He thumps him up against the side of his car, and suddenly, my legs will me to move as the anger quickly rises through my veins.
Pulling the handle more forcefully than I should, I stomp out of the car, making my way over to both of them. “Jake, stop it!” I shout, a little louder than I intended. But seriously. This shit is not okay. “How dare you treat Michael this way? You have no right coming here after what you’ve done, and you certainly have no right roughing up the one man who has only ever been kind to me. Take your hands off him! Now!”
He releases his grip, and Michael straightens his shirt out, but Jake still has fury written all over his face. “He has no right being here and daring to take what’s mine.” For full effect, Jake points a finger in Michael’s face.
Shaking with anger, I wedge myself between Michael and Jake, pointing my own finger at Jake’s chest. “You have no right coming here, throwing your weight around like the bull that you are. I may have once been yours, but you lost that right when I came home that night and you completely ignored me!”
Noting my fury and realizing he really doesn’t have a comeback for that, Jake breathes out a little, his face softening. “Okay, I’m sorry. I really am. I came here to talk, and when I saw that you were with him,” he spits, pointing his finger again at Michael, “I saw red.”
He opens his mouth to say more, but when I huff at him, he thankfully keeps his mouth shut. Ignoring him for now, I turn around to see if Michael is okay. I ask if he is, he nods, and I mouth the words, “I’m sorry,” to him. I then turn my attention back to Jake. “He’s one good friend, taking another to the movies. For goodness’ sake, you’re such an asshole at times.”
He opens his mouth to say something again, but again quickly changes his mind. On a defeated sigh, he says, “I’ve missed you.”
The tears threaten to sting, but I stand my ground. I’m not going to let him see me cry.
“Jake, you and my mother…” I begin, but I can’t get the words out as I grip at my chest, trying to ease the pain tearing through my heart. I close my eyes and will myself to look at him. When I do, his face has changed from rage to agony.
“I don’t know how that happened. I swear to you, Ana. During those last few months we never …” He looks at me and then at Michael. He knows this conversation shouldn’t be happening here, so he wisely shuts his mouth. Michael, who is obviously feeling uncomfortable, tries to make his excuses to leave, but I tug on his arm and pull him to my side.
“So are you telling me that this is a miraculous birth? That this is some kind of immaculate conception?” I belt out a laugh as the whole thing sounds farcical.
He places his hands on his face, visibly distressed. “Look, can we have this conversation in private?” he asks, glancing at Michael.
Michael points to the other side of his car and says, “I’ll just be over there if you need me.”
“She won’t,” Jake mutters angrily under his breath. Once he’s out of earshot, Jake runs a hand over his face again. “A few months ago, I found out you were on a date with some guy. I went out and got drunk ... really drunk. I remember Stella putting me to bed and undressing me, but I don’t remember anything after that, I swear.”
I stumble a little, causing Jake to reach his hand out, but a different set of arms grab me instead. I grip onto Michael’s arm, willing him to keep me upright as my legs turn to jelly.
“I think maybe you should leave,” Michael growls, gritting his teeth. "You’re upsetting her.”
Jake glares at Michael, but I see the hurt behind his eyes that Michael’s the one with his arms around me instead of him.
I watch as he closes his eyes, taking in a deep breath to calm his anger. “I will go,” he responds in defeat. “I just wanted you to know that I’m trying to order a paternity test, but your mom’s digging her heels in. She’s moved out, did you know that?”
I nod my head. “I know. I had the pleasure of her company earlier today, thanks.”
He reaches into the back pocket of his jeans and pulls out a wrapped gift. “I wanted to give you this and wish you a happy birthday. I’m so sorry about Friday. I was just so shocked and quite frankly, stunned. I just want you to know how much I still love you, even though I understand you don’t want us to be together for now.”
I take the present and nod my head as it is the only thing I can do to hold back the tears I know will fall at any moment. I really don’t want him to see me cry.
He turns back and heads for his car, all the while I’m trying to process everything he’s just told me. Jake drives off, and I let out a breath, the tears falling as he leaves.
Michael swiftly pulls me in for a hug and holds me until I start shivering. Releasing me, he makes a grab for my hand. “Come on, I’m going to take you back home and make sure you get in okay.”
I don’t say anything, just nod my head. Once at the door, he’s hesitant to leave, but I assure him that I’m fine. I say my goodbyes and thank him for a lovely evening before switching on the lights inside the apartment.
It’s still dark, so Jessie isn’t home yet. I make my way into the living room and head directly to the bottle of rum Jessie keeps in her cabinet. Grabbing the bottle, I pour myself two fingers then swig the liquor down, welcoming the heat that burns my throat. It’s just what I need after my encounter with Jake.
Picking up the present he gave me, I make my way to my bedroom and sit on the bed admiring the figurine again. She looks even more beautiful with just my bedside light filling the room. Seeing her shadow on the wall, makes me wish I could absorb some of the serenity she seems to possess in her elegant beauty.
Reluctantly, I turn my head towards Jake’s present and open it. When I do, I’m startled by his choice. It’s the Bon Jovi album that Alan smashed to pieces when I was a child. My heart tightens in pain at the memory, and the memory of what it represents and that it came from Jake pours in to me like the sick, twisted little game that life likes to play.
As I hold it up to inspect it more, a note slips from the wrapping. I pick it up from the floor to read it.
Track number four reminds me of you. Happy Birthday, Ana. All my love, Jake.
I turn the album over to see what track four is, and now the tears are coming again in full force. It’s one of my favorites called “In These Arms.”
I sit at the edge of my bed, the lyrics to the song playing in my head. I set my alarm and climb under the sheets, hoping sleep comes. I trail a finger on the album cover wishing that things could have been different. No matter how I feel, the betrayal, the hurt, the pain. I would do anything to feel Jake next to me, comforting me.
To be in his arms tonight.
9
After a fitful night’s sleep, I wake up to the sound of my alarm echoing around the room. At first, I don’t realize where I am, but then it hits me like a thunderbolt, and instantly my stomach churns.
Jessie knocks on the door then storms in, opening my curtains, bouncing on her feet. “Morning, sleepyhead. We have to get up now,” she sings cheerily.
I groan and scowl at her. “How can you be so bloody damn cheerful in the mornings? I hate you.”