“Again, one time!” I splash her.
She laughs and splashes me back.
I want to say it should always be like this.
But it’s too hard to get the words out of my mouth.
I’m so tired of fighting.
But I have to do it.
“You can get in if you want,” I say, mouth dry, vision blurring yet again when she’s close because my control is nil.
Hah, nil, fun word.
Control it, control it, control it.
I exhale.
I breathe in the outside air.
I feel the warm water on my skin.
I’m calm again.
Rustling sounds. I look up; she’s in nothing but athletic black spandex shorts that leave zero to the imagination as they ride up her ass and a pink sports bra. “It’s colder than I remember.”
It’s the same temperature, but she nips out anyway— from the water or me? I’m not sure, but it’s doing jack shit for my self-control.
“Come here,” I whisper, my vision tunneling.
I pull myself back, I breathe her in.
She wades over to me.
I draw her down; her legs fall on either side of me, her expression nearly drunk as my cock presses between her thighs.
It was never just sex with her.
It was love at first insect.
Love at first laughter.
Love at first sight is complete bullshit—it’s always ever been love at every first with Izzy Abandonato
And now, she doesn’t even know, we’re done experiencing our firsts.
We’re experiencing our lasts.
Our last kiss.
Our last moments.
Our last laughter.
Our last hug.
Fight.
Our last everything.
And I can’t even fucking tell her.
She cups my face. “I really, really hated Jenna.”
“Oh, good. Exactly what I wanted to discuss with your hot body straddling my cock. Please continue. What exactly did you hate? Should we make a list? Love a good pro and con.”
She pinches my nipple.
“Hey!”
She pinches the other. I bat her hand away.
I always forget how easy it is to love someone so good.
It’s like simply existing.
I wrap her long dark hair around my hand, fisting it and bringing her mouth close. “Can we forget we aren’t friends right now? Can you forget you still hate me and that I hurt you? For just ten seconds?”
“Why ten seconds?” she asks, blue eyes peering into mine like she can see my soul. “Why not eleven or twelve?”
I tug harder. “Pain in my ass, always asking questions.”
She squirms on my lap. “Pain in my ass, always asking for favors.”
“Fine, twelve. I’ll give you two extra seconds.”
She gasps. “That’s not what I meant.”
“I know, but I can’t say no to a good bargain. You upped it to twelve, so twelve it is. Can you just be Izzy right now? Can you just… exist under the stars, no love, no war, no enemies, no killing, no fighting. Can I just… be with you?”
Tears fill her eyes. “I wish I could say I could do twelve seconds and forget all of those things.” She presses a hand to my heart. “But I can’t.”
“Then lie,” I beg, feeling the tunnel vision, the anger, the tears of unfairness. “Lie to me.”
“Maks…” A tear spills down onto her cheek.
“Please.” I suddenly feel desperate as I pull her close.
Her arms wrap around my neck as she moves against my body like we’re about ready to have sex only to freeze.
My mouth finds hers.
She’s warm and tastes like red wine and perfection. Our tongues are slow, and I count again.
It’s what I do now.
I count not to keep calm.
But as a count down.
So I’m not caught by surprise when I hit zero.
Twelve.
Eleven.
Ten.
Nine.
Eight.
She deepens the kiss as I wrap my arms around her body and dig my hands deeper into her hair, pulling her so close that I feel her breasts rubbing against my chest, her thighs pressing against my cock.
Seven.
If I die now, I will smile; it will be sad.
It will be worth it.
She breaks the kiss then dives back in, parting my lips with her tongue, breaking my heart with how achingly slow she kisses me back like she too has a countdown and needs to savor this moment.
Six.
Five.
Four.
She clings to me then, like she knows it’s close.
The end.
I cling back because I know we’re on borrowed time.
Three.
God, she’s pretty as she moves against me. She needs to get off; she’s so close that I don’t think I’ll have to do more than reach down and use my hand.
So I do it.
Quickly.
She falls apart instantly.
Two.
She collapses against me.
One.
Still alive.
Still, a dead man walking.
Chapter Six
“With every day, and from both sides of my intelligence, the moral and the intellectual, I thus drew steadily nearer to that truth, by whose partial discovery I have been doomed to such a dreadful shipwreck: that man is not truly one, but truly two.” —Robert Louis Stevenson
Izzy
Like a scared idiot, I immediately snatched up my clothes and ran back to the house. He gave me an orgasm with his palm.
It took him less than two seconds.
His. Palm.
I was both embarrassed and horrified that all it took was one little touch of his warm hand, a flick of his tongue, and I was owned, yet again, by the boy I’d loved and the man he had turned into, the one I hated.
A man I no longer recognized.
Why did we have to be so difficult?
Why?
I grabbed a towel on my way in and nearly collided with Andrei in an effort to get to one of the guest rooms.
He stared me up and down. “I take it my son’s outside by his rock?”
The way he said rock almost made me laugh as if his son was five and playing with rocks. Uh no, he’s a full grown-ass man, and he was playing me, sir. Sorry?
My cheeks flared with heat. “Yes.”
He nodded and looked behind me. “Has he been acting different ever since Ash and Annie got together?”
I frowned. “Yeah, but he was acting different before then, you know.” It pained me to say it. “He’s young, doesn’t want to be tied down and all of that.”
“And the assignments from the Families? What do you think about that?” Andrei crossed his lean arms.
I shrugged. “Honestly, he’s your successor. I imagine he gets into fights, but for the most part, he uses his brain. He likes science. He literally fainted when he was twelve and had a compound break in his arm.”
Andrei smiled. “Funny you would remember it that way.”
“Huh?” I frowned. “He fell and broke his arm and cried.”
“But who did he run into? And who cried first?” He tilted his head. “He wasn’t crying because of his own blood—he was crying because of yours.” He pushed off the wall. “Take the room next to Maksim’s. I want someone watching you just in case, and he’s already promised not to touch you.” He paused. “He hasn’t, right? Touched you?”