“It’s because she’s a woman, Dad.”
“That’s not why.” He turned back to me. “It’s…” He shook his head again, clearly unable to find the answer.
“Dad, I’ve been through this myself. I get it. It’s hard.”
It was like he hadn’t heard what I said. “She’s…my little girl.” He closed his eyes and released a sigh. “I want the perfect man for her. I want someone who will treat her right. I want someone who really deserves her. I never want to watch her go through what you went through, what Derek went through…because I think it might kill me. It’s not because she’s a woman. It’s because she’s my little girl.”
“And your favorite.”
He shook his head. “She’s not—”
“Dad, Derek and I already know, and we don’t care. She’s kinda my favorite too.”
Dad stared at me for a while and stopped resisting. “She’s a grown woman, closer to thirty than twenty, and I’ve never concerned myself with her personal life, never asked her when she planned to settle down, have kids, never asked her a single sexist question…because she’s smart, successful, independent, doesn’t need a man unless she wants one. So, this is the man she wants. That scares me a little bit.”
“Yeah, me too.”
He was quiet for a really long time, just staring out the window. “Are you going to tell me what you think of him?”
“My opinion doesn’t matter, Dad. And honestly…neither does yours.”
He turned back to me.
“If your mom told you not to be with Mom, would you have listened?”
Just the mention of her made his eyes pulse with love. “Never.”
“If this is the guy she wants to be with, we need to be supportive. In reality, you’re never going to like whatever guy she brings home anyway, because no one will ever be good enough for her.”
“You’re going to be a good father, Dex. You know more than I do…and I have three kids.”
“Uh, not really. I already went through this whole thing with Daisy, and she put me in my place, like she always does. At least I was able to give you a heads-up, so you don’t make the same mistakes.”
He studied. “So, you didn’t like him.”
“No, I wouldn’t say that. I just… I’ll never like anyone.”
Six
Sicily
Every Saturday, we worked half a day.
We opened an hour later than usual so we could sleep in a bit, and we were done at lunchtime. Andrea wasn’t scheduled, so Dex did all that stuff on his own, getting their vitals and doing the testing that was necessary, without complaint.
I would have done it myself, but I wasn’t qualified.
Zach and I didn’t mention Dex again, but he was irritated that I had to work part of the weekend when I already worked so much as it was. What should have been a fun fling had turned into a relationship…sort of. We weren’t exclusive and we weren’t serious, but we spent a lot of time together.
At the end of the day, I walked into Dex’s office to deliver his lunch, and instead of packing up stuff to fly out the door or finish his charting, he relaxed into the couch, his head tilted back, his eyes staring at the ceiling.
“Doing okay?” I set the food on the coffee table.
He turned to me when he heard my voice. “Just kinda dreading something tonight…”
We didn’t talk that much anymore, and I was surprised how much that affected my feelings toward my job. I was still passionate about the work we did, but without that companionship between us, it wasn’t as fulfilling as it used to be. And I just missed him…in general. “What is it?” I sat on the couch beside him.
His fingers were interlocked on his stomach, and his head was still turned my way, his brown eyes visibly fatigued. “Daisy is introducing Mason to my parents tonight.”
“Ooh…” I knew Dex didn’t like Mason, even though he didn’t really have a reason. “Is that why your dad stopped by the other day?”
He nodded. “He’s having a hard time with it.”
“Well, I don’t think your dad is going to like him either.”
He released a sarcastic chuckle. “My dad’s hair is gonna turn gray overnight.”
“What about your mom?”
“My mom is cool. She’s not an overprotective asshole like the three of us.”
“You guys aren’t assholes… It’s sweet.”
He shrugged. “I talked my dad down, so it should go over smoother than it normally would. But yeah, he’s not thrilled about it.”
“I hope it goes well. Daisy’s a smart girl who can make good decisions, so I wouldn’t worry about it too much.”
“Yeah.” He sat up and looked at the meal in front of him. “Looks good.” He grabbed the food I’d brought for him, tamales with rice and beans, and he leaned back to eat it with his fork. “You have plans tonight?” He didn’t look at me as he asked the question, but his tone was different, like he was anticipating what I would say.
“Nothing big. Just dinner.” We were right next to each other, but it seemed like we were worlds apart.
Dex ate his lunch and didn’t have any follow-up questions.
I decided to change the subject to something that was easy. “So, a transplant. That’s intense.”
“Yeah.” He cut into his tamale and ate it in a couple bites. “It’s…it’s a pain.”
“I’ve never heard you describe a procedure that way.”
“Because it’s all or nothing, you know?” He scooped his fork into rice and beans and took a few bites before he continued to talk. “When something goes wrong in the operating room, there’re different procedures to keep the patient alive, to stall until you figure out exactly what the problem is. But when it comes to a transplant, if their body rejects it…that’s it. It’s not like you put the old heart back in. You can’t push drugs or voltage into a patient that doesn’t have a working heart. And even if the transplant is successful, the body could reject it later… It’s just a lot.”
“I never considered that.”
“It’s complicated.” He ate his food until his plate was empty and returned it to the coffee table. “But I try to think of it as, the patient has to take the risk. Otherwise, they’re going to die anyway. All I can do is make the transfer and leave the rest up to…science, God, not sure. But it’s out of my control.”
“Yeah.” Sometimes I couldn’t believe what Dex was capable of, the amount of responsibility that was constantly on his shoulders, because he behaved like it was weightless. He didn’t let the stress get to him, let it dissolve his smile. It was truly heroic, how much he sacrificed without complaint.
“You can get going. I’m just gonna catch up on paperwork since I don’t have plans until later tonight.”
I was free to go, to walk out of that office and live my life, but I just wanted to stay there. “You haven’t mentioned the Doctors Without Borders stint in a while. Is that still happening?”