Rebel moves her face back against my chest, her body shaking with silent sobs as I rub her back, giving her time to grieve.
“I demand to see my sons.” My mother’s voice carries through the emergency room, and I immediately stiffen.
Izzy Caldo is intense on a good day, but knowing we were in an accident will no doubt take her to a whole new level.
“Carmello and Rocco,” Ma says to someone. “Where are they?”
Rebel’s too lost in her grief to notice my name, too busy sobbing against my chest, her limbs tangled around my body.
When my ma storms through the curtains, her mouth is open and she is about to say something until her eyes lock on me and then slide to the small woman curled in my arms.
“Hi,” I mouth to her. “I’m fine.”
Ma’s shoulders slump forward in relief. “She okay?” she whispers, her chin dipping toward Rebel.
I give her a little shrug. “Not really.”
“Hey, sweetie,” Ma says in a soft and sweet tone, moving toward the other side of the bed. “You two okay?”
Rebel’s sobs change, turning into a sniffle before her head comes up from my chest and she sees my mother. Her fingers tighten around my T-shirt again, but she does nothing to move out of my embrace.
“Rebel, this is my mother, Izzy,” I tell her.
“Are you okay?” my mother repeats, not really reading the room. “What can I do?”
“Carrie’s gone, Ma.”
My mother’s face pales. She knows Carrie. She met her a few times when she came to visit Mello.
They weren’t exclusive, but they’d seen each other enough over the last year to be on my mother’s radar.
“Carrie’s gone,” Rebel repeats my words before collapsing back against me, clinging to me like I am her lifeline.
My mother’s frown is immediate and severe. I can only take the sadness of one woman at a time, and right now, I have to focus on Rebel.
“Go check on Carm, Ma. We’re okay. I need a few more minutes with her.”
Ma reaches out, placing a hand on Rebel’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry, sweetie.”
Rebel doesn’t respond or shrug off my mother’s touch. Her tears fall faster and harder than before as the reality of losing her friend seeps deeper into her soul.
“Can I do anything?” Ma asks us.
“I’d like to stay with Rebel until someone comes for her, Ma.”
My mother only nods before finally leaving us alone.
Rebel peers up at me, and I glance down, meeting her sad blue eyes. “You can go. I’ll be fine,” she says flatly.
“No,” I tell her, not moving or releasing my hold on her.
“Go, Rocco. I’m not your problem,” she says through a sniffle and releases her grip on my T-shirt. “Go with your mother.”
“No.”
She shakes her head, pushing against my chest to get me gone. “Go. Just go. I want to be alone. I need to be alone,” she begs.
“I refuse to leave you alone.”
“Are you going to stay at my side forever?” she snaps.
“Sugar… Shut it.”
“Fuck you. Right now, I want you to leave,” she tells me, wiping the tears still flowing down her cheeks. “Please just go. Don’t make me beg. Your family needs you.”
“They can wait.”
“Get the fuck out!” she hollers, hitting my chest as hard as she can with her one good hand.
I’m off the bed a second later, wanting her to be calm and knowing my presence isn’t what she needs or wants anymore.
“I’m a big girl,” she spits. “I can and always do take care of myself.” She turns her back to me, curling into the fetal position.
I watch her for a moment, barely breathing, waiting to see if she changes her mind.
But she doesn’t turn back around.
She doesn’t call my name.
She does nothing.
I no longer exist, and she makes it perfectly clear.
I stalk out of the room a second later, and my mother is plastered at my side, checking me over like she did when I was a kid.
“Are you okay?” she asks in a rushed voice, placing her hand on my stomach as she guides me down the hallway.
“Physically I am, Ma, but mentally…”
“Your brother has a broken leg from the damn pedal. But you’re going to feel like shit tomorrow, and so will he. Your mind will take longer to heal, baby.”
She pulls me closer, snuggling into my side.
“Come on, baby, your dad’s waiting for us. He took Mello to the car already. You two are staying with us tonight so I can keep an eye on you.”
I’m not about to argue with her.
There is no point.
You can never win an argument with Izzy Caldo. I know that better than anyone.
“Whatever you want, Ma,” I tell her, happy as hell to have a mother who cares so much about me and even happier to be alive.
“Ma.”
She tips her head up and smiles. “Yeah, baby?”
“I’m never falling in love.”
Her smile fades. “Never is a long time, Rocco. You’ll feel differently tomorrow.”
“I won’t,” I promise her.
She ignores my statement, muttering something under her breath as she walks me toward the car.
5
Rebel
Ten Years Later…
I peer up at the cabin, shielding my eyes from the afternoon sun, and push down the way my stomach twists with the memories.
Ten years have passed since I stood in this very spot, laughing in Rocco’s arms as he nibbled on my neck. But then my world shifted, and in a blink of an eye, Carrie died.
I’d known tragedy before.
Hell, my entire life had been a train wreck. My father overdosed when I was in kindergarten, and my mother ran off soon after, preferring the feel of a needle in her arm to being a single mother.
My aunt got stuck with me since she was my only living relative. My mother left me on her doorstep with a note pinned to my T-shirt, taking off without ever looking back. There wasn’t a day that passed afterward when my aunt didn’t make it clear I was more of a burden than a blessing in her life.
She didn’t have to remind me—although she did every damn day—because people can feel when they’re unwanted…even at a young age.
My grades were good enough to earn me a full ride to college. After graduation, I didn’t wait until August to head to campus like most teenagers. I left the first second I was allowed to enter my dorm, leaving my aunt and the toxic environment behind me.
That’s where I met Carrie. She was the closest thing I had to family in my life. We had two years together, and in that time, we loved each other like sisters. The day she died, I truly became lost again.
I was destined to be alone.
Life had taught me that hard lesson.
Every time I loved someone, or they loved me, they didn’t stick around very long.
It was my curse, and no one could tell me otherwise.
But for the first time, I was the one doing the leaving, and that put me in a bad way. Nearly broke, hauling ass for a better life, far away from the hands of a dangerous man.