Nina had traded cell numbers with me after the news hit that Wes and I were getting custody of the kids, telling me I could call her anytime, day or night, for anything at all. She called me daily to check in, and so far, she was my first adult conversation of the day.
Well, I guess there’d been the one with Wes this morning, but he was only about three-quarters of an adult.
“Did they tell you how the pickup line at the preschool works?” she asked. “You don’t have to go inside and sign her out. Just stay in the car and enter the line through the circular drive-through and they’ll walk her out for you.”
“No, I didn’t know that, but thanks. That’ll help because Benny’s about to fall asleep.”
I glanced in the rearview mirror and saw his round cheeks and tuft of dark hair reflected in the mirror Lauren had attached to end of Benny’s rear-facing car seat. Genius.
“It sucks dragging a baby carrier into the school so you can pick up another kid, especially in the cold,” Nina said.
She and her husband Drew had two kids who were eight and ten. It was great to have help from an experienced mom, and even better, one who had been a good friend of Lauren’s.
“I did that this morning, and it did suck,” I said, laughing. “Annalise is the snacker today and I bought fancy cupcakes from a bakery. I was worried she couldn’t handle her backpack and the cupcakes so I carried them in.”
Nina gave a little hum of concern. “Shoot, I should have told you the school doesn’t allow any baked goods unless they’re certified free of tree nuts and peanuts.”
“Oh shit, really?” I cringed as I realized what I said and apologized. “Sorry, language.”
She laughed. “Don’t you worry about a thing. My husband has the mouth of a sailor, and I usually do, too. I was trying to keep it in check because I didn’t know how you felt about it.”
I felt slightly chastised. I’d just gotten onto Wes this morning for something I did myself. But I would definitely say it was different to swear around a baby, who couldn’t understand what I was saying. At least, I hoped so.
“I’m going to have to learn to watch my language in front of the kids,” I told Nina.
“Well, you’re doing your best, so go easy on yourself. The school keeps extra snacks on hand in case someone forgets to bring something in, so don’t worry about that.”
“That’s good, but Annalise was really excited about those Baby Yoda cupcakes.”
“You guys will be able to take them home, though. Why don’t I bring over dinner and a bottle of wine tonight? Cupcakes and a glass of wine can be our dessert. And if you need to take a shower or anything, I can mind the kids.”
I smiled. “That sounds really nice, thank you.”
“No problem. And are you sure you want to take the kiddos to the store? You’re welcome to bring them over to my house.”
“Nah, I’ve got it. I get groceries all the time. How hard can it be to bring them with me and have them ride in the cart?”
It was hard. Really fucking hard.
I hadn’t realized that with Benny’s carrier seat inside the cart and Annalise sitting in the front of the cart, I’d have no room for groceries. I had to let Annalise walk beside me, and she stopped to either ask a question about or grab every other thing she saw.
Benny spit up all over himself as I was haphazardly adding items into the cart.
“Is this fucking organic or not?” I said under my breath, straining to read the fine print on a box of baby crackers.
Fuck it. Benny was sitting in his own puke and I needed to get home and clean him up. I threw the box in the cart and headed for the checkout, where I discovered, after everything had been rung up, that I’d left my wallet in the car.
I took both kids outside with me to get it and trekked back inside to pay, sweating like I’d just completed a hardcore SoulCycle spin class. I glanced up at the cashier, who kindly took pity on me, and told me I could pull the car up to the front entrance and they would load the groceries for me.
By the time I got home, gave Benny a quick rinse and changed his clothes, fed him and got him down for a nap, I was dead on my feet. And I still had to make time to play with Annalise. I practically tore the door down when Nina arrived around five, carrying a family-sized take-out meal from an Italian restaurant. There was lasagna, spaghetti, salad and garlic bread.
“Is that your stomach?” she asked, giving me an amused grin when my stomach growled in response to the heavenly scents of garlic and meat sauce.
“I haven’t eaten all day,” I admitted.
“Oh, honey.” She gave me a sympathetic look. “Make yourself a plate. I’ll feed the kids.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m positive.”
She stayed for the evening, feeding both kids and giving them baths, then reading to Annalise and putting her to bed while I focused on Benny. Then we talked over wine and what was left of the Baby Yoda cupcakes.
Wes texted after his game to check in, and I felt guilty as I texted him back that everything was fine. I’d jumped all over him about the Froot Loops this morning and then let Annalise eat two and a half cupcakes tonight.
How had Lauren done it all? I wanted so badly to raise her kids the way she would have, with healthy food and wholesome activities, but so far, just meeting their basic needs was taking everything I had.
Chapter Five
Wes
Another day, another loss. We’d lost every game since Ben died and I was grumpy as fuck as I headed home. The good news was that this had been the last game before the All-Star break, so I’d have a little time to actually breathe. Maybe even grieve. The bad news was that it meant twenty-four seven with Hadley, something I wasn’t particularly looking forward to. We’d barely seen each other since she’d moved in, but she was already bossy and judgmental, as if I’d scarred the kids for life or something.
I did need to watch my language, but beyond that, I thought I’d done a pretty good job considering I had no idea what I was doing. Of course, Hadley would find a way to shit on my parade, no doubt about it. She’d been busting my balls since the first time we laid eyes on each other, and while it made me laugh over the years, it was different now. We had to find a way to work together, live together, and raise these kids together. Because I’d be damned if I let her take them. I might not know all the ins and outs of raising kids, but I’d always planned on having a family someday, and I wanted to do every single thing I could for Ben’s kids.
I woke up a little after seven that morning and heard noise downstairs so I figured everyone else was awake too. I felt a twinge of guilt that I hadn’t set an alarm and since I’d shut the guest room door, I hadn’t heard anything that would wake me either. Hadley and I needed to talk about all of this.
I left the guest room and found Hadley in the family room, walking back and forth, Benny whimpering in her arms.
“What’s going on?” I asked her.
“He’s teething,” she said, without glancing up. “He’s been miserable since last night. I’ve been up with him since about four.”