He releases me and takes a step back, holding out his arms as if he’s saying, Check out the goods. He smirks and spins in a circle so I can get the full view of him and all of his hard muscles as water runs over them. I have to say, he is quite sexy. His arms are completely covered in black tattoos, from his shoulders to his wrists. He has another black-and-white tattoo of the American flag on his pecs, just above his nipple, and a tattoo of an eagle in the center of his upper back, just below his neck. But the rest of him is untouched.
“Do you approve?” he asks, smirk still in place.
I smile. “I do. And you?” I ask, spinning in a circle like he did.
His smirk is now a full-blown smile. “You know I do,” he says, moving in for a kiss.
I kiss him quickly but pull away to ask. “Where’d you get all these tattoos?”
He shrugs. “Wherever I was at the time. I was stationed in Germany for a while, but I stayed mostly in the US. Texas, North Carolina, Hawaii.”
“I’ve never really been attracted to tattoos before, but I don’t know. They look good on you.”
He laughs. “I’m glad you approve. Maybe it’s time to brand that pretty skin of yours.” He trails his fingers along my collarbone, and I shudder.
“I don’t know about that. My mom would kill me.”
He rolls his eyes. “Your mom is gone, and I think it’s time you start living the way you want. If you want one, get it. If not, tell me to fuck off.”
“Can I say… fuck me instead?” I flash him a smile.
“Oh, sweetheart. I hope you say that one a lot.”
We’re back at my place, and the three of us are lounging in the living room. Erin is sitting in the oversized lounge chair while Logan and I are on the couch. We each have a plate in our hands that contains pizza, bread sticks, and hot wings. Erin and Logan picked out the movie we’re watching. A horror flick, of course. She did it so she can laugh at me when I get scared. She knows I never watch anything scary, but of course, horror is Logan’s favorite movie genre too. If she hadn’t been born years after he’d left, I’d wonder if she belongs to him. She has more in common with Logan than she does her own father, but I guess that’s because he wasn’t actually around much.
I butt out of their conversation as they talk all things horror and give each other spoilers—whatever that means—on movies the other hasn’t seen yet. Even though I couldn’t care less about the movie or what they’re talking about, I do enjoy seeing them interact together. Erin really seems to open up to him, almost like she’s known him her whole life, but I guess I’ve told her so much about him over the years that she probably feels like she does. And Logan, while being a little awkward toward her at first, really begins to warm up. It’s like it took him a minute to wrap his mind around the thought that I have an eighteen-year-old daughter, the same age I was when he last saw me. But he shows her nothing but respect and really listens when she talks where most guys would tune her out.
He laughs and she giggles and they get along like they’re the best of friends. By the end of the night, she decides to head up to bed and pulls me into the kitchen.
“What’s up?” I ask, carrying in empty pizza boxes.
“I just wanted to let you know that I support you. I think Logan is a good guy, and I think he’ll really keep you company and take care of you after I leave.”
“Aw, hun. Thank you,” I say pulling her in for a hug.
“I love you, Mom. And I didn’t want you to think that I was feeling weird or anything about the whole divorce thing and now this guy hanging around. I like him, so it’s cool,” she says, pulling away.
“Thank you. That’s means a lot to me.”
She starts to walk off but spins back around. “But if you think I want to have a sibling at the age of eighteen, you’re crazy. Condoms are in the bathroom drawer.” She flashes me a smile and takes off for her room.
Logan walks into the kitchen with the plates and glasses from dinner. “What was that about?”
“Oh, that was just my daughter reminding me that she doesn’t want a little brother or sister and telling me to use condoms.” I laugh about the last part.
“What?” Logan says, his eyes wide and suddenly on high alert, causing me to laugh.
“She just has a weird sense of humor. Takes after her mom ’cause we both know her dad doesn’t have a sense of humor at all,” I say, wrapping him up in my arms and looking up at him. “Want to stay here tonight?”
“With your daughter in the house?” He looks up at the ceiling.
“What? It’s not like we’re going to be swinging from the light fixtures or something. Just a harmless sleepover.”
“Thank you for the offer, but I have an early delivery coming in the morning, and I have to be there to sign for it or they’ll ship it back. And I’m not paying double shipping on a shower.” He leans in and presses his lips to mine. “Want me to help you clean up?”
“No, I’m fine. I’ll just throw these boxes out and throw everything else in the dishwasher.”
“You sure?”
“I’m good. Get home to your sofa since you’re rejecting my big, soft, warm bed with me in it naked.”
He rolls his eyes. “You’re killing me.”
I laugh and show him the door. “See you tomorrow.”
“Bye,” he says, giving me one last kiss before walking out.
Twelve
Logan
On my walk home, I can’t help but think about how happy I am. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt any kind of positive emotion. For the last twenty-two years, I’ve felt nothing but sadness, guilt, anger, and hostility. I never thought I’d come back here because I was sure that El hated me. But coming back set things in motion. It made me open my eyes to the world around me and not just stay tucked away in the bubble I’ve been living in. I found out secrets from my past and made my way back into her heart.
El and I have been having the time of our lives acting like we’re still just kids, but we’re not kids anymore. We’re adults with real lives. We haven’t talked much about what this could mean for our future, and I’m not sure if that’s on purpose or not. Is she afraid to talk about the future because she isn’t sure I’ll be in it? Do I want to be in it? Can I live the rest of my life here, in our hometown? It’s a long way from living in a hut on a remote island in Hawaii. Not only that, but living in the house that she has shared with him for the last twenty years? Sleep in his room, in his bed? I guess it should’ve all been mine anyways.
Does El even want to stay here after her daughter leaves? She used to have big plans of going off to college, and then she wanted to travel the world before settling down anywhere. And this little town wasn’t on the list of anywhere. She wanted out just as badly as I did. Is that still the case, or has she given up on that dream long ago?
I imagine being able to travel the world with her by my side. We could live in Hawaii together, watching the sunset every night. I could show her New York, California, and everything in between. Surely, she has a friend here who could take care of things while she’s gone. Suddenly, I just want to do everything we said we’d do all those years ago. Every promise is at the forefront of my mind, ready to be acted upon.