I’ve never been on Moose’s motorcycle before. We’d barely got started dating before my life was upended with my mom’s diagnosis and then I insisted we keep our trysts over the years secret, not wanting to deal with the inevitable questions people would have and the pressure it would put on me. I had enough to deal with concerning my mom.
I climb on behind him and not wanting to get too close so I sit way back on the seat. Without a word, Moose’s hand comes around back and shoves me forward until I feel the heat of him pressed against my inner thighs. I suppress a shudder. With determination not to feel anything, I lean forward, which results in my breasts pushing into his wide back and wrap my arms around his sides, holding on to his jacket.
But my determination fades as we head away from town and the purr of the bike underneath me and the curves in the road make me lean into him. I’ve been on a dirt bike a few times when I was a teenager but never on a road bike. My nervousness settles the longer we ride and I find myself yearning to lay my cheek on his back.
The scenery whips past us and any signs of civilization disappear the farther we ride.
“Where are we going?” I shout over the sound of the wind.
He turns his head slightly to the side. “Not tellin’.”
I don’t bother arguing with him, knowing it’s useless. Instead, I settle in to enjoy the ride.
He begins to slow down some time later and pulls over to the side of the road. The bike crawls to a stop and he tells me to hop off.
When I do it feels as though my legs might give out from under me. Everything tingles from my waist down and it takes a moment before I start to feel normal.
Moose is next to get off, removing his helmet then attaching it to the bike. Then he comes over and his fingertips brush my neck as he removes my helmet.
“Thanks.” I run my fingers through my unruly hair and pull the hair elastic from the pocket of my pants, securing my curls in a messy top knot. “Is there something special about this stretch of road or something?” I don’t understand why we stopped here.
He doesn’t answer me. Instead, he opens up the storage compartments on the back of the bike and starts handing me stuff—a blanket, a small cooler bag.
“What’s all this?”
He turns and looks at me over his shoulder while he pulls two beers and another bag from the far compartment and then closes them both. “We’re picnicking. Let’s go.”
And with that, he heads off on a trail I didn’t notice that leads into the woods. I stand there for a second, stunned. Moose, tatted-up biker guy wants to have a picnic with me? But he’s not waiting for me, so I haul ass to catch up with him.
We keep a pretty good pace for about twenty minutes when we reach a clearing. It’s a huge field with tall grass and the odd wildflower poking up over top. The three feet high grass sways in the light breeze. The field slopes gently down for a long way and at the bottom is a lake that glistens before the mountain range.
It’s breathtaking and I stop walking for a moment to soak the scenery in. “How did you know about this place?” I ask.
He turns to me. “Sometimes when I go on rides, I’ll stop and hike into the woods. Noticed this trail once and discovered this.”
I’m trying to keep my defenses up around this man, but I can’t help but smile at him. “Well, thanks for bringing me here.” He blinks and his eyes widen. “What?” I walk past him farther down the field and he follows behind.
“Just wasn’t expectin’ you to give up the fight so easy.”
“Oh, there’s still fight left in me, don’t you worry.”
“I like a challenge, honey.”
I stop and turn to look at him and he walks past me with a chuckle then stops a few feet away, placing everything in his hands on the ground. Bringing my own things over, I help him set up. He tamps down the grass in our area so we have somewhere to sit and can still enjoy the view then he lays the blanket down and starts to set out the food.
He’s got some take-out sandwiches from Lard Have Mercy and potato salad along with some of Greta’s from Sweet Suga Things donuts. I’m practically salivating looking at the green tea donuts that are so wanted in Lake Starlight I wonder how long he waited in line this morning to get them.
We both take off our jackets and set them on the grass beside the blanket.
“This is quite the spread,” I say, sitting down.
“I aim to please.” He kneels down across from me, the food set out between us. Then he picks up one of the sandwiches and holds it out to me.
“Moose, what is this really all about?”
He stares at me for a moment, not answering.
But I need to know. It’s not that I wouldn’t enjoy another round in the sheets with him but I’m too fragile still to even think about doing that. I won’t be able to keep my walls up and then we’ll end up back where we were years ago. I think back to that day, hating the mental reminder of the look on his face when it all ended.
We’d just finished a round in the sack and I wanted to go again but I knew before I ever came to his place that night that it would be the last time. I was starting to feel things. Things that scared me and things I didn’t have time to deal with. My sole focus needed to be my mother.
So as soon as we were done I hopped out of bed and started to get dressed. “This is the last time I’ll knock at your door, Moose. I just wanted you to know.”
He sat up and the sheet fell to his waist, putting his delicious abs on display. “What the hell are you talkin’ about?”
I turned my back to him while I did up my bra and slipped my legs back into my jeans. “I can’t do this anymore. It’s too much. I have to concentrate on doing everything I can for my mom.”
“Bullshit.”
I looked back at him over my shoulder and he was out of bed in a split second, tugging on his boxer briefs.
“It’s not bullshit, it’s my life and I need to focus on my mom right now.”
He stomps over to me angrily, then gently places his hands on my shoulders. “I’m not trying to steal your focus from your mom but your life cannot be taking care of her twenty-four-seven. Let me fill in the gaps. Let me be there for you the way I want to.”
Tears welled in my eyes but I steeled myself and met his gaze. “I don’t want you to be there for me. I’m fine on my own. This is just becoming too much… it’s too much of a distraction,” I rushed to add.
He let go of my shoulders and laced his fingers together, resting them on top of his head. “So you’re gonna throw this away because you’re scared?”
I huffed then bent and snatched my shirt off the floor. “I’m not scared. I’m busy and stressed and dealing with a lot of complicated things someone like you couldn’t even imagine.”
His face became slack and void of emotion which was a scary look on a man of his size. “What’s that mean? Someone like me?”
“Forget it.” I shoved my hands in my shirt and pulled it over my head. “The point is, we won’t be doing this anymore. I was just trying to be honest, so you could…” God, I could barely get the words out of my mouth. “Move on with someone else or whatever.”
He crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m tryin’ to move on with you.”