He got out of bed, took a leak, and started coffee before heading into the shower. The second the warm water pelted against his naked skin, he couldn’t stop his thoughts from drifting to the man next door. It would be a whole hell of a lot easier if Roe wasn’t so damned attracted to him—and if he hadn’t recently found out he was gay. That had his imagination going places. And, well…he needed to get off…
He let his hand drift down his body before wrapping it around his already stiff cock. It wasn’t like he didn’t jerk off in the shower most days. This time, he just so happened to be picturing Holden.
It was rough, which wasn’t his favorite, so he stepped out of the spray, squeezed some conditioner into his hand, and got busy again. He had waterproof lube, but he hadn’t taken it in with him.
Roe squeezed his shaft just the way he liked, rubbing his hand over the sensitive head, then stroking himself again. His balls were already heavy with his load, sensation traveling from his prick throughout his body.
He closed his eyes, stroked faster, used his other hand to tug his nuts just enough, then slid a finger behind his sac to rub his taint, then his hole. He didn’t penetrate himself, just spread his legs and rubbed circles around his rim, jacking himself at the same time.
Fuck, he loved this, loved the pleasure skittering through him, the way his body let go, gave in to this feeling, and it was even more heightened when he wasn’t alone.
He let himself picture Holden…his broad frame, the sound of his voice, the cut of his jaw… That quickly, his balls drew tight, his body trembled, and his muscles tensed, Holden’s name in his head as he shot his load all over the shower wall.
He breathed, laughed at himself a little for jacking off while thinking of his neighbor, then got on with his shower.
Afterward, he got out and dressed and took his PrEP with his breakfast, even though he rarely had sex anymore. There was a time when pre-exposure prophylaxis wasn’t available, so now that it was, he thought it was important to take advantage.
Before getting to work on the barn, he let Zeus out, then took care of feeding the animals. He gave the goats some extra love.
He was looking down at Zeus, who was at his heels while Roe walked to the barn, so he didn’t notice Holden there, leaning against the building, until he was damn near standing directly in front of him.
“Shit. You startled me.”
“I can tell.” Holden gave him a small nod. Something was different about his voice, but Roe couldn’t place what it was.
“You stay up all night and don’t sleep in mornings either, huh?” Roe asked.
“Eh, I’m used to it by now. I do well functioning off little sleep. I’ve always had a bit of insomnia, but I can’t say the couch doesn’t contribute. Sean offered me his bed, but I didn’t like the thought of kicking the kid out of his space. A young guy needs his own room. He’s already lost enough. Didn’t want him to lose that too.”
Roe knew he was staring at Holden, but didn’t seem to have it in him to stop. The man was…well, he was a bit of an enigma. Roe wondered if Holden knew how much he sacrificed for others, how willing he was to suffer or rearrange his life to make things easier for people he cared about. Somehow, he didn’t think he did. He had a feeling Holden didn’t see just how damn big his heart was, at least where Marilee and Sean were concerned.
“We got extra room in the house. You’re welcome to it,” he found himself saying. He hadn’t planned the words, but there they were anyway. “Would have your own bed.”
Holden frowned, as if unsure how to respond. “I couldn’t do that. Wouldn’t want to put you out.”
Roe knew he would say no. Holden seemed like the kind of man who didn’t accept help from others if he could avoid it. “You could pack up, take a leave of absence, and spend three months on the couch of a small cabin in North Carolina, but not sleep in a bed in the house next door?”
Holden chuckled, and damned if Roe didn’t like the sound, maybe even more now that he knew Holden was…well, he didn’t know if he was gay, bi, or identified a different way, but he slept with men. He also had a boyfriend, which Roe needed to remember.
“You’re a real smart-ass, you know that?” Holden teased.
“Been told a time or two.”
“Guess it’s better than a homophobe, which is what I was thinking.”
Roe adjusted the ball cap he wore backward. So they were gonna go there. “Nah, just gay and shocked to find out the city slicker from next door swings my way.”
“City slicker, my ass. I grew up in a town just like this. And yeah, I heard.”
He’d heard? From Marilee? Had Holden asked about him? Probably not in the let’s-fuck-against-the-barn-wall way, like in Roe’s thoughts when he’d brought himself off that morning. Especially considering he’d given Holden the impression he was homophobic.
“We’re outnumbered around these parts.” Roe gave his words a little extra drawl for effect.
“You can say that again, man.”
“I’m sorry I gave you the wrong impression. I’m not quite sure where that came from other than the shock.”
“You’ve been quiet the past few days.” Holden frowned, the lines around his mouth making it clear he wasn’t happy with himself for saying that, and that he couldn’t quite figure out why he had.
“Aw, did you miss me?” Roe teased, hoping Holden would chuckle. He much preferred that to the look of discomfort.
“Oh God no, farm boy. What was your name again? I can’t remember.”
“Farm boys are badass motherfuckers,” Roe countered.
“Kinda hot too. I used to watch this porn where they fucked all over the farm. Hot as shit. Reminded me of what I wanted to be doing as a teenager.” Holden laughed while heat skittered down Roe’s spine. He was trying to decide if Holden had just called him hot, or if he was talking about it in general, before he reminded himself that it didn’t fucking matter, because the man was taken. Not that Roe wanted a relationship with him, but damn, was he attracted to him.
“You gonna help me with this barn, or what?” It was a bold question. He and Holden really didn’t know each other very well, but it felt like they did.
“Why do you think I’m out here? Hell, I’ve been waiting for you.”
“I’ll supply the food and beer or whatever drinks you want.”
“Sounds like a deal to me.”
Holden helped him open the barn doors. Zeus found his way back to them and followed inside. “Whoever owned the place before me had horses. I’m thinking about getting some. Wyatt likes to ride. I always have too, just wasn’t sure if I wanted the responsibility here when I can just go to my family’s farm.”
“I hear ya. Never had any as a kid, but I damn sure wanted some.” Holden walked toward the stables. “It’s seen better days.”
“Yeah, I know. I’m embarrassed I’ve let it go this long. I’d like to tear down a lot of the shit in here and start from scratch. The bones of the barn are good, though she could clearly use some paint. I might hire someone to put in some built-in shelving and shit like that. I just don’t have the time.”