us when we’re together. There’s something else there. It isn’t him. It isn’t me. It isn’t just a connection linking us.
“Why haven’t we figured out a way to … come together then?”
Noah looks down at me and swallows. “Because we’re scared.”
“But what about Friday? Weren’t you scared then? When you told Harry how you … felt?” I ask.
Noah’s lips pull to the side, and he drops my arms. “I couldn’t let you leave without exploring this. Without feeling all of you. We were powerful before we ever touched. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like as more.”
“You think about what we would be like together?”
“Yes,” he replies.
“But I thought that you … couldn’t do that?” I look to Noah, confused.
“Do what?”
“Be with me.”
“Because I’ve been upset,” Noah says, understanding what I mean. He grabs the cart, moving it to the next aisle.
“Noah, Harry told me something,” I say hesitantly, trying to work up the courage to finish.
Noah nods, urging me to continue.
“He told me that he thinks we should explore what we have.”
Noah stops the cart and stares directly at me. “Do you want that?”
I grab a book, fidgeting with it in my hands. “It seems almost overwhelming,” I admit.
“That’s because we’ve got a lot of energy set aside for one another, I think.”
I put the book on the shelf as Noah grabs a stack from the cart, handing me another one.
“You mean, pent-up sexual energy?” I laugh.
“Maybe a bit.” Noah grins. And it’s a wide, deep grin that I don’t want to look away from.