I imagined myself walking into Valor on Monday, getting on the elevator… having to sit ten feet from Brandon and possibly run into Hudson and all the hope Judith suffused me popped like a lead balloon.
“Are you sure?” I asked, and hated the way I sounded so innocent, so childlike.
“I’m sure.” She reached out then and covered my hand with hers. Hers were warm, cracked, and dry and caked with flour dough, but strong and firm. I flipped my hand beneath hers over and squeezed her back.
Her warm touch shot straight through all the ravaged parts of me and warmed me to the tips of my toes.
“Thank you.”
Judith squeezed my hand before letting go. “You never have to thank someone for speaking the truth. It is what it is.”
There was a lot I had to thank her for, but she grabbed the silverware bin and started loading it with the mess she’d made from the napkins earlier.
I slid off the stool. A bus wouldn’t be at the stop for a while yet, but maybe the fresh air would help me think.
Could I seriously walk back into Valor Holdings on Monday with my head held high?
I had no idea. But I had three days to figure it out.
I had just reached the door to leave when Judith called my name, barking it out like a command. I twisted and looked at her over my shoulder.
“Yes?”
“I don’t want to see you in here again unless it’s for pie and only pie, you understand?”
I did. I knew exactly what she was saying. I gave her a smile, it was wonky and shaky, but at least I attempted it. “Happy Thanksgiving, Judith.”
She nodded and I took that as my cue to get moving.
The door squawked behind me and I pulled out my phone.
There was no way I was ready to go back to my apartment.
And I couldn’t go to David’s.
Some day and someday soon I would need answers from him, but it wasn’t going to be today.
So I turned the corner around Judith’s front door, found an alcove where I could be blocked from the wind, and I called Angie.
3
Lilly
Angie yanked me across the small console of her Toyota sedan and wrapped me in a hug before I could set down my purse.
“I’m so glad you called me,” she whispered into my hair. “Are you okay?”
Her hug was a warm blanket I shivered beneath. Despite all her kindness, accepting it was difficult. Calling her and asking for help was even harder, but there was no way I was going back to my apartment.
To Hudson.
To a home now littered with his deceit while my mind spun with all the other ways they lied to me.
I hadn’t told her much on the phone, only apologized for calling on Thanksgiving. I’d barely gotten out the first burst effort of speaking through my ragged and scratched throat before she said, “I’ll be there in ten.”
Now, her older car was warm, her hug was firm, and I was safe.
Not happy. But safe. Today, that would be enough.
Ten minutes later, we pulled up to a small ranch home with a one-car garage. Outside a few evergreen shrubs, everything else was dormant for winter but the landscaping curved cutely around the front windows of the home and the lines still showed in the lawn from mowing. Her home might have been small, but it was well cared for and I already knew before stepping inside it’d hold more love than mine ever did.
“Do you want to talk?” Angie asked, turning off her car but she didn’t move to get out. “We can. Or we don’t have to.”
I was already shaking my head. I’d been quiet on the ride to her house but there was no way to explain how twisted everything had become. I didn’t call her to unload, I called her to evade.
“Not yet.” I swore there was a pulse of disappointment in me not sharing but Angie opened her door.
When I glanced at her she was smiling, as if she wasn’t affected by my dismissal at all. “Last chance, because once we get in there, my mom is going to have you working your tail off for hours and if you need to unload some emotional crap before you get a really large knife in your hand…”
She playfully and teasingly wiggled her thick black brows. A smile cracked on my face, unexpected on a day like today.
“Later. But I swear, you’re in no danger if you give me knives.”
“All right then, girl. Let’s go do some cooking.”
I climbed out slowly, stared up at the small front porch covered with a metal roof, a faux small Christmas tree right by the front door, already lit up. I could tell Angie everything and she would still like me.
So why did I keep holding myself back?
I didn’t have time to think about it because a woman stepped out onto the front porch, grinning so wide I could see all her teeth. Her hair was still wrapped in a silky headscarf from sleep and she wore a white, fluffy robe tied around her waist.
“Well, get your behinds inside, girls. This dinner isn’t going to cook itself!”
She was holding open the door for us and I quickly hurried to catch up to Angie. I gave my eyes one more wipe to ensure all my tears were gone but as Angie’s mom scanned me, her smile softened, and she gave me a look that told me I failed.
“You must be Lilly,” she said.
“I am. It’s nice to meet you.” I held out my hand and she looked down at it before laughing.
She pushed it away and yanked me into a hug. “Sorry, sweetheart, but we’re huggers in this family and you may call me Mara or Momma. Whichever you’re more comfortable with. I’m glad you could join us today.”
“Thank you.” A golf ball-sized lump lodged in my throat. Momma. I wasn’t ready for that. “Mara. Thank you for having me.”
“Holidays are for families and friends, simple as that.”
She placed a warm palm to my cheek, patted my cheek twice and when she smiled, I knew for sure she saw my vivid pain. She stepped back, allowed both Angie and I to finally enter and she gave her daughter a hug the same as she’d done to me, despite the fact Angie lived here and had only been gone less than a half hour.
“All right. There’re potatoes to peel and bread to cut for stuffing. You two can get started on that while I go make myself presentable, okay?”
Her voice changed, taking on a more militant tone and I quickly glanced at Angie.
She wasn’t the least bit surprised. “You got it, Mama. Go get beautified.”
“Beauty is on the inside, not outside,” Mara called back. “Josiah!” she shouted, which was quickly followed by a pounding on the door. “Get your butt moving, boy! Time to be thankful for all we have!”
I covered my laugh with a hand and glanced at Angie.
Shrugging, like shouting across the house was no big deal, she said, “I told you, everyone helps on Thanksgiving. Josiah will be out cooking too once Mom can drag him out of bed.”
I thought of the Valentines and what they’d be doing. Probably the same while being loud and having a few drinks and watching football. They’d definitely be watching football. But would they be laughing today? Talking about me? Would they be figuring out how to fix the mess they caused or discuss how to get rid of me completely now that their secret was out?
I shook my head to clear my thoughts. There was no point. All of a sudden, keeping my hands busy and my mind focused on a task seemed like the best thing.