In my life, I’ve come to regret so much. Choices I made. Words I let free. But I know, with certainty I won’t soon, if ever, feel remorse for this.
Étienne is only trying to protect me. Shield me from the curious eyes and whispers that are certain to follow. Most importantly, he’s trying to protect me from rejection. Because even though Asa hasn’t pulled his gaze from mine, he still hasn’t walked toward me.
I realize then he is going to do this. Asa is going to marry her.
At the thought, most, if not all, of my energy seeps out of my pores. My body sags forward and if Étienne still didn’t have a hold on me, I think I would’ve fallen forward.
Briefly, my eyes close as the truth sinks in. When they open, I give my brother a brief nod. That is all Étienne needs for confirmation. He hurriedly turns me toward the vestibule as though I’m going to change my mind at any second.
As we walk away, I hear the heavy accent of Toy Altwood. “Lord have mercy! Now we have ourselves a proper Southern weddin’.”
CHAPTER TWO
Nathalie
I didn’t hold my peace.
I let my objection free, but it was too late. Of course it was too late. It was his wedding day. My heart furiously beats against my chest as Étienne guides us out of the church and into the blazing sun.
There’s commotion behind us. I think I hear my other brother’s voice, Livingston, but I cannot be certain. Because right now, all I can think is, You didn’t succeed. The love of your life is marrying someone else as we speak.
The words are true, but it doesn’t make them any less painful. My breath comes out in shallow gasps. Why did I do this? Why did I come back?
“You’re all right,” my brother says as he guides us away from the church doors.
Voices behind us grow louder and then there are hands on my back, soothing pats on my arms. I turn in time to see my sister-in-law, Serene, on one side. In her arms she holds my nephew Trace. On the other side is Rainey with Livingston beside her.
“Oh, sweet Lord, Nathalie. What have you done?” Rainey groans.
“Give her some space you two,” Étienne admonishes.
“Give her space? I haven’t seen her in forever,” Serene replies and turns her attention to me. With wide eyes, she looks at me and hugs me so tight I can barely breathe. “I’ve missed you.”
Everything is occurring all at once. I’ve missed her more than she knows, but all I manage to do is wait for the hug to finish, smile and nod at her.
Serene’s momentarily stunned by my response. “That was… that was amazing and bold what you did back there.” Serene flings her hand toward the church.
“People are goin’ to be discussin’ this for weeks,” Étienne grumbles.
“He’s right,” Serene reluctantly concedes. “But it will die down … in a few months.”
“Did you see how he looked at her?” Serene holds a hand to her heart. “He started to leave Juliet at the altar.”
“But he didn’t. Because it’s his weddin’ day,” Rainey says, enunciating each word slowly.
“I am aware of that,” Serene replies, just as slowly.
I break my silence. “Are the two of you aware that I can hear everything you’re sayin’?”
At once, they quiet down and look in my direction. It’s then I take in their attire. My brothers are dressed in suits, complimenting Rainey and Serene in their elegant gowns. The same cannot be said for me. With my travel suit covered in wrinkles from all the sitting on the train and sweating, I make a dreadful sight. Why didn’t I change before I walked through those church doors? Because I wasn’t thinking about my attire. I was thinking about the only man I’ve ever loved.
“Nathalie, when we invited you to a weddin’, you realize it was me and Rainey’s upcomin’ nuptials, correct?” Livingston asks with a smile. As I take him in, I notice Alex is holding his hand. My niece stares at the grownups around her with solemn eyes that are remarkably like Étienne’s.
I didn’t need Livingston to remind me he is soon to marry my best friend. I thought of it often. In part disbelief and part happiness. Mostly because, growing up, Livingston loathed Rainey and considered her to be a hellion. Rainey thought Livingston’s full-time occupation was breaking the heart of every woman he encountered.
To their credit, both were right.
With my entire family surrounding me, I give them a weak smile. “Hello to all of you.”
The four of them look at one another. Étienne clears his throat and becomes their delegate. “Nathalie, we love to see you, but none of us expected to see you in this capacity.”
“I for one think this should happen much more,” Livingston cuts in. “Did you see Asa’s momma? I think she nearly fainted.” He steps forward with a smile and gives me a tight hug. “Welcome home.”
Being surrounded by my family marginally lifts my spirits, until I hear the faint clapping coming from within the church. Everybody tenses.
Étienne looks to Livingston, then Serene. Serene to Étienne, then to me. Serene passes my nephew to Rainey and links her arm through mine. Her eyes are soft and filled with compassion. Once, long ago, she almost lost Étienne to someone else. She knows the pain I’m feeling.
The only difference is, she and Étienne found a way back to one another. He didn’t marry the wrong woman.
“Let’s go to Belgrave,” Serene says.
Never have four words sounded so appealing. The four of them close in on me, as though I’m going to break into a run. But there’s nowhere for me to go.
All I have left is them, and Belgrave.
My eyes nearly fill with tears. I nod and walk away from the church.
“As you can see, we had your room transformed into a nursery.”
I peek inside. Hard to believe this room was once mine. Two white-iron brass beds have replaced where my queen bed once was. Matching quilts of vibrant colors are on them. On one is a Raggedy Ann, gently leaning against the pillows. In front of the windows is a doll-sized pram, and on the floor is a play tea set with teddy bears poised behind each cup.
My heart swells at the image. I grew up in this room. It’s only fitting my niece does the same. I step away from the doorway and look to my sister-in-law. “I’d certainly hope this is a nursery.”
Serene leans in, her eyes dancing mischievously. “It’s really Étienne’s favorite room. Brings out his inner child.”
My oldest brother is less than amused by Serene’s joke. I smile as she leans into me, her shoulders gently lifting up and down. Serene finds herself amusing. I forgot that about her.
You did the right thing by coming home.
But it’s evident from Asa’s wedding and the nursery in front of me that was once my old room that I didn’t do the right thing fast enough.
“Alex loves her room. She likes to be alone a lot of the time.” With those words, Serene and I look in Étienne’s direction. His eyes widen and he shrugs his shoulders. “Alex is a lot like Étienne, and to be honest, I think she might be a genius.”
Behind Serene, Étienne mouths the word “no” and shakes his head. Politely, I nod at Serene, and wait for her to continue.