I bite on my bottom lip and the first thing that comes to mind is Badge. I shouldn’t care if he likes it, but I want him to.
Like a fool.
I don’t even need to be interested in a man, but I can’t help the pull I feel towards him. He is a hard man to deny when he refuses to share anything about himself.
He’s a mystery; I can’t help but be curious.
“Yeah, I think you guys are right. I keep the length, right? I like it long.”
“Keep the length,” Ruby and Dawn blurt in unison. “I love my short hair, but I know it isn’t for everyone,” Ruby adds.
“Sorry for the wait.” A woman dressed in black stands to the side with a smile on her face. She has gorgeous long red hair braided over her shoulder. She’s tall, slim, and graceful with every gesture she makes with her hands.
“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t make an appointment. I’m lucky you could even work me in,” I tell her, not wanting her to feel bad when I am the one who made the mistake.
Maybe I shouldn’t do this.
“Shall we? And we can discuss what you’re looking to do.”
Dawn gives me and motivating shove and I stand, swallowing my nerves as I follow the red-headed lady to the chair. I peer at Dawn and Ruby over my shoulder, and they shoo me on with bright smiles.
I sit down slowly, the black leather cold under my touch, cooling my legs through my jeans. The graceful hairdresser fluffs out the silver cape and wraps it around me, clipping it at the base of my neck.
“You have such pretty eyes,” she comments, running her fingers through my hair. “Oh, gosh. I forgot to introduce myself. I’m Analise.”
Of course her name is Analise. It sounds so exotic and perfect.
Jeez, I sound bitter.
“I’m Hope.” I try to give her a smile in the mirror.
“You’re nervous, but you’ve done things with your hair before, yes?” she asks, pulling the strands to the side to examine it.
“I have, but…” I don’t want to get into my gory details. Last thing I need is to pour my heart to a woman I don’t know. “The person who did my hair wasn’t a professional. I wasn’t allowed to go to the salon.”
Her eyes sparkle yet frown at the same time. I can tell she wants to ask questions, but she refrains. “So what are we looking to do today? A trim? A color?”
“Keep the length. Maybe just take care of the ends. And I’d like the color to match my roots.”
“A dark blonde. I think it will look great. Let’s do this,” she says with a smile. “You’re going to look amazing.”
Dawn and Ruby give me a pair of enthusiastic thumbs-up as Analise leaves me alone to go mix the color in the back of the store. I’m left staring at my reflection. The woman next to me looks like she could get HBO with all the foil she has in her hair. She flips through a magazine as she processes. On the other side of me, a man is getting a hot shave, a straight razor against his throat.
Yikes.
I look out the window of the shop and notice a familiar truck roll by.
Badge.
I push myself to get up, but Analise is back with two bowls filled with dye.
“Ready?”
I nod but glance out the window in hopes of seeing Badge. Maybe he will come inside and see us. I don’t think he even knows we are here. Oh, what am I thinking? He doesn’t want anything to do with me. He doesn’t even like me.
“So do you have a boyfriend?” Analise tries to start a conversation while she paints my hair.
“No. I mean, there’s one guy, but I don’t really know what to make of him. I wouldn’t even call us friends, but I think he is different than what people say.”
“Mmm,” she shakes her head. “Wouldn’t hearing it from multiple people validate him?”
“Not if he doesn’t let people see him.”
“And do you think he lets you see him?” she asks, not rude or anything, just overly curious.
“I don’t think he means to,” I say, thinking about last night when he helped me with Faith.
“Well, let’s show him what he is missing.” She wiggles her brows, and we fall into a comfortable silence.
I don’t know how much time has passed, but the dye is wetting my forehead and my hair looks black.
Oh my god, please don’t let it be that dark.
“Alright, let’s wash.” Analise guides me to the shampoo bowl.
The chair leans back and I rest my head into the large bowl made of purple stained glass. It’s fashionable and different.
A scalp massage paired with peppermint suds and warm water nearly drifts me off to sleep. God, that feels amazing. She wraps my hair in a towel and my heart slams against my chest as we head back to her station.
“Ready for the reveal?” she questions, her hands on top of the towel, ready to unravel it.
No. God. No. I regret everything. I shouldn’t have come here. I can’t turn back time. I can cut it off. No! I can… I can… I can bleach it again.
I don’t want to bleach it again because it reminds me of Patricia.
I’m fucked.
Without me saying anything, she takes the towel off and I squeeze my eyes shut so I don’t have to look into the mirror.
“You’re going to love it. Look,” she urges, taking a brush to it to get the tangles out.
It’s just hair. That’s all.
I peek one eye open, gasp, and then the other. It isn’t black. The dye made it look darker than it really is. It’s a dirty blonde with a tint of ash. My eyes pop against the warmer tone and I lift my hand and touch it to see if it’s real.
“Oh my god. I love it.” I grin wide until my cheeks hurt. “I love it so much.”
“Let’s get you cut and dried, pretty.”
A few snips, spritzes, and layers later, she blow-dries my hair and yanks the cape off me. My hair still falls down my back and I run my fingers through the fresh waves. The strands are so soft and silky, and I don’t think my eyes have ever looked so bright.
“It’s the perfect color on you,” Analise says. “That guy is going to trip over himself.”
I snort thinking about Badge tripping. It isn’t likely. He’s too composed for that, too locked away to ever let his emotions show.
“I didn’t do this for him. I did it for me,” I whisper, staring at the happiness tinting my cheeks.
“Holy Hottie! Look at you!” Dawn gasps as she walks through the front door, Ruby behind her. Dawn has a Coke in each hand and Ruby has an ice cream cone. “I love it. You look amazing! That color brings out your eyes.”
“Bullseye is going to flip when he sees you looking like a model,” Ruby smirks. “I’ll be sure to have my phone ready.”
I flip my hair over my shoulder and head to the cashier. “I do look good, don’t I?”
“Hell yeah. Work it, girl. Oh, we should go by the casino, you know, just so you can strut your stuff.”
I pay the lady and make sure I leave a tip. I still have a good amount of money left, but I don’t want to spend it all. “I don’t know. I don’t gamble, guys.” I tuck the cash into my purse and give Analise a smile. “Thank you so much. I hope you have a good day. I’ll definitely be back.”