“I let them believe that.”
“Why?”
“Your brother was getting suspicious of us, kid.”
He was?
I opened my mouth to reply, but I couldn’t get my lips to move.
“You were never just a fuck. I told you that to make you hate me.”
“Well, mission accomplished. Why would you want me to hate you?”
“It was the only way I could leave you.”
I promised myself I wouldn’t go down this road with him. Bringing up the past wouldn’t change what he did, what he put me through.
Our memories became nightmares.
My love that became hate.
It. Ruined. Me.
He ruined me.
That fateful day he shattered my heart and then walked away, leaving me to pick up the pieces of what was left in his wake. I desperately tried to focus on all the pain he’d caused, not wanting to care about his lies and truths. Yet there I was hanging on by a thread, anxiously awaiting his next words.
“And the only other time I’ve ever lied to you...”
I never expected what he admitted next, and it felt as though I was holding my breath.
With the utmost sincere expression on his face, he declared, “Was when I told you I didn’t love you.”
Chapter NINE
—Autumn—
Then
We walked into the rodeo, hand-in-hand, while I looked for my brother in the stands. Daniel and I had been hanging out for the last few weeks, and we were meeting him there. He was a senior, and I was a junior in high school. I was almost seventeen, and my parents had finally started allowing me to date.
But if it were up to Christian, I’d be a nun. He was more overbearing than our parents, saying guys only wanted one thing. Which didn’t make any sense. He’d been with the same girl on and off for the last seven years. They were the perfect couple, and at times I envied what they had.
“I think I see him over there.” I pointed to the far left side of the open arena, leading the way.
At least I had a bit more freedom now that Christian was in his senior year of college and wasn’t around a lot. He was studying for his MCATs, deciding to be a doctor. Although he hadn’t chosen which field yet. He was living in his own place with Julian. They were both almost done with college. Julian was majoring in finance with a minor in business.
He still loved cars, and since he’d turned sixteen, I swear I’d seen him with a new ride each year.
“Baby.” Daniel pulled me against his chest while he walked behind me. “Have I told you how great your ass and legs look in that skirt?”
I beamed, listening to him.
We drove here after the football game tonight, and I was still in my cheerleading uniform. I was the only girl to make varsity my freshman year, but my excitement toward Daniel’s words was cut shorter than my bloomers when I noticed Julian wasn’t alone.
Shocker.
He was always with a girl. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen him without a chick. Especially in the last four years. The man was never with the same woman. Julian didn’t really have a type, he seemed to be an equal opportunist with all the different types of girls he’d bring around.
Julian made up for the fact that Christian only had Kinley, by pretty much sleeping with every hot girl from here to Dallas.
And I hated every single one of them.
Not that my brother couldn’t have any woman he wanted, girls flocked to him like bees to honey. Often making his girlfriend jealous. Christian was covered in tattoos, inked sleeves down both arms, along with his chest and back. He was addicted to them.
To say I was head over heels in love with his best friend was an understatement. I think I was born loving him. My crush didn’t ever go away, it didn’t wear off, and I didn’t grow out of it…
If anything, it became stronger.
My feelings for him became something I couldn’t control or even begin to understand. I just knew I wanted him.
Then.
Now.
Forever.
I wanted him so bad it made my heart hurt and my chest ache.
Despite seeing him with several women throughout my life, he’d never seen me with a guy before, and I secretly hoped this would be what he needed to get his head out of his ass.
I had absolutely no problem picking up guys, inheriting my mom’s big boobs, slender waist, and curvy ass. I began developing at a younger age than most of my friends, and not one time did Julian recognize that.
My brother did.
My parents did.
Most guys in town and at my school did.
Julian, nope. Nothing. Not so much as a, “Hey, you’re looking beautiful today.”
I was at my wit’s end. It wasn’t fair that he looked at every single girl other than me. I even saw him checking out some of the girls on my varsity cheerleading squad during practice one day when he unexpectedly picked me up.
I didn’t have a car. My parents wanted me to wait until I was seventeen, and I relied on my friends, Daniel, and my good ol’ bicycle for transportation. Making me feel like I was still a little girl, when in fact, I wasn’t.
I was a young woman, and I was determined to have Julian see me as something more than just his best friend’s little sister. How he couldn’t see I was madly in love with him only proved to me that men were stupid.
Or if he knew, he never showed it—always seeming unfazed by my presence.
The older he got, the more distant he became. Maybe it was because he was busy with school and other adult things, but the guy who used to take me to his shop didn’t anymore.
Out of the blue one day, he started pushing me away. At least it felt like that to me, and I hated it more than anything.
“You’ll always be my number one girl.”
Those seven words haunted me, hanging over my head like a freaking avalanche. Ready to pile on top of me at a moment’s notice.
Why did he say it if he didn’t mean it?
Those were the types of questions I constantly asked myself.
Over and over again.
Pushing away those thoughts, I walked up the stairs and smiled at Julian. He smiled back, and my stomach catapulted into somersaults, waiting for him to say something about my uniform.
Please notice me.
“Autumn, what the hell are you wearing?” Christian asked, his tone clipped.
“Oh my God. Leave her alone,” Kinley reprimanded him like she often did. “Babe, she’ll be seventeen in two weeks. You’ve met Daniel, so have your parents. Let her be.” She winked at me, and I smiled.
She was always on my side, knowing how overprotective my brother was. My gaze shifted toward Julian, praying he’d heard Christian commenting about my outfit.
He didn’t.
He was too busy sucking face with the blonde he’d brought with him. I rolled my eyes again; he was the king of oblivion.
“Daniel, let’s sit over here.” I popped a squat near Julian, closest to him—not the girl he was with. Enough to where he could see me and Daniel.
For the next hour, I fawned over Daniel, desperately trying to make Julian jealous, and not once he did bat an eye.
Not one ounce of emotion.
Reaction.
What do I need to do to get his attention?
Nothing ever worked.