Whatever had drawn them to each other, Finn thanked God for it. He’d gained two friends who really got him, who didn’t think he was a weirdo or depraved for liking guys. There had been few students who’d felt like that, but knowing Levi and Seb had his back had been a godsend. And Seb didn’t give a shit if everyone knew he liked dick.
“There was safety in numbers back then,” Finn added. He caught something out of the corner of his eye, and froze as his fantasy man walked right by his house, his chocolate lab straining at the leash.
Has he walked by here before? Finn didn’t think so. He was certain he would have noticed.
“Finn? You still there?”
“Still here.” Finn watched as the tall guy with salt-and-pepper hair turned down Belvidere Avenue, heading for the shore. That was the closest Finn had gotten to him, and he liked what he saw. Fantasy man had to be in his forties or late thirties at a push. And now that Finn had seen him up close, he wasn’t about to move from this position in case he missed him coming back.
“You sure about that?”
Finn dragged his gaze away from the window. He knew from experience that Fantasy Man would be at least half an hour on the beach. “So what’s with all the reminiscing?”
“I guess I was thinking about high school. Maybe it was seeing you guys. Remember when Aaron started dating that girl—what was her name? Daisy or something?”
Finn laughed. “I remember she didn’t last long.” When Daisy had found out who Aaron’s friends were, she’d dumped him. “You think maybe she felt like we’d infect him or something? That our gay vibes would rub off on him?”
“Who cares what she thought? His next girlfriend was so much nicer. Vicky. She was a sweetheart. I think she hung around with Teresa, which makes sense. Teresa didn’t give a damn that we were gay either.” Levi let out another wry chuckle. “God, you remember that camping trip Aaron organized when we were seventeen? Ry swore it was an orgy.”
Finn cackled. “Well, obviously. Eight guys going away for a weekend, in cars stuffed with camping gear… That says orgy to me. That was my first camping trip, and I have to say it was really useful.”
“Why useful?”
“It taught me I can’t stand camping! The mosquitoes alone… I’ve avoided it ever since.”
Levi laughed. “Once bitten, eh?”
Finn cackled. “I see what you did there. Quick, very quick.”
“Have we changed much, do you think?”
Finn glanced toward the window, just in case, but there was no sign. “I think so. I mean, Shaun’s quiet, but he always did keep to himself. We just brought him out of his shell a little. Dylan… I still don’t know about Dylan.”
“What do you mean?”
“I know he dates girls—I think he dated all the girls in our graduating class—but sometimes… I don’t know. I mean, we all knew Aaron was straight, but that didn’t mean he was always asking questions. Far from it—Aaron acted as if none of it was his business. Dylan, on the other hand…” Dylan had asked a lot of questions.
“I just thought he was curious.”
“Like Ben was?” It was only in the last four or so years that Ben had come out. Not that any of them had been surprised by his announcement.
Finn chuckled. “Ben was still figuring things out when he joined us.”
“He didn’t so much join us as we rescued him.”
Ben seemed to attract the bullies. Even in junior high, Finn remembered watching Ben fleeing from aggressors during every recess. They seemed to take one look at that baby face, and yearn to punch it. In high school, Big Steve, the janitor, had found Ben cowering in the room that served as Steve’s office. He’d told Levi, who had taken Ben under his wing.
“Did you ever wonder about Big Steve?” Finn had. It had felt like an odd thing for Steve to do, to bring Ben to Levi’s attention, rather than tell a teacher.
We were better for Ben than any teacher could have been.
“Not then, but years later Seb told me he ran across him in the gay bar in Ogunquit. Apparently, Big Steve’s boyfriend was a tiny little thing.”
“Wow. Then Steve was looking out for Ben too.” Finn smiled to himself. “Why am I not surprised Seb was the one who just happened to be in the gay bar? Of all of us, I think he ranks as the one who was always the most out-and-proud.” He laughed. “Remember that day we found out he had gay magazines in his gym bag? I still don’t know how he had the nerve to bring them to school.”
“What I want to know is, how did he get them? He never did say.” Finn heard a muted voice in the background. “I’ll be right there, Grammy,” Levi called out. “Sorry, Finn, gotta go. Let me know how much it will cost for the wood—and your time, of course—for Grammy’s chair.”
“I’ll keep the receipt for the wood, but you are not paying me for making it. This is for Grammy, after all.”
“Aw, thanks. We’ll talk soon, okay?”
“Sure. Go take care of Grammy.” Finn disconnected. He stared out of the window at the darkening sky.
So what are you gonna do—stand here all night on the off-chance he comes back?
Finn’s inner voice of reason won out, and he reached for the TV remote.
Anything to distract him from the pull of that window.
I wonder what his voice is like?
It wasn’t the first time Finn had lain in bed and contemplated the guy on the beach. Finn figured it would be deep, a rich, velvety voice that he could listen to for hours.
I wonder if he talks while he fucks?
And just like that, his thoughts veered off in a more carnal direction that had him reaching for the lube so he could rub one out. It wasn’t as if he was ever going to get up enough nerve to talk to the guy, right? This was way safer. Finn could say whatever he wanted, and there was no risk of the guy rejecting him, disappointing him…
“Nice place you’ve got here.” Fantasy Man peered at the living room. “Quaint.”
Finn snorted. “Is that another way of saying small? And you didn’t really come here to talk about the decor, did you?”
“Why do you think I left the dog at home?” His eyes gleamed. “I didn’t want there to be any distractions.” He smiled broadly. “So… want to show me where your bed is?”
Finn grabbed his hand and led him through the house to his bedroom. Once inside, all the air was punched from his lungs as Fantasy Man propelled him backward onto the bed, where Finn bounced before the guy pinned him to the mattress. His face was above Finn’s, those eyes locked on his, his lips so goddamn inviting…
“Kiss me,” Finn demanded, pushing up with his hips.
“Just kiss?” His eyes glittered.
Finn grinned. “For starters. We’ve got all night, right?” Then he moaned as the guy grabbed his wrists and pinned them to the pillow above his head.
“We’ve got all the time we want.”
Finn stroked his cock, lost in his fantasy, trying his damnedest to make it last, to hold onto the dream, because that was all the guy would ever be—an unattainable dream.