He took The Razor’s Edge from my hands—I gave him no choice, slamming it against his chest.
“So, you went from grabbing a book for me to sliding inside my wife? How exactly does that happen?”
I pushed past Ryan and headed to the sofa across from the fireplace. He sat on the arm of one of the chairs and stared at me.
“Could you stop being so crude? It’s Olivia. I know you’re pissed at me, and you have every right to be. I can’t justify what happened. But she’s your wife. So, stop acting like it’s anything but the most important woman in your life. Treat her with the respect she deserves. You want to lash out at me? Fine. Take your best shot. But leave her out of this.”
“It takes two. Her guilt is written all over this.”
“She’s not a cheater, Ryan.”
We were quiet for a few minutes, and it was me who finally broke the silence. “I never had a brother, okay? I have four sisters. I have a lot of friends I see every day at work. But the last time I had a real friend was in college.” I shoved my hand through my hair, frustrated and uncomfortable. “You and I were friends first. We talked about a lot of personal shit while working on this house together, well before Olivia and I even met. Then we shared something so personal and intimate—something I couldn’t have done with anyone else. I don’t want this to mess everything up. It’s not just about Olivia. I don’t want to lose your friendship either, you know.”
“Maybe you should’ve thought of that before sleeping with her behind my back.”
“Can’t you forgive me?” I asked. “Or is this what it’s always going to come to between us now?”
Ryan ran a hand over the book that was on his lap. “Salvation doesn’t come easy, Kerrington.”
“No. It doesn’t.”
“How am I supposed to get over the fact that you slept with my wife?” he asked, pinning me with his dark eyes.
“I’d already slept with her, Ryan,” I quietly reminded him.
“With me!” he said, exasperated.
“I knew it was a bad idea. I told you it was.”
“Yeah, but you also promised you’d distance yourself if feelings got involved. You lied. You stuck around. Kept taking more. Until it wasn’t enough, and you just had to have her for yourself. Did you think she’d leave me for you? Is that what you were hoping?”
I stood up, pissed now. “Screw you. If you want to talk without being an asshole, let me know. I have an open house to get ready for. Hopefully, after this weekend, I’ll be out of your hair for good.”
I turned and stormed from the library, leaving my good friend sitting there, wrestling with the truth of our betrayal, not even twenty feet from where it happened.
I’d messed up. There was no denying that. But the truth was, I still wanted Olivia. Nothing could ever make me stop wanting her. Not even seeing Ryan breaking as I walked down the stairs.
Maybe it was me who was the asshole, after all.
Chapter Five
Olivia
“WE REALLY DON’T need to go.”
I’m not sure if that was more for me or Ryan. He said he was going to talk to Brighton earlier and came back looking frustrated and sad. He’d changed into athletic clothes and went to the garage to work out, so I’d given him the space he seemed to need more of these days.
Now, we were getting ready for the open house. Cars were already arriving, and the party was coming to life. The house looked beautiful at night with outside lights illuminating the front entrance and abundant flowerbeds. The fairy lights we’d strung last week over the pergola twinkled across our yards like morse code—warning me to stay home.
Ryan sighed, and I could tell he wished that was exactly what we could do. But he calmly knotted his tie as he faced the mirror. “No. I think it’ll be good closure, for all of us. Plus, you could get some work from this. Everyone’s going to love the job you did over there. It’ll be good for business.”
“I already have my next client lined up, Ryan. I don’t need any more than that yet.”
“If you really want to get back to work, you need more than one client. As you know, it’s all about networking.”
“Thanks, but I know how to run my business,” I snapped.
“Yeah, I know. I seem to remember being there when you first learned how,” he said, arching a brow at me. “You know—in your MBA classes.”
Point taken.
“Sorry. I’m just . . .” I wrang my hands together, anxiety swelling in my unsettled stomach. I hadn’t been able to eat all day. I was so nervous about being in the same room with both of them again now that the truth hung naked and raw in the air between us.
He gave me a sad smile. “I know. It’s going to be a hard night, no matter how we slice it.”
“He’s going to be leaving soon,” I whispered.
He ran a hand over my hair. “I know, baby.”
I bit my lip as I looked up at him, searching for any of the compassion I remembered him having for Brighton. “Are you ready for that?”
He steeled his jaw, the twitch near his eye giving him away. “It’s probably for the best. Every day is a constant reminder, Liv. We all need to move on.”
I’d heard those words before. Was asked to move on before I was ready. I wouldn’t do it again. But now was not the time to press the issue.
“Let’s go,” I said instead, taking his hand in mine.
“We could be late.”
I knew this was an olive branch. The only way Ryan knew how to bridge us back together. I’d missed him so much these past few weeks—afraid he’d never be able to touch me again after everything that had happened. Relief flooded through me, my heart aching at how hard that must’ve been for Ryan to reach out for me this way.
I couldn’t help the small smile that lifted the corner of my mouth as I stared up at my husband. It wasn’t all sunshine and tulips for us yet, but it was a step in the right direction. Even I knew that. I tugged at his tie, letting a genuine smile overtake my face for the first time in weeks. “As long as you don’t mess up my makeup.”
Being thirty minutes late was a small price to pay for Ryan and me being intimate for the first time in almost a month. I had to admit, I’d missed him terribly. As Ryan slid inside me, I closed my eyes, letting him erase the memory of my betrayal with Brighton from my skin.
THE OPEN HOUSE was in full swing by the time we got there, and I recognized many of the neighbors and guests. Everyone congratulated me on a job well done, but somehow, all I felt was sadness. This house was meant to be flipped, but it was full of personal, intimate memories I was scared to part with. I hated seeing all these strangers in this home.
I looked around for Brighton but couldn’t see him anywhere. Ryan took my hand, and we headed toward the kitchen in search of a beer. The room started closing in on me before we even got there. There were too many people, and I was getting hot under all the lights. I tugged at his hand, trying to get his attention.
That’s when a family walked by. A small baby was bundled in a blue blanket and tethered to his father’s chest in a BabyBjörn. The mother’s hand was getting pulled by an overly excited little girl with strawberry blond ringlets. My heart hammered in my chest, but I couldn’t look away. The kids were just about the ages ours would’ve been, had they lived.