“Do you want to talk about it?” Cali is…chatty. She enjoys talking. I enjoy listening to her because her voice is lyrical, and more often than not, it’s her words chasing away the nightmares that wake me up every night.
Rolling to my side, I see her staring at me. “Not really.” She has no idea what happened either. Nobody does. Nobody ever can.
“Do you need a ride to work?” We both serve at the cute diner near Petal’s husband's bike shop. Petal and the kids come over often. So do the guys who work with her husband.
“No, I need to clear my head.” Working the morning shift after a night shift is a relief because exhaustion helps keep the nightmares at bay. Last night was the first in over a week, I haven’t woken up screaming.
“If you change your mind…” She yawns and falls back asleep. Cali is running too. I can see it in her eyes. But her past isn’t as tragic as mine. She’s got two men in love with her, but they keep secrets from her, and she can’t live like that. I don’t blame her one bit.
Getting up quietly, I grab my clothes from the dresser and head to the shower. After washing up quickly, I braid my damp hair before getting dressed and applying a light layer of makeup. Slipping on my Chucks, I quietly pad to the kitchen where I take my purse off the counter, grab a banana, and get a Starbuck's dark caramel cold brew can from the fridge.
Coffee is one thing Cali and I agree on needing to keep stocked. She likes the unsweetened dark brew while I could drink the dark caramel all day long. On the days we work at the diner, we get two free meals. Which helps more than either of us will admit. Waitressing isn’t a lucrative gig, but it helps pay the bills, and between the two of us, we get by.
As I exit our building, the sky is grey with clouds. Rain is in the air. The forty-five-minute bus ride to work is cut in half and filled with silence because of the morning's early hour. As I get off at my stop, I walk past my sister’s husband, Cade’s, shop and see it’s dark inside as I stare at the building. It’s plain but stands out on the street. Cade, Jace–his best friend–and his little brother Beckett have really built a business to be proud of.
I envy Petal that. The life she has. The love and kids. I thought I wanted that once. Maybe on some level, I still do. But after the life I've experienced, I’m not sure I can risk it. Nor if I want to.
Shaking my head, I carry on towards work, needing to get the day over with and maybe think about constructing a life plan. Something. I don’t know if I can stay here, and no matter what, I definitely can’t continue working dead-end jobs just to pay the bills.
Jace
* * *
For six months now, I’ve been frequenting the diner across the street from Controlled Bikes after bribing the owner to give me Calla’s schedule. I don’t believe she suspects anything. I’ve been coming here long before she showed up, just not nearly as often.
From the minute I opened that door on Christmas morning, I’ve damn near been in love with her. Something inside me shifted when her nervous gaze met mine. I intimidate her, though. Every time we’re in the same room together, she damn near hides behind Petal.
I think we’ve said maybe two dozen sentences to each other because she’s alarmed by my size. If I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin, I’d be insulted. But given the fact, she’s a good foot shorter than me and weighs probably a hundred pounds soaking wet, I’m not surprised. People who don’t know me get a little freaked out. The muscles and tattoos don’t help.
I’ve never given a shit about any of it before either. But with Calla, I try to remain low-key and unobtrusive because I want her trust. I want her to look at me with something else other than fear. I get the feeling that’s the only emotion she’s truly familiar with, unfortunately.
Petal tries so hard to get Calla over to the house quite a bit, but the younger woman declines as politely and often as she can. Petal won’t say anything because she doesn’t want to push her sister away, but Cade and I are about fed up.
Cade, his brother Beckett, and I grew up together. We’ve run around our entire lives. Own a business together. I’ve never felt like anything other than the third brother in our trio. We’re close. When one of us hurts, we all do. And Petal is hurting. Lily and Mac are dying to know their aunt better, but the baby doesn’t care too much beyond the kids, Petal, and Cade.
Lily turns five this weekend, though, and I’m here to guilt Calla into coming to the party. Petal has been stressing about asking her because she doesn’t want to be let down again, and I intend to make sure that doesn’t happen.
“Refill?” the owner asks as he places my order down, and I nod just as I hear the bell over the door jingle. Without turning around, I know it’s Calla.
I wait until she heads to the back and returns to the front to announce my presence. If she realizes I’m here before she goes to put her stuff in her locker, she takes longer to come out.
Cutting into my omelet, I watch for her out of the corner of my eye. I’m halfway through my breakfast before she makes an appearance. My coffee is empty again, so I lift the cup and meet her startled gaze. Quickly spinning towards the coffee machine, she takes a few breaths before grabbing a pot and striding towards me. Spine straight, shoulders back, head held high. She puts on a damn good show.
I wait until she’s finished pouring the hot liquid before I grasp her wrist. I see her chin wobble, and when she bites her lip, I want to be the one doing that.
“Was there something else you needed?” I detect a slight tremble in her tone.
“Can you sit for a second?” I glance at the empty bench across from me.
She shakes her head first. “I’m working.”
“Please sit, Calla.” I’m the only one here right now, and Jo gets the place going for the staff before they start arriving. I know she hasn’t got anything pressing to do at the moment.
Biting her lip again, she glances at Jo behind the counter before reluctantly sitting across from me.
Calla stares down at her lap. Twisting her hands together, I imagine. Breaking the silence, I say, “Lily turns five this weekend.” She does look at me then. “Petal, Cade, and the kids would love it if you would come to her party on Saturday.” She opens her mouth to speak, and I already know she’s about to make an excuse not to. “I know you don’t have to work; I talked to Jo. It would mean a lot to everyone if you came.”
Her jaw shuts, and her eyes wander around the room for a solid minute before she sighs and asks, “What do you think she’d like for her birthday?”
I can’t hide my grin. “She adores all things princesses and tutus. Find a Disney store, and you can’t go wrong.”
While clearing her throat, Calla’s cheeks turn a light shade of red before she asks quietly, “Are there any around here?”
Frowning, I do a quick search on my phone. “Looks like the closest ones are in Lakewood or Torrance.” I glance up as she bites that damn lip again. “I’ll give you a ride. I have to go shopping for her still. This way, I’ll know where you live so I can pick you up on Saturday.” I see the reluctance on her face. “Come by the shop after your shift, and we’ll go. We can grab dinner too.”