“And you told me you didn’t want anything to do with me. Why would I think for a second that you’d want to be involved in a child’s life?”
“So, you’re admitting he’s mine?”
I look away, unable to speak the truth.
“I still want a paternity test.”
“You weren’t here,” I sob, the threatening tears making themselves known. “When I came back to tell you, you were already gone. Your grandfather wouldn’t tell me where you were. He said any kid you had a part in conceiving was already at the shit end of the gene pool and would be better off without you.”
He doesn’t cringe with the news, but there’s never been any love lost between those two.
“How hard did you look for me, Tin? How many times did you search my name online or ask around about me, hmm?”
I clamp my mouth closed because the answer is not once. I was so bitter back then, an angry, pregnant teen who had the ability to hold on to a grudge despite the news being every part his business.
After being turned away at his old house, I went right back to Dallas, relieved that Ignacio wasn’t around to relay the news to. I did what I thought at the time was my due diligence and never had the urge again. I had my parents there to help. I didn’t need a man that didn’t want me trying to tell me how to raise my son. If he could walk away from me so easily, I wouldn’t give him a chance to do the same thing to Alex.
“You knew that night,” he whispers, his eyes searching mine for the truth. “You said you had something else to tell me, but when I asked, you just walked away.”
I force my eyes to stay on his even though every cell in my body is telling me to look at the floor in shame. Adding thirteen years of struggle, of maturity, of experience makes what I did that night shameful, but the woman I am now doesn’t resemble that scared, bitter girl, and it’s not fair to compare the two.
“A paternity test, Tin. I’m at my grandfather’s old house. Let me know when it’s arranged.”
He forces a business card in my hand before turning and walking away.
Chapter 5
Ignacio
“You’re saying she did the right thing?”
“I’m saying you broke a teenage girl’s heart—”
“To keep her from staying in this fucking town,” I remind him. “If she stayed—”
“It looks like she ended up there anyway.”
“And that’s my fault?”
Deacon Black, my boss and the owner of Blackbridge Security, sighs on the other end of the line.
“I’m not saying it’s your fault.”
“But if I didn’t do what I thought was right back then, I wouldn’t have missed out on nearly thirteen years of my child’s life.”
“You made a decision as a young man. I can’t say that it was a mistake or not.”
I know it was a mistake. I knew it back then, but I was looking at things from my point of view. I would suffer the fiery pits of hell a million times over if it meant ensuring Tinley wouldn’t be stuck in this town with nothing to her name, but even breaking both our hearts didn’t stop it from happening.
“She made a decision as a teenage girl, one I’m sure, from what you’ve told me about her, she thought was the right one.”
I can’t argue with his reasoning, but it doesn’t make the situation suck any less.
“I’ve missed everything,” I whisper. “Can you even imagine?”
“No, Ig. I can’t.”
Deacon’s wife, Anna, is currently pregnant with their first child, and the man is beyond ecstatic at the prospect of being a father.
“I also don’t know what I would’ve done if Dani had gotten pregnant at such a young age either. I know I wouldn’t have been prepared to be a dad.”
“But you would’ve given it everything you had,” I argue.
“And you would’ve too. Listen, you can’t turn back time. What’s done is done. Right now, you need to decide how you’re going to approach things going forward. Wren said he sent you the information he gathered. Have you had the chance to go through it?”
“No.” I’ve had the time but opening the file that’s been sitting in my email for the last forty-eight hours is the equivalent of pulling the pin on a bomb. I don’t know what I’m going to find, but I’m certain it’s the timeline of the only girl I’ve ever loved life falling apart.
“You need to go through it. Maybe there’s something in there that explains why she didn’t put much effort into tracking you down.”
“Maybe,” I agree, but I doubt it.
I’ve been called stubborn more times than I can count, but that character flaw of mine has nothing on Tinley Holland when she has her mind set to something. It’s why I had to threaten her with legal action if she didn’t set up the paternity test.
I haven’t seen her since I confronted her on the steps of a house I never thought I’d set foot on again, but she did send a text with information for the test I demanded.
“The paternity test is scheduled for this afternoon.”
“So, in less than a week, you’ll know the results.”
“I already know what the test is going to say. This is only a formality.”
“Because you think she’s going to cause problems when you try to get to know him?”
God, I want to know him. I want to have been there for his first smile, first steps, his first day at school. Hell, every single day between then and now, but what would our lives look like? I know I wouldn’t have been able to leave her even if it was to join the Army and make a better life for the three of us.
“Should I?”
“Should you what? Get to know your son? You know the answer to that, man.”
I do. I know I can’t walk away now.
“I’m going to need some time.”
“Take all the time you need.”
“He’s so angry,” I confide. “I only had a quick brush with him at the school, but that kid is in the exact same place I was when I was his age.”
My blood runs cold thinking about why I was so angry at that point in my life. There was no light, no hope for me back then. My home life was miserable, each day a waiting game to see just how drunk, just how violent Mateo was going to get before the alcohol in his bloodstream made him pass out. Just the thought of Tinley putting my son in that situation makes my blood boil. Is Alex so angry because of the men she’s had in her life all these years? If Wren’s dossier even hints at someone hurting him, I may be a felon before I get the chance to return to St. Louis because I would never leave a man breathing that caused her or him an ounce of pain.
“Don’t expect him to run to you with open arms. She may be the one who told the lie, but that blame is going to fall on your shoulders. You forced her out, and there’s no telling what she said to explain your absence.”
“I know. I’ll keep you updated as I know more, but I still have to settle my granddad’s estate. There’s no telling what’s going to happen where Tinley is concerned.”
“We’ll be here when you get back, but if you need us down there with you, all you have to do is let me know.”