“Me, duh.”
“But how will you know what’s new to me and what’s not?”
“This goes back to the conversation thing we discussed earlier. I’ll open my mouth and ask…and you’ll answer.”
“Oh, hey, I found something for you.” Jonathan pretended to pick up something from the floor before raising his hand to flip me off.
It was such an…older person type thing to do.
Don’t make a daddy joke. It was clear he was sensitive to that, so I held back.
“If you don’t put your finger away, I’ll bite it.”
“Why do I believe you?” Jonathan asked.
“Because you’re smart,” I told him, and Jonathan shifted some. We were both leaning forward, sitting on the edge of the couch, close to the table, looking at each other. “Say yes.”
He shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal, but for him, I knew it was. “Sure.”
“That’s my boy. We’re gonna have so much fucking fun.”
“If you say so.”
“See? You’re getting the hang of it already. I’m always right.”
He snickered, ate more pizza, was quiet. I nudged him with my arm. “Horror movies are my favorite too.”
CHAPTER FIVE
Jonathan
Everything felt like a fucking whirlwind after that. Danny and I hung out for a while after eating the pizza, and then I told him I needed to head out. He said I could stay, but I declined. I needed some time to sort through things. I’d agreed to move in…and to do something new with him at least once a week, which was crazy and not like me at all. Something about his energy was contagious, though. It was impossible to say no. Fuck, I was losing it.
On Monday I had an interview at a furniture store, then met up with Danny to go to the leasing office for his building to fill out the paperwork. By Wednesday I found out I got the job and had been approved to move in with him.
Which brought me to today. I sat in my truck outside Mom’s house. She knew I was taking a break from Carson Construction, but I hadn’t let her know I was moving into Atlanta. It was only a forty-five-minute drive, so it wasn’t like we wouldn’t see each other, but I knew it would be unexpected for her, especially since I’d also stopped working with my brothers. I hadn’t given her a clear reason for that either, because I didn’t have one, other than needing a change.
I got out and headed for the door before I chickened out. I knocked—typically I would go right in afterward, but that was when she expected me. Today she didn’t. A few seconds later she opened the door. “Jonathan, this is a pleasant surprise.”
“Hey, Mom.” I hugged her and kissed her cheek.
“I was just sitting around knitting. I have coffee. Do you want some?”
“Yeah, that’d be great.”
We went into the kitchen. She poured two cups, and we each doctored our own. It was around ten in the morning; I’d wanted to come before it got too late in the day. Plus, I had some last-minute packing to finish up.
“So…spill it.”
I chuckled. It didn’t surprise me that she knew I’d come over to tell her something. I ran a hand through my hair. I needed to get it cut. I’d let it grow out some this past year. “I, um…I’m going to move into Atlanta.”
She frowned. “Wow. I didn’t expect that. Will you stay with your brother?”
“No. I’m actually going to be staying with one of Will’s friends, Danny.”
“Oh…are the two of you…”
“No, Ma, God. We’re just friends.” Would it be like that from now on? Any guy I met would automatically be someone I was potentially dating?
“It would be okay if you were. You’re my son, and I love you. I know this is new for us, but all that matters to me is your happiness.”
Did she know Dad wouldn’t have felt the same? That he’d expected something different from me than he had from Will? Did she know about the treehouse? He’d said he wouldn’t tell her, and as far as I knew, she didn’t. What about my art? Still, even though those questions stumbled along in my head, I appreciated her. “Thanks. We’re friends, though. And I got a job at a furniture store.” I wasn’t like Will. I still wasn’t comfortable talking to my family about things like this.
“Selling?” she asked.
I rambled on about how I would primarily be building and putting products together, doing local deliveries, and assembling at customers’ homes. She talked about her knitting group and a new show she was watching and things like that.
At some point she sighed and said, “I tried not to do it, but I can’t. What’s going on with you and your brothers? Why all the changes? Moving and leaving the company?”
I leaned forward against the counter, rubbed a hand over my face. “I need to try something new, even if eventually I’ll realize that’s not what I want and end up right back here.” I’d never given myself permission to try before. It was time I did. “Carson Construction…that was Dad’s dream, which he made mine. I want to see if I have any dreams of my own.”
“Oh, Jonathan.” Mom wiped a stray tear from her eye and hugged me. “I know it’s been hard on you, and I hate that I didn’t realize it before. I should have known. I should have been there for you.”
“Mom, don’t.” Her guilt made me feel that way as well. She didn’t deserve it. I hadn’t wanted her to know.
“This is important for me to say. I feel like I let you down, and I don’t want to do that anymore. Whatever you need to do, you do. The rest will fall into place. Like I said, I just want you to be happy, and I want our family to be okay. You, Nolan, and Brad have always been so close.”
“We’ll be okay,” I assured her. “We’re family. It’s just different, and until I figure out my own shit, I can’t work through how to get things back to the way they were with them.”
“And I want William to be a part of that. All my boys.”
“I want that too,” I admitted.
“Look at you. I can’t believe everything you just said to me. I thought I’d have to pry the words out of you.”
“I’m trying, but it’s not easy. I might not speak for a week now.” We both laughed.
We had another cup of coffee, and I told her a little about Danny and the things Will was up to in the city. It wasn’t long until we said our goodbyes and I was on my way back to my duplex.
I’d just pulled into my driveway when my cell rang. Danny’s name was on the screen. I frowned, answering the call. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, Doom and Gloom. I don’t have much time because I’m on a break at work, but I wanted to let you know I stuck my foot in my mouth. I didn’t know quite how far your brooding silence actually went, and—”
“I don’t brood, and I’m not silent.”
“That’s actually not a bad thing. Guys think it’s hot. It makes you irresistible because it’s mysterious.”
Well, I had to admit the being-irresistible part didn’t sound bad, but I didn’t want that to be why a guy was interested. “Did you call to give me dating advice?”