He was clearly trying to calm me down, and I didn’t fight it. I let his voice soothe my anxiety, and I followed him over to the couch.
I took one end. He took the other, though he twisted toward me, a bent knee on the cushion between us and an arm slung casually across the back of the couch. Somehow that made us feel closer together without being in each other’s space. Close with breathing room. And did he know how hot he looked like that? Did he ever not look hot?
“The first time you hired me,” he said softly, “what was it you wanted?”
I swallowed, pretending not to notice the sudden heat in my face. “Well, sex. Obviously.”
“But was that all?”
I held his gaze. His eyes were as gentle as his voice, but I swore they saw right through me. Right to all the reasons I’d downloaded that app in the first place. So why lie? I shifted my attention to watching my own fingers worry at the seam of my jeans, and I studied that intently. “I was just tired of being alone, honestly.”
“Yeah?”
I nodded, and flattened my hand over the seam I’d been playing with as I lifted my head to look at him again. “I’m on the road most of the year. I live and breathe hockey. Then when the season is over…”
“You’re home and there’s no one here.” It wasn’t a question, and it wasn’t snide or judgy either. More like he actually got it and quite possibly empathized.
“Exactly.” I sighed. “And maybe that was what I needed that night. I mean, sex, definitely, but…”
“But company too.”
I nodded, cringing inwardly because this was probably the part where he was going to tell me I needed to go find a boyfriend, not an escort.
I wasn’t expecting him to say, “That’s not all that unusual.”
“It isn’t?”
He shook his head, which gave a mesmerizing swing to a few strands of dark hair tumbling over his forehead. “They don’t just call us escorts to get around the whole prostitution being illegal thing. We really are escorts.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning we get hired to be dates to events. To just go on a date if a guy is really lonely and hasn’t been on one in a while.” He shrugged. “Sometimes we’re just there so he has a plus one or so he can impress people with a boyfriend, but a lot of times… I mean, people get lonely. Sometimes all they want is someone to spend time with them and talk to them, even if they don’t think it’s”—he made air quotes—“real.”
I tilted my head. “Except it isn’t real, is it?”
“It’s…” Luca’s eyes lost focus. After a moment, he met my gaze. “It’s not a real date or a real relationship, no. But we’re not mannequins. We’re not like the dolls a kid puts into chairs to have a pretend tea party. No one’s pulling a string so automatic words come out of our mouths. Even though we’re being paid to be there, the conversations are as real as the sex.”
“Oh. Huh. I hadn’t thought of it like that.”
He smiled a smile that made my spine tingle. “It’s something you learn in this line of work.”
“I guess you would, wouldn’t you?”
Luca nodded. “So, guys who want company and pay for it—they’re more common than a lot of people realize. I’ve had clients who never touched me.”
“But some do?”
“Oh, yeah.” He waved a hand. “They really run the gamut. Some guys just want someone to go to the theater and dinner with them. Others want me to show up, fuck them, and leave.”
“So some guys really do just want sex and nothing else?”
“Oh yeah. I’ve literally had clients who wouldn’t look me in the eye.” He wrinkled his nose. “There’s one who was kind of a regular for a while who refuses to tell me his name. Like he won’t even give me a fake name, because he wants it to be that anonymous.” With a roll of his eyes, he bitterly added, “With his general attitude toward me, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t think a sex worker is worthy of hearing his name.”
I blinked, surprised by his candor, but also that someone would treat him that way. “That sounds… dehumanizing.”
“I’m pretty sure that’s the idea.” His tone was still neutral like a customer service rep commenting on a company policy he disagreed with, but the faintest note of irritation slipped in. I couldn’t say I blamed him.
I cleared my throat and shifted on the couch, pulling my knee up between us but trying not to bump his. “I have so many questions. I don’t want to spend the whole night grilling you, though.”
“You can ask me questions.” His expression warmed again as his voice took on a faintly sultry tone. “But I feel like you didn’t book me tonight to ask questions.”
I gulped. “No. I didn’t.”
“Why did you book me tonight?” He paused. “Or should I say, how do you want to spend our time together?”
“Um. Well, I wouldn’t mind picking up where we left off last time. Or at least heading in that same direction.” God, I sounded like a kid who couldn’t say “sex” out loud instead of a grown ass man telling a prostitute why he’d hired him.
Luca’s eyes narrowed slightly as if he were trying to read me. “You’re still nervous about it, though.”
With a quiet laugh, I asked, “Is it that obvious?”
“You wouldn’t be the first by any means. And if you’re nervous, it’s fine, but do you want to do this?”
Do I want to sleep with you? Oh my God, yes.
But my tongue was sticking to the roof of my mouth, so I just nodded. “Yeah.” I paused, and after a moment, I found my voice. “I guess I’ve always thought sex for hire was kind of… I mean, it seems like…” I had to be blushing bright red by now, but I made myself get the words out: “I like quickies as much as the next guy, you know? But sometimes I want…”
“You want to slow down.”
I nodded. “Is that… With something like this, can we…” What was it about him that reduced me to a nervous virgin who couldn’t string together a coherent question?
Luca’s smile would’ve dropped my knees out from under me if we’d been standing. “It’s really up to you. Whatever you want.” He paused. “I mean, within reason. There’s very little kink I’m willing to do, and I’m a top. But otherwise? I’m game for just about anything.”
“I can… I can work with that. Especially the part where you’re a top.”
His smile turned to a grin. Then he shifted onto his knees, crawled across the cushion, and suddenly—oh God. He was in my lap. Straddling me. Gazing down at me with those smoldering dark eyes.
“So tell me,” he whispered, running his fingers through my hair, “what do you want?”
“Just…” I swallowed, overwhelmed by his body heat and the glint in his eyes. “Just… you.”
Luca slowly drew his tongue along the inside of his lower lip. “Doing what?”
“Anything.” I slid my palms up his thighs, marveling at the firmness of the muscles beneath the soft fabric. “I like where this is going so far.”