His words made my bones ache but I had to stay strong. This was what was best in the long run. I couldn’t be who he needed me to be. I couldn’t open up and make myself vulnerable enough to ever really love him the way he deserved to be loved.
So I put the final nail in the proverbial coffin with my next words.
“I don’t want you, Moose. This was fun while it lasted but that’s all it was—fun. And now it’s over and it’s time to go back to real life. I’ll see you around.”
I turned and practically ran from his bedroom and out of the house. It wasn’t until I was sitting in my car and driving away that I released the tears.
From that day on whenever I’d run into Moose in town, we’d pretend the other didn’t exist and I’d always get this feeling of loneliness that welled up in my chest that I’d have to pretend I didn’t feel.
“You sure you’re ready to hear my answer?” Moose’s voice pulled me from the past and I met his gaze head-on.
Was I ready? I don’t know. But something in me needed to know his answer.
Chapter Six
Moose
She nods, almost hesitantly, but it’s enough for me.
When I picked her up this morning, I didn’t know how she’d play this. Complete obstinance, denial, throwing out hurtful words like she had the night we split? But something changed when I wanted to have a picnic with her. I don’t really care what it was that changed because she’s more relaxed and open with me, so I plan to take advantage of that fact.
“This here is about me winnin’ you back. I know you had it rough with your mom and for that I’m sorry. But she’s gone now and ain’t nothin’ gonna change that. It’s time for you to get on with your life and I plan to make it so you’re gettin’ on with me. So this...” I gesture to the picnic. “Is just step one in my plan to make you fall for me again. Now, you can be as stubborn as you want but I’m tellin’ you, I’m not gonna stop until you’re mine.”
I held my breath and waited for her to respond. One thing about Reagan was that she could be headstrong and obstinate as an ostrich, so I wasn’t sure how she’d react to my declaration.
“I need to apologize to you for the things I said that night. I didn’t mean them. Didn’t mean to imply that I was somehow better than you in some way. The only reason I said it was so you’d let me leave.”
“Why did you want to leave?” I know the answer, but I need to hear it from her lips if we’re ever gonna be able to make a real go of this.
She sucks in a breath and her gaze darts away for a moment. “I was scared. I was starting to feel things for you that scared me. I was slowly already losing my mom. What if I opened myself up to you and you hurt me? I didn’t think I could take more pain and do a good job of taking care of my mom at the same time.”
I nod and reach across the blanket to take her hand. “I missed ya, honey.”
Tears well in her eyes but I know her well enough that she won’t let them fall. Especially in front of me.
“I missed you, too. Anytime I saw you in passing, I always wanted to apologize, but I could never work up the nerve because if I was in your orbit again, I’d get sucked back in. And if you wouldn’t even let me get a word out because you hated me… I couldn’t take that either.”
A half smile tilts my lips. I don’t smile much but Reagan has a way with me most don’t. “Your apology is fine. Better late than never,” I say.
She pulls her hand from mine and lightly smacks me on the upper arm.
“I have to say, I’m shocked you even still care about me. It’s been so long.” She looks nervous when she confesses.
“Never stopped caring for ya. You just made it clear you didn’t want to know I was doin’ it.”
She bites down on her bottom lip and stares down at her hands. “So there was never anyone special in the time we were apart? I mean, I figured I would’ve heard about it in Buzz Wheel if there was, but we managed to stay under the radar, so you could have with someone else.” She looks back up at me.
I shrug. “Can’t say I never went out with anyone but sure as shit not anyone from town. Don’t need everyone up in my business. But nothin’ special. None of them like you.”
Her shoulders relax and she gives me one of her smiles that makes my heart beat faster.
“Heard you were dating that little dick Devon from the resort though.” I raise an eyebrow.
“Wow. That was years ago, I’m shocked you even know that.”
“I kept tabs.”
She sucks in a breath.
“Gotta say, didn’t like hearin’ that.”
She rearranges her position on the blanket so she’s sitting cross-legged. “It was never anything serious. Turns out the more time we spent together, the more the friend vibe grew between us.”
“Pissed me off somethin’ good when I heard that. Wondered why you’d push me away and then end up runnin’ to him.”
I feel bad for the look of guilt that crosses her face, but I’m desperate to hear her answer.
“He was safe.” She draws in a big breath. “I knew I could never feel about him the way I felt about you.”
A slow smile spreads across my face and warmth in my heart. “Honey, you’re gonna be sorry you said that.” I stand from the blanket and look down on her.
Her eyes flare wide. “Why?”
“‘Cause it’s gonna be a while before you get to eat any of this spread. I’m gonna spread you first.”
I hear her sharp intake of air and her eyelids droop down. Thank fuck I brought another blanket. I reach down into the bag, pull it out, and spread it out away from the blanket where all the food is.
When I turn back around, she’s standing, looking unsure. But I can tell that it’s not about whether or not she wants to do this. Nah, she’s pressing her thighs together and her nipples are hard. It’s because she knows what this means. If we do this, I’m not gonna let her push me away again—ever.
I close the distance between us in two long strides, place my large hands around her waist and lift her up. She knows just what to do. She wraps her legs around my waist and I hold her there with one hand, my other hand pushing into the hair pulled up at the back of her head. Then I bring my lips to hers and it’s like no time has passed.
She moans and surrenders her mouth to mine, letting me fuck her with my tongue the way I plan to fuck her on that blanket once I’m done reacquainting myself with her body. Our tongues slide together, and I squeeze her ass in my hand. I grip her hair tighter as she rubs her core against my abdomen like she needs to feel me.
I end the kiss and murmur against her mouth, “Don’t worry, honey, we’re just gettin’ started. Been years since I had you. I plan to be thorough.”
“Malcolm…” she says on a breathy moan.
She uses my real name. She’s the only one who ever does and she only does it when she’s desperate for me, which tells me all I need to know.
I gently set her down on the blanket. Her gaze tracks to my cock that’s currently trying to bust out of the prison that is my jeans. She licks her lips and I’m done for. Reaching into my back pocket, I pull the condom out and toss it onto the far side of the blanket.