But I don’t fucking want to.
And I’m a stubborn asshole who usually gets what he wants.
I take her hand, adjusting my cock in my pants. “Show me this pier.” My voice is gruff, deepened with desire.
“Yes, Master.” She shoots a worshipful gaze my way that nearly drops me to my knees. I don’t know how I got so fucking lucky, how I earned her trust when I’ve been nothing but a dick here, but I’m going to make sure I give her everything she needs while I still have her.
She deserves that much.
The pier is crowded with people, but we ignore them and walk out to the very end of it to lean on the rail. The ocean sparkles cobalt blue and frothy white—bright and hopeful, like Kayla.
“I came here my first weekend in Los Angeles. I moved out here to go to USC—that’s where I met Sasha—and I was so excited to see the ocean. I drove out here by myself and watched the sunset. And that’s when I promised myself I’d never give up on my dream.”
“To become an actress?” I ask. I shift, so I’m standing behind her, protecting her back from the other people around. Or maybe just staking my claim. I wrap one arm around her waist and rest the other on the rail beside hers.
“Yes.” She darts a glance my way. “Sometimes I think I should put a time limit on it. Like, I have one more year, and if nothing happens, I’ll move back home. But then I remember the promise my eighteen-year-old self made, and I say never. I’m not leaving until I’ve made it where I wanted to go.”
“And where is that?”
She drops her head a little, so I kiss her temple.
“Tell me. A-lister? Hollywood star?”
“Yes.”
“You’ll make it,” I tell her, not because I know anything about show business but because I want it to be true. I want Kayla to have everything she always dreamed of. A woman as good and pure as her deserves to have the world at her feet. Mostly because it would surprise her. And she’d work her ass off to do it right.
“Sometimes I believe it, sometimes I don’t,” she whispers.
“Believe it.”
She turns in my arms and looks up at me. “So I guess I should’ve told you that last night, too. I can’t leave L.A. Not even for—” she breaks off. I think she was going to say love but lobbed that word off at the neck.
“So we’ll enjoy what we have, no? While we have it.”
She melts a little against me, like some raging conflict has just been resolved. “I’m sorry if it seems like I am pushing for more. I don’t—”
I put a finger on her lips. “No apology needed.” Gently, I turn her back around, so we can stare at the sea together. The waves crash beneath us in a frothy foam. Someone's out with a boogie board, trying to catch a wave.
I should be glad. We just put an ending on our relationship. Not a specific date but an agreement that we’ll part ways sometime in the future.
It’s what I wanted. What needed to happen. Why, then, do I want to find some piece of wood and beat it until my knuckles bleed?
5
Pavel
When we return from the pier, I’m ready to play. “I want you naked, on the bed, now,” I command, unbuttoning my cuffs.
Kayla’s glassy, unfocused gaze instantly sharpens at my tone, and she scrambles to comply. She strips off all her clothes.
“I want you in the hose and heels,” I say gruffly, my dick already hard again remembering how hot she looked last night in them.
I don’t undress because that’s how we roll—her naked; me clothed, for as long as possible. It helps set the power dynamic. She’s my slave. Undressed for my eyes. Naked in every way to me. Right down to the soft marshmallow of her soul.
She crawls up on the bed in her black thigh-highs and stilettos and kneels in the center of it, hands face up on her thighs, awaiting instruction. I let my gaze roam over the beautiful picture she makes. The pose. Her tight little body. Her youthful tits with the pale peach nipples that stiffen at my slightest touch. I memorize it all for when I’m away from her. I’ll fuck my fist all week remembering all the beautiful ways she submitted to me during our time together.
“Good girl,” I praise, strolling close and tweaking one of her pouty nipples now. “I should have asked if you need to eat first. Are you hungry?”
She hesitates then shakes her head.
“Words, blossom.”
“No, sir.”
“All right. We’ll play. Then I will feed you.”
I will feed you. Simple words, but saying them affects me. Like she’s my pet, and I decide if and when she gets fed. The control she gives to me—putting me in charge of her body, her wellbeing—is a powerful drug.
I torture secrets out of men for a living, but I didn’t know I was a sadist until last year.
No, that’s a lie. I always knew I had this thing inside me. It’s why I had a mountain of rules about never laying a hand on a woman. None of my bratva brothers—at least none of the ones in my current cell—can stomach hurting a woman. But me? My deepest, darkest fear was that I could stomach it. That I might like it. Far too much.
And I discovered I do.
To make it worse—or perhaps to make it work—I’m not sure which—I somehow landed the sweetest, most submissive, angel of a slave. Which means I must be constantly vigilant for signs I’ve gone too far.
I open my suitcase to unpack my toys. Nipple clamps to begin with and a buttplug. I often like to start by claiming her most vulnerable parts while I play with the rest.
I bought her new nipple clamps—beautiful flowers that will cover her areolas with tiny bolts that tighten against her nips.
As I approach, Kayla’s stomach audibly growls. I stop and arch a brow, hiding my amusement. "Uh oh. Did you just lie about being hungry?”
She flushes, guilt scrawling over her expressive face. Her big blue eyes plead with me. She knows I’ll punish her transgression.
“Lying is a serious offence, blossom."
Her big eyes get even bigger and her mouth goes slack. She doesn't answer. I put a knuckle under her chin. "Tell me, beautiful. Did you lie because you didn’t want to disappoint me?”
She doesn’t answer. Her deer-in-the-headlights look will go in my spank-bank for the week. "Or did you lie because you wanted to play before you ate?” When she still doesn't answer, I guess again, “Or was it a combination of the two?"
She nods and licks her lips, which makes my dick go rock hard. "A combination of the two. —Sir,” she adds hastily.
She’s so fucking adorable. Like, makes-my-chest-squeeze adorable.
“All right, here's what we're going to do.” I walk to the dresser to find a room service menu. “I’m going to order us some dinner, and then I'm going to punish you for lying. Hopefully I'll be through by the time the food gets here.” I bring the menu over, sitting beside her on the bed to share the view. “What sounds good?”
She quickly scans the menu. “I’ll take the Caesar salad, Master.”
“With chicken?”
“Yes, please. Master.”
I brush my lips over her bare shoulder because it looks so delectable and leave to call in our food. “Tell them to knock when they get here and then leave it outside the room,” I instruct. No fucking way I’d open the door with a chance of anyone seeing Kayla like this, even if she was under the covers or in the bathroom. I want her to feel vulnerable with me—not to the outside world. Plus, I’d have to kill anyone who saw her naked.