“It doesn’t make me right, Em. You know that. They were yours. All four of them.” She frowned. “It still seems weird to think of four guys belonging to you. I know this wasn’t easy for them, but they gave you up because they loved you.”
“Yeah, right.” I snorted. “They got what they wanted and passed me up.”
“You told me everything that happened. There’s four of them and you slept with two. Working on your theory, they all had to have been with you, to pass you up.”
I sighed. “That’s not helping.”
“They did this to protect you. I don’t think that’s anything to be afraid of.”
“What if they’re here?”
“In London?”
“Yeah.”
“Not possible.” Ashley slurped up some of her pasta.
“Why?”
“If they had been here, you’d have known about it. They wouldn’t have been able to stay away from you. If they ever come to London, you’ll be the first person to know about it.” She winked at me. “I remember the way they all looked at you. It was like you were the sunshine and they gravitated toward you. One day, I hope someone looks at me like that, but I doubt I will ever allow myself to fall in love with someone.”
This made me pause as I watched her. “Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why won’t you give love a chance?”
“Come on, Em. Think about it. I can never allow myself to fall in love with a guy.”
“And again, I’m wondering why the hell not.” I wasn’t being stupid.
“You’re being stubborn.”
“Hello, I’m not the one who’s thinking of never being with a guy.”
Ashely put her food down. It was only half eaten. She held her hand up. “First, you don’t even look at men. You turn down dates when you have no reason to. Second, if you love someone with all of your heart and soul, then you’ve got to be honest with them. The person I fall in love with, I already have to lie to them, Em. I’m not me. The me that I am is with you. Everything else, it’s all a lie.”
“You’re not lying.”
“I guess you don’t understand.”
“I do,” I said. “I just want what is best for you, that’s all.”
My friend reached out, taking my hand. “And I love you for it. I do. But I’m a realist. I know there are going to be sacrifices to keep us safe. This is the risk we took. I’m glad I did because I love you. You’re the best friend and sister I always dreamed about. I’m not going to let anyone or anything come between us. We’ve got this.”
I put my food down and threw myself at my best friend, holding her close. “You’re the best present anyone could ever want. I love you so much.”
We held each other for several minutes.
“Now, I’m starving. You don’t think after all of that touchy-feely crap I wouldn’t eat. I need food and I need it now.”
I laughed along with her, just thankful she was in my life. If the four monsters from my past got anything right, it was bringing her with me to take care of me, and for that, I couldn’t hate them.
****
Caleb
Back in Crude Hill
The sound of screams filled the air. There was a time the sounds bothered me, whereas now, I loved it. They made me feel, and that, nowadays was more important than anything else.
“Please, I beg you, please.”
Getting up from my seat, I held the whiskey in my hand as I watched Gael and River each take a turn slicing into the man. He was a cop, one who had been working both sides. He thought to tame us monsters. He’d once worked for our parents, being the perfect little mole within the force. We’d long taken over and people needed to realize our parents were like Santa Claus. We were anything but. We were the real deal. People feared us more than they ever did our fathers. It was kind of funny when I thought about it.
The man bled, and Vadik chuckled, drawing my attention. He had a girl sitting in his lap. More important, it was the cop’s daughter. She was twenty years old, but she knew where real loyalty was. When she heard what her father had tried to do, frame us and bring the real law to our town, she’d come directly to us. Like all good minions, she was rewarded. This girl would have the mark of the Monsters. She’d be untouchable. It was rare for us to give our symbol to a girl, to anyone.
It was so hard to find loyalty in this day and age.
River stepped back, unzipped his fly, and began to piss all over the cop, who tried to swing out of the way.
His blood painted our floor so beautifully.
Gael did the same, and I heard a feminine squeal. Turning toward Vadik, I saw him kiss our guest, his hand cupping her tit. I waited, wondering what he would do. When he was done kissing her, and the girl in question had her legs spread, Vadik removed her from his lap and sent her on her merry way.
There would be no fucking tonight. There hadn’t been any fucking in a long time.
We’d all tried, though.
Emily’s memory was just too damn strong. She was in our blood.
Her presence was gone, long gone, but we all still craved her more than anything else.
Gael, seeing that Vadik still struggled, attacked our man again, this time, stabbing him repeatedly. With his anger, he rarely was easy to rein in, not that I wanted to. Our fathers had given us all an ultimatum, and well, that had been their mistake.
I smiled when I thought of my father, all of our fathers. They had believed we were controllable. Their biggest mistake was taking the one person who could keep us in line. Rather than bring her back, they’d stood their ground. They were old fools. Now at the ripe age of twenty-five, we’d taken their empire from them.
They were all still alive. We couldn’t exactly kill them, at least not yet. The fun was in showing each one how much they had fucked up. The mistakes they’d made. This town once had been a town for enemies to walk freely with the risk. Now, it was no more than a bloodbath.
We didn’t allow them to hide their true colors. We didn’t play pretend.
Nightmares were not confined to the dead of night.
It was real. Every single day.
“He’s dead,” I said, bored. This was the problem with letting Gael play. He always took it way too far, and look what happened. Our fun was gone for the day.
“Fuck,” Gael said. “Damn, he didn’t last now, did he?” He stood up, wiping the blood on his jeans.
Gone were the suits that had once been the symbol of good business. We only played the part for all our legal shit, but we paid good men to keep an eye on that. There was a time we’d have enjoyed running the businesses, playing both sides. Ever since Emily was taken from us, we’d only been content in the darkness. There was no room for light in our lives.
“He would have lasted if you showed any kind of control,” I said, draining the last of my whiskey. This was damn good stuff, but I wanted more.
“Oh, really, and you think you’ve got better control?” he asked.
“I know I do because I get to entertain myself for a lot longer than you.” I raised my brow as he came toward me.
We could fight. We were our only real competition. No one had been able to best us, and we’d killed one too many soldiers. When we beat the shit out of each other, our only agreement was no killing blows. It was a rush to hold back on one another.