I still want to, but for some reason I hesitate in telling her. It has nothing to do with him. I'm not embarrassed. Not at all.
I don't actually know what is causing this panic. Maybe it's because I'm having a hard time imagining life together. Even the life that I saw back in Seattle, that's not the life that we might have.
Everything is still up in the air.
The one thing that I'm sure of is that he can't move here. This is too close to the prison. This is too close to where everything happened.
People here have long memories and his picture has been plastered all over the news here a lot more than it ever was anywhere else.
“Tell me what you're thinking, Isabelle.”
“I'm just worried about what’s going to happen. There are so many unknowns. He's free now, but who's to say that it will stay that way. If I were to marry him then I would probably have to go on the run. I’d have to live a secret life. I love him more than anyone else in the world but that's a lot to ask, you know what I mean?”
“I know exactly what you mean,” Libby says, nodding her head. She reaches over and puts her hand over mine.
Just then, the girls come over and demand to put Frozen on the television. Libby rolls her eyes but agrees.
When she comes back to the table, we finish eating. I start to ask her about what's going on in her life, but then she suddenly looks up somewhere far into the distance.
“What's wrong?” I ask.
“Nothing,” she shakes her head. “I was just thinking about something.”
I wait for her to explain.
“Well ever since you told me about that podcast about Tyler's case and Mallory Deals, that attorney who is convinced that he's innocent, I have listened to all of the episodes twice and have gone through all of the evidence that he has collected and shared on his website as well as the forums that are devoted to it.”
I nod. I know exactly what she's talking about. I have been through all of that myself.
“I had no idea that you were so interested.”
“It's not every day that a case you listen to actually touches you personally.”
“So, what do you think about it?”
“I think that he's innocent. I also think that the prosecutor and the cops possibly have DNA evidence that they haven't tested and don't want to test to prove his innocence.”
“What do you mean? Why do you say that?”
“Someone had mentioned it in one of the episodes. The attorney interviewed one of the clerks at the police department. Everything was very hush-hush. No names given, even the voice was distorted, but he made me think that they have something. Something they didn't disclose to the defense team.”
“That's illegal,” I point out. “They have shared everything with them.”
“Exactly. That's the problem. They're covering up the fact that they have a DNA sample they haven’t tested because they suspect that it belongs to someone else. That's a huge problem, but it's also a really big step in getting his sentence overturned.”
12
Isabelle
My heart starts to beat a little faster. I smile at the corner of my lips, but I'm too nervous to let myself enjoy the moment.
“Nothing about this is definitive and it's going to be impossible to prove.”
“Nearly impossible,” Libby corrects me. “You're right. Even if they do have a DNA sample, there's also the possibility that it might belong to him and that it doesn't prove anything.”
“He didn't do it,” I say, suddenly feeling very sorry for myself and for Tyler.
“I know,” she nods. “I mean, I get that feeling because even Deals says that he probably has an alibi. It's all very unclear as to what he was doing right before the murder.”
“It's not unclear,” I say, shaking my head. “I know exactly who he was with and what he was doing. The problem is that she won't testify. She won't make a statement. After what happened in the desert, she'll never come clean about it.”
Libby looks at me puzzled. I have told her bits and pieces about this before, but now that I know that she believes me, I tell her everything about Tessa.
I don't know if I should or shouldn't have. It's just that it's so rare to find someone who believes you or believes something so completely unbelievable that you believe and you can't help but connect with that person and try to build as many bridges as possible.
Libby listens carefully and then pulls out her notebook and even makes notes. She startles me when she does this because I hadn't considered putting any of this in the writing, but she promises me that she keeps this notebook safe and away from anyone who might want to read it.
Even Darren, her husband.
I reach over and look through what she has. They are copious notes that she has taken on the podcast as well as on anything that she found on various sites. She adds my information about Tessa to that.
“You’re not going to show that to anyone, right?”
She shakes her head.
Clearly, she's not understanding what I'm trying to get at.
“Like Darren?” I ask quietly.
She looks up at me and narrows her eyes.
“I'm sorry,” I whisper. “I don't want to offend you, but this is very sensitive information.”
“He knows nothing about this. He knows that I like crime stuff and that I like to take notes about different cases that I investigate over the Internet. This notebook is just like any of the other five that I have on various cases.”
She walks me over to her bedroom and opens the top drawer of her dresser where she keeps a stack of notebooks in addition to all of her bras and panties. She shows me the ones about various missing cases and different unsolved mysteries.
“How long have you been doing this?” I ask.
“A few years. It's relaxing. It's something interesting to think about.”
“Murder?” I ask.
“Well, it sounds terrible when you say it like that,” she says, tossing her head back and laughing. “In a way, yes. I just like watching different programs, listening to podcasts, and watching YouTube videos. I put together a picture of the crime. Different programs have different details and then I go on forums, different Facebook groups, and Reddit and try to figure out if anyone else has any other information.”
“What have you found about Tyler's case?”
“Unfortunately, they're not that many people siding with him. Most think that it's an open and shut case of an angry husband killing his wife and her lover after finding them in bed together.”
I shudder and rub my shoulders as a cold sweat runs down my spine.
“There's also another problem,” Libby says.
“What is it?”
“He's not here. He's not there to actually file for the appeals. He's gone. Missing. I've looked into it a little bit and it's going to be an uphill battle to get them to overturn his sentence. It was already going to be that if he were in prison, but now that he's gone, I'm just not sure what's going to happen.”
I nod.