Lust roared through my veins. All the need from last night. All the pent-up desire, possessiveness, and fear when I’d seen Jareth holding her in the dark overflowed.
I couldn’t catch a proper breath as I lay over her, pressing her onto her back and settling between her legs. Our lips connected again, dancing over each other, our tongues touching almost shyly.
All the darker urges to possess and claim faded away. I’d hurt her again. I was done hurting her. From now on, I would only touch her with the gentleness she deserved.
Her head raised off the grass as she kissed me deeper, sending a tangle of heat between my legs. I hardened. I wanted.
I opened my mouth wider for her, sinking into the kiss but refusing to let her push me into places I couldn’t control.
I kept most of my weight on my elbows, either side of her body. I kept my touch soft and loving. For the first time in my life, I didn’t want to rush sex. I didn’t want to get it over with to avoid pain. I didn’t want to finish to prove I was in command. I was free of that shit and lost in the moment with her.
Just her.
Gemma in my arms, her taste on my tongue, her body pinned beneath mine.
I didn’t need to dominate to be free of my own wounds. I didn’t need to hurt her to fulfill a sick revenge. I was free. Free to enjoy every fleeting touch, every gasp, every lick.
“Kas...” She tried to pull me closer. “I need you.”
I shook my head, guilt smothering me. “I shouldn’t have started this.” I nuzzled into her neck, kissing my way across her bruises. “You’re hurt. I should let you rest.”
She arched her throat, allowing me greater access. “I should push you away and order you to never come near me again.”
I sucked in a harsh breath as my head shot up. “Is that what you want?”
Her hazel eyes glowed. “Not at all.”
“Then why—”
“You said you should let me rest. And I replied with an equally silly suggestion.”
I scowled. “It’s not silly that I finally value your life. That I would rather end my own than yours.”
She cupped my cheek. “No, that’s not silly.” Pulling me down for a kiss, she murmured into my mouth, “Just like it’s not silly for me to admit that I love you too. That all the should-dos and common sense decisions no longer have any hold on us. Only we matter. Only we understand why we can’t fight this. Why we’re no longer in control of how we feel, how we should act, or what we should do.” She ran her touch over my cheekbone. “I don’t take a single second with you for granted. I’m grateful that Jareth didn’t knock out more of your memory. I’m thankful that you remember. That you remember me. That you...love me.”
“Always.” I kissed her, harder this time, balancing on soft and savage.
She moaned as our tongues swept and stroked.
Letting some of my weight blanket her, I gave in to the heady sensation of just kissing. Nothing more. I wanted to memorize every inch. To take my time. To touch her with whispers instead of horrors.
I want to be worthy.
Her heart pounded against mine as our kiss grew deeper. A throaty moan escaped her and I pulled back, locking eyes with her. I searched her heated stare, her slightly drunken face.
“Do you want me to stop?” I asked.
I’d never been asked that.
Never understood the power in such words or the way they’d flash through me with even more love for this girl. I had it wrong. I didn’t need to vandalize and monopolize her to be vindicated. I just needed to let her in. To love. To be brave enough to give up my life for someone worthier than me.
She shook her head, wincing a little from the fresh bruises around her neck. “No.”
I looked around us, drinking in the forest with shards of sunlight spearing through the trees. It was beautiful and also wild. It offered food and a home but could also kill without malice or care. The fact that I had Gemma on her back while she held my heart in her hands, in the very same place where death and life resided, was symbolic.
We lay in the center of a circle. The circle of life as it ebbed and flowed, not caring who it hurt, blessed, or doomed. Beneath us were bones of animals and people. Their remains now part of the woods that’d sustained me for the past decade while I’d waited for salvation.
Goosebumps shot down my back.
I wanted her.
The desire in my blood was hungry for connection and pleasure, but it was more than that. I wanted to sink inside Gemma while we lay on the top of dead bastards. I wanted them to see what love looked like, not hate. As much as they’d tried to rob me of a future, I wanted them to know that this incredible girl had given it back to me.
I want to show them I survived.
I needed her to understand that. That this wasn’t me unable to control myself. That I wasn’t twisted enough to lay claim to her after another man had knocked me out. Wherever Jareth was, I was grateful. I would shake his hand the next time we met because he’d protected her for me, from me.
“I want you.” I brushed aside a lock of hair on her cheek. “I want you, away from Fables, beneath the sun and amongst the trees. But most of all, I want you here. Where I ended a nightmare and chose a different future. I know now why I didn’t leave this valley.” I nudged her nose with mine. “I was waiting for you. I was waiting to live and now...now I want to start living. I want you to show me how. I want...”
Her lips smashed against mine, violent when I was doing my best to be gentle. Her hands looped into my hair, pulling me onto her.
“Gem—” I mumbled between kisses. “Tell me to stop if you’re too sore. If I hurt you too much—”
“Shut up, Kas.” She opened wider, kissing me harder.
With a groan, I gave in.
I let her sweep me out of the shame of hurting her and straight into intoxication. Her hips rose beneath me, her feet hooking against the back of my thighs as her nightgown rose up her legs.
Something let go inside her. Propriety fell away. The way she rocked against me, kissed me, and invited more reminded me of something.
Something on the outskirts of my mind.
Something...familiar.
The slosh of water came and went.
The crackle of a fire.
The heat of her body and wetness of her need as I slid inside her.
Her lusty scream as I fucked her, sending water spilling over the—
My eyes flew wide as pieces of something forgotten exploded into my mind. “I remember...”
She searched my face, lips kiss-swollen and breath quick. “Remember what?”
“The bath.”
She froze for a second, then smiled. “You do?” Taking a breath, she added, “All of it? What we talked about? What we did?”
“I remember fucking you. You...wanted me. You honest to fucking God wanted me.”
Her cheeks blazed. “I did.” She rose up and kissed me. “I want you now.”
I shook my head with disbelief. No lies in her tone. No ulterior motives. Just honesty and love.
I folded over her, kissing her reverently.
Another spark ignited in her. She bit my bottom lip, demanding more.
My mind swam, but I did my best to stay soft, slow, gentle.
She let out a frustrated groan. “Stop holding back.”
“I’m trying to give you what you deserve.”