“Unless…,” Luke dragged out the word.
“Unless what?” Realization dawned on me, and I filled in the blank before he had the opportunity to answer. “I’m not sleeping with you without a condom. God only knows how many women you’ve been with. I’m not catching something because you want to raw dog it.”
“Raw dog it? Oh, Lord.” He shook his head and smiled. “Sounds like something I would say, not you.”
“You don’t own the market on stupid slang phrases.”
He ignored my retort, rifling through his pocket again, this time to pull out his cell. He was busy typing, and scrolling, repeating the action for a full minute before speaking again.
“First off, I’ve always used a condom before, and contrary to what you might believe, my number of sexual partners probably isn’t as high as you think. Secondly, how do I know you don’t have something? I’m sure you get around.”
“How dare—”
He looked up from his phone. “Sorry. That came out wrong. It’s not what I meant. The getting around part. You’re gorgeous and I’m sure you’ve had your opportunities to sleep with whomever you wanted. No shame.”
“If you must know, I’ve only been with three guys. All of whom I was in a relationship with. And as far as having a disease, I can assure you I don’t. After I caught my ex cheating, I got tested.” Just speaking about what happened angered me. “I have a clean bill of health.”
“What an asshole.”
“He was.”
Luke focused on me for several seconds but didn’t say anything. I couldn’t tell by his expression what he was thinking. Was he pitying me?
When I shifted on the bed, his attention swung back to the device in his hand.
“What are you looking at?”
He walked toward the bed and sat on the edge, inches from me. “We have to get a physical once a year, and mine was two weeks ago.” He turned his phone toward me so I could see. “I got a clean bill of health too. And I haven’t slept with anyone since.”
“A whole two weeks? However did you survive?” I snatched the phone from him and scrolled, reading the medical jargon. Sure enough, his results were negative for all the diseases they tested for, which were extensive. “Is this something you do? Access this to show women so you don’t have to wear a condom?”
“I told you. I’ve always worn a condom. And you’re the only person to see this, besides my coach.”
I stared at the screen longer than necessary, wondering whether to forgo the latex barrier.
“You never answered me before. Are you on the pill?”
“Yes.”
“Good. That means we can raw dog it tonight.” The corners of his eyes crinkled when he repeated the slang phrase.
We were both healthy, and I was on the pill. After a moment of biting my lip in contemplation, I handed him back his phone.
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“That’s what I said.”
The smile that lit up his face was contagious. I tried to fight my grin but lost the battle.
He tossed his phone on the bedside table and moved toward me with a hungry look in his eyes, a stare that made me ache with the need to give him anything he wanted.
“I’ve imagined this so many times, you have no idea,” he said, positioning himself over me, spreading my legs so he could nestle in between.
Instead of lashing out at him, screaming that he could’ve had me years ago but didn’t want me, I harnessed the anger and allowed it to coil deep in my belly.
“I’m already wet. I don’t need any more foreplay,” I grumbled when he kissed the column of my throat and played with my nipple.
“What if I do?” He sucked at my neck. “I don’t want to rush this.” His hand traveled from my nipple to my waist, moving lower until his fingers danced over my core.
“Luke.” I said his name in warning, harsh and demanding.
He never stopped stroking me. “I thought you liked this.”
“I do.”
“What’s the problem?”
I wanted to shout at him that he was the problem. He’d made me angry when he said what he did, dredging up old feelings of embarrassment and heartache. After several long moments of internal deliberation, however, all I uttered was one word.
“Nothing.”
“No, there’s something wrong.” He removed his hand from between my legs and rested it on my hip bone, his eyes boring into me like he was trying to read my mind.
“I just want to have sex.”
“Is that it? There’s nothing else on your mind? Something you want to talk about?”
“What is this? Therapy? I thought we were going to fuck, not get all mushy.” I had no idea any of those words were going to come flying out of my mouth until they did. I supposed the anger I’d tried to suppress didn’t stay hidden long enough.
His chest expanded on an inhale, and his expression leveled right before his mouth crashed over mine. He plunged his tongue inside, his aggressiveness a result of my words, and he was giving me what I’d asked for. So why did a small piece of me long for his tender side?
Luke severed the kiss, his eyes dark and foreboding as he lifted himself onto his forearms, positioned himself at my entrance, and worked himself inside me on a stifled moan, thrusting as deep as he could and holding himself there. His head snapped back, the noise that bubbled up his throat spurring my excitement to new heights, navigating me through the bite of pain from my muscles being stretched around the girth of him.
When his head finally dropped, and his eyes landed on mine, he circled his hips, the movement precise, deliberate. An unfamiliar tingle traveled through me and I held my breath, waiting for the next wave, but when he rotated his hips again, the sensation eluded me.
“You’re so wet,” he panted. “And tight. I don’t want to move too fast, but I also want to fuck you so hard your throat will be raw from screaming.”
“Confident, aren’t you?” My unexpected teasing tone pleased him.
“I am.” Withdrawing until only the tip remained, he sank back in, smooth and steady, the torment of his body the sweetest I’d ever experienced. “Does that feel good?” The muscles in his chest rippled with his exertion, his every movement controlled. “I can go faster if you want. Tell me what you like. I’ll do anything.”
“Go a little faster.” I didn’t know if it was his size or the way he rocked into me, but I felt something. Not the tingle from before, but… pleasure. I just didn’t think it would be enough. Dissuading myself from already calling it quits, I focused on the guy looming over me.
He really was the most beautiful-looking man I’d ever seen, a sentiment I’d keep to myself because I didn’t want to inflate his ego. I was sure his millions of adoring fans did that enough. The image of how those women fawned all over him earlier came to mind.
“Am I hurting you?” He stopped moving altogether and pushed himself up, putting more distance between us while remaining inside me.
I hadn’t realized I’d made a face, but apparently my thoughts transferred to my expression.
“No, you’re not hurting me.” We entered a drawn-out staring contest and unfortunately, I lost. Turning my head to the side to evade the look he threw at me, one I couldn’t quite decipher yet, I released the breath in my lungs. But my escape didn’t last long at all.