I wanted to smack her. I did not want to talk about Denning, not one iota, and I wasn’t sure Hazel did either. But she invited herself, so she’d just have to take it.
I started to speak, but Livy's hand on my knee stopped me. Then she said, "Well, I get that he loves someone as kind as you. That's great. But wouldn't you rather be with someone who's... you know, generally a good person?"
Hazel frowned. "He is. He just doesn't show it. You know, work is so stressful, and he's not entirely focused on other people sometimes."
Livy raised a brow. "I don't know. I'll try to reserve judgment, but from what I’ve heard so far, his attitude leaves a lot to be desired. You could probably do better."
Hazel shrugged. "You would think, but I dated a string of loser after loser. One of them even went to jail. So, to me, Denning is everything.”
Bryna was the soft touch of us all. "Guys, leave her alone about who she's dating. It's her choice. Besides, if he's good to her, that's all that matters. We're not going to interfere because Lord knows none of our men are perfect."
Telly snorted. “You see, this is why I gave up on men. It’s always something. Half of your problems would be solved if you suddenly found women attractive.”
“Who said anything about suddenly,” Bryna said with a wink.
Telly clutched her heart. “Now she tells me.”
Amelia shrugged. "Uhm, I'm still searching for my man, so the rest of you need to stop saying 'our men' okay?"
As I sat back, I surveyed the room full of these new friends that I'd made. Sure, I'd always had Amelia, and she was my go-to. My solid plus one. It was nice just to have some other occasional solid plus ones too. People I could actually count on if necessary. It made me happy that, even with Hazel’s presence, I’d finally found my group. All thanks to a man who’d shot me.
You know he shot you for your own good, and you love him. So find a way to forgive him.
That word…It had been rattling about in my brain and wouldn’t leave me be.
I was going to have to find a way to forgive him. Because despite my annoyance, despite having sworn that we wouldn't be fucking again, I missed him. I missed his lips, his smell. I missed that smile of his. I even missed some of his domineering tendencies. I just missed him. And I knew that the way I missed him meant I wouldn't be able to let him go. The question was how much I was willing to sacrifice to be with him.
East
After the car dropped me off, I walked briskly around the corner to the hotel entrance. I barely had time to think about what the hell I was going to say to her when I got up to the flat.
Maybe start with an apology again?
Yeah, I didn't really think she was much interested in my apology at the moment.
You better find something else to say then, because we're getting closer and closer to the penthouse.
I smiled at the doorman who opened the door for me. The concierge gave me a confused look. I normally took the private elevator. I didn't come to the front door.
All of this to avoid the woman I loved.
Except, she doesn't know you love her.
Okay. Yeah. Slight miscalculation. She didn't know that I loved her. It would probably help if I told her.
Are you sure about that?
Maybe it wouldn't. Maybe it would make her feel more betrayed. Hell, I didn't know. I didn't know what women wanted. I wasn't good at this. Give me something to break into, something to protect, something to hack, and I could do that all day. But this relationship shit? I was fucking it up. I knew it, and so did she. And so did my mates.
Before I made it to the elevator, my phone rang and I picked up automatically, expecting it to be Ben or one of the lads.
"Yeah, what's up?"
"Well, I have to say I'm shocked you answered."
I cursed inwardly as I realized my error. I’d answered my father's fucking call. I never answered his calls. I had a standing order with my team at the office to never, ever put him through to me. If he came to the office, I was to be warned immediately so I could make a quick escape, a fast exit, anything to avoid speaking to him.
But I'd fucked up. All because I'd been so worried about Nyla and her feelings.
"What do you want?"
He sighed. "This is how it's going to be? The last time I saw you, you were angry with me. I see you still are."
"Yes, do you have no idea why?"
"Not really, no."
"Wow. I see you have fully evolved into pure asshole. At least the way it used to be you wouldn’t pretend that you didn't know why I loathed you. Back in the day, you used to at least acknowledge that you were a bit of a dick. But this pretending that you haven't got a clue is charming."
Another sigh. "You and I are never going to see eye to eye, are we?"
"I could have told you that."
"I'm just checking on you. I know our next meeting is coming up soon, and Ben needs to set the agenda. I wanted to offer my assistance."
I stopped right there in the lobby, in the open for anyone to see, and asked, "What part of 'I want to be nothing like you' did you not quite understand?"
"You don't need to be like me, but I do have something to offer. And if you lads don’t tread carefully in the Elite, you could misstep. And that could be bad for all of us."
"Define all of us, Dad."
"Fine, for me, but also for your so-called mates, as you say. Things are treacherous. Not everyone was pleased about your friend becoming Director Prime. You have a lot of people that need to be impressed, a lot of people who need to be reassured."
"You recognize we're not in the business of reassuring people, right?"
"There's no need for you to be this difficult."
"I'm not being difficult. I just don't think you and I have anything in common or a reason to have anything to do with each other. I'm just exhausted, Dad. I don't know what else to say to you or how else to explain it. I want nothing to do with you, old man."
He sighed. "Oh, one day you will need me and you will find yourself alone."
"Okay, if that's all then."
"Damn it, East. You are my son. Now more than ever, we have a legacy to uphold for the Hale and Du Mont names."
I laughed harshly. "Let's not pretend that the Hale name even touches the Du Mont name in stature or importance. I wonder, did you ever think that Mum was marrying beneath her when she agreed to marry you?"
I hadn't quite expected the cursing, but it was a pleasant surprise. At least my father wasn't all robot.
"You are the most ungrateful son."
"I know. I've heard it before. In the meantime, have you called to check on your daughter? The one expecting the arrival of a new baby soon?"
There was silence on the line.
"Ah, I see. Okay, here's how this works. If you want access to me, you need to make amends somewhere else. Until then, you and I have nothing to speak about." Then I hung up on him. He knew what he'd done, who he'd harmed. All those years of everything he’d said and done to AJ, the men he'd tried to force on her… I would never forget her face after being stuck alone in a room with Garreth Jameson.