There was something to this nonverbal communication. I liked it, especially since I didn’t know what was going to come flying out of his mouth. He could turn me on one second, and piss me off in the next.
There was a time when I believed I was in love with him, but after what he did, my infatuation toward him turned from hurt to anger. I told him I couldn’t stand him earlier, but that was only half true, which would be the explanation needed for why I was so turned on by him right now.
“You’re so beautiful,” he said, lowering himself on top of me, nestling his hips over mine while he rested on his forearms to hold most of his weight off me. “I bet you have guys falling at your feet, don’t you?”
“Not quite.” I didn’t mean for my tone to take on such a harsh edge. Or did I?
“I think you’re being modest. When was the last time a guy hit on you?”
“Tonight.”
“Funny. Besides me.”
I sighed. “I suppose it was when I met my ex.”
“How long ago was that?” He shifted his weight, and the tip of his arousal slid against my sex, and for a moment I lost my train of thought.
“A year and a half.”
“What happened with him? Why did you break up?” His lips rested against my throat, the rumble of his voice when he spoke sending a chill through my entire body.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Okay.”
Suddenly he leaned back on his haunches, staring down at me, his focus traveling from my face to my breasts to between my legs.
“What are you doing?” I fought the urge to cover myself, the intensity of his stare suddenly making it hard to breathe or form a coherent thought.
“I’m getting prepared.” He stretched his neck from side to side, placed his right hand over his left fist, cracked his knuckles and did the same for his opposite hand. “I want you to know I’m not going to half-ass this. I’ll give it my all. I promise you.”
“I think you might be taking this a little too seriously.” What I wanted to tell him was that I appreciated his effort so far and had no doubt he’d give this task his all. But again, I kept my thoughts to myself, needing my guard in place where he was concerned. As much as possible, given our current situation, of course.
“Orgasms are serious business.” The glint in his eye was the only sign he was having fun with me right now. “What do you want to do first?”
There was no hesitation on my part when I answered. “I liked what you were doing before.”
“Good. So did I.”
When he moved his face toward mine, I thought he was going to kiss me, but he only brushed his mouth over mine before moving toward my breasts. The scruff of his beard skated over my hardened nipple, and I sucked in a lungful of air. They’d always been sensitive, too sensitive sometimes.
He circled the peak with the tip of his tongue, closed his lips around it, and sucked gently before applying the softest pressure with his teeth. He moved to tease the other, lavishing his attention between them as he kneaded my breasts. The popping noise his mouth made when he released one of my nipples sounded amplified.
“Do you like what I’m doing?”
I nodded.
“Do you want me to go farther south?”
Again, I nodded.
He moved so quickly, if I hadn’t been paying attention, he would’ve startled me. With his hands on each of my legs, he spread me wide, trailing kisses along my inner thighs. He’d get close to where I wanted him to be, then move away at the last second. The third time he did it, I grabbed his hair and pulled.
His eyes veered toward mine. “Stop teasing me. We don’t have all night.”
“Ah, but we do.”
I couldn’t argue because it wasn’t really that late, and I didn’t have to be at work until ten tomorrow, although he didn’t know my schedule.
Luke was the first guy in a long time who enjoyed going down on me, and I was anxious to see if this could be the thing that would help me.
“Please.” On our way over here, I promised myself that no matter what I wasn’t going to beg him for anything, but I was in a situation now that called for a bit of pleading.
“Say it again.” He flattened his tongue and ran it over the length of me.
I tangled more of his hair between my fingers and yanked harder than before.
“Please,” I repeated, just as he’d instructed.
“I like hearing you beg. I’m going to have to make sure you do it more often.”
I didn’t have a response, too focused on how he flicked his tongue over my clit, switching from slow to fast and back again.
When he pushed two fingers inside me, I arched my back before thrusting toward his mouth. “That feels….” My breath escaped my lungs in a rush, the rest of whatever I was going to say evaporating completely.
“Do you like it better when I do this?” He sucked hard on the most sensitive part of me. “Or this?” He licked the entire length of me while pumping his fingers into me, pressing his thumb over the bundle of nerves afterward. “Or all of it?”
“All of it.” I teetered between pushing him away and pulling him closer. The sensations were too much. What he was doing felt amazing, but unfortunately, not enough to make me climax. After another ten minutes, I tapped on his shoulders. “It’s not going to happen that way. Can we try something else?”
“Are you sure? I can do this for as long as you want.” He stretched his mouth and massaged along his jawline.
“Looks to me like your mouth is sore.”
“I’ll be good to go in one minute.” He continued to move his jaw from side to side, rubbing at the muscles.
“That’s okay. I’d like to have sex now.”
In all the time I’d spent in relationships, I’d never been as comfortable sexually with any of them as I was with Luke. At the time, I’d loved whoever I was with, but in hindsight there had always been something missing.
But with Luke, I didn’t quite know how to put my finger on it. Was it because I didn’t love him? That I still harbored anger toward him? Was that the difference?
Granted, there’d been moments when we first shed our clothes that I’d been a tad unsure or anxious or whatever the feeling was. But now, all I wanted was to instruct him on what to do. Or listen to him give me multiple choice questions relating to oral sex.
“If you’re gonna twist my arm.” He playfully smacked my thigh before hopping off the bed, striding across the room, his gait confident, sexy. I stole the opportunity to stare at his butt. It really was a work of art. “You’re staring at my ass again.”
“So?”
“I don’t mind.” He rooted through the pockets of his jeans “Shit.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I thought I had a condom in my wallet, but I don’t.” He turned partway to glance at me.
“What’s that look for?” I asked.
“Are you on the pill or any type of birth control?”
“Why?”
“Because unless you have a condom in your purse, we don’t have one.”
I sat up in bed, loving the way his eyes scoured over my bare breasts. “I guess we’re done.” My voice belied my inner turmoil. What I said was so matter of fact, but inside I was punching the mattress and screaming, Why did this have to happen now?